Wr/Prod/Dir : Paul Norman
Stars : Sikki Nixx, April Rayne, Madison, KC Williams, Angela Summers, Jamie Leigh, Mercedes Lynn, Chris Stock, TT Boy.
VIDEO TEAM/PAUL NORMAN PROD's.
Yes folks, it's yet another Paul Norman movie with yet more prosthetic sex. I would really like to know if there is a market out there for this sort of thing. If there really are people who get turned on by a guy with foam dildoes on each hand (Or a guy with a dildo on his nose in the case of "Cyrano" ). To be fair, there is a balance between the prosthetic sex and the real sex in this movie, unlike in "Cyrano" or the abysmal "Penishands 3" where the fake stuff drastically outweighs the real thing. Thus, the film isn't as bad as it could be...
Just in case you don't already know, I'd better explain the "Penishands" saga briefly, so no-one gets confused. Edward Penishands is an innocent, well-meaning individual shunned by society because of the huge penises that he has on the end of his arms instead of hands. He lived in a big castle out in the middle of nowhere until (in part one) he was rescued by dildo saleswoman, Alexandria Quinn. She took him back to her house, where he met and fell in love with her daughter played by Jeanna Fine. Having found true love, Edward now felt his life complete. However, things have not been going too well since the end of that one...
This film opens with shots of the gothic castle (a painting, BTW) in a thunder storm as swirly string music plays in the background. Inside the castle, Edward (played by Sikki Nixx) sits in a pile of junk and looks very upset. We are told in voiceover that his true love had to leave him to go to Europe or something, but she would return in a year's time. It's now six months later and Edward is on the verge of cracking up. Cut to the outside of the castle, where April Rayne is making her way through the rain shouting "Edward! Edward! Is that you!?". Eventually, she locates him, sitting in the corner, and introduces herself as a top class Hollywood agent. She lifts him up and drags him off to her place...
Gone now are the nice gothic set pieces as we now venture into the tres' tacky "Porno apartment" (TM). She sits him down on the couch, tells him how he's destined to be a big Hollywood star, then brings out a duster to clean him up. Obviously, all this rubbing on the Penishands turns him on, so they decide to screw. It begins with some ludicrous sucking on the dildoes during which both partners express "how good it feels" (!) numerous times. Very silly. Then she sits on his face for awhile, before eventually breaking into the trademarked Penishands screw. This is where she lies down on the couch, he penetrates her with one of the Penishands while the other one just kind of rests on her stomach. Not very erotic at all. After several hours... erm I mean minutes... of this nonsense, she asks him "Haven't you got something else you want to show me, Edward?" and he finally pulls out his real appendage for a straightforward missionary then doggie screw, before finishing with a bit more mish and sending a cum shot flying from her crotch to her neck. Then it's time for his hands to cum, too, so we get a very silly sequence where she rubs his hands, he makes stupid facial expressions, then finally in a plethora of "OH MY GOD!"'s he shoots ridiculous loads of fake semen from the ends of the dildoes. Does anybody actually find things like that erotic? I know I don't.
Now we cut to another tacky porno apartment where Mercedes Lynn and some wimp who I haven't seen before (Chris Stock, going by the credits) sit around talking about Edward. It turns out that April is also Mercedes' agent and Mercedes is not getting any work now that April's devoting all her time to Edward. Desperately wanting to crush Edward's potentially successful acting career (yeah, right) in it's early days, Mercedes hatches an evil plan, but before she can tell it, she decides to screw Chris. This starts with some brief fellatio. Very standard with more use of her hands than her mouth. After this we get some cunnilingus, where she stands above him and he kneels below her crotch, moving his tongue about. We get some full-body shots of Mercedes here, but I'm not much of a fan so they're wasted on me, I'm afraid. Moving swiftly along, now, we get the average mish/doggie screw, devoid of passion or heat, ending with a pop shot on her butt, which drips down a bit between her legs. Yawn.
Her plan, it seems, is to hook up Edward with a pair of sex-crazed cocaine junkies (played by Angela Summers and Jamie Leigh) who will act as a bad influence on him. Thus, she invites him to a party. He arrives at the door, where he is greeted by Angela and Jamie, and they take him into the lounge. First, they get him drunk then they decide to fuck him. Technically speaking, this is just a g/g scene as Edward never unveils his real penis and the girls are just playing with dildoes, but there is no actual g/g interraction going on here. Hmmm.. So really it's just two side-by-side solo-scenes?? Then how does this explain the cumshot? Errr... Well, anyway, first he lets Jamie suck on one of the hands for a long while as he rubs the other one up and down between Angela's breasts. Then they move over to the couch, where the two girls lie down and he penetrates both of them at once, giving them a Penishand each. Angela looks very pretty here, BTW, with small breasts and straight hair, but Jamie has certainly seen better days. This goes on for a bit, before we get Jamie's wild throes of passion (!). She fakes a very intense orgasm and starts screaming and flailing about like nobody's business. It's quite funny to watch the look on Angela's face as this is happening. It's a kind of "What the fuck?" look! Not to be outdone, Angela attempts to fake an orgasm, but obviously has a lower embarassment threshold to Jamie, therefore merely screams a bit and then calms down. After all this, it's Ed's turn and he blasts a gallon of fake cum across each girl's chest. Following the cumshots, they sit him down on the couch and force him into snorting coke until the screen goes blurry...
Next, we are treated to an amusing sequence detailing the downfall of Edward Penishands. As he is thrust further and further into a non-stop lifestyle of sex and drugs with Angela and Jamie, his film career comes to a standstill and the papers label him a no-hoper and a junkie. April quits being his agent and sends him packing, he starts wearing sunglasses and stupid shirts (obviously these are the side-effects of cocaine, kids) and eventually is seen punching a fan in public (The ultimate Hollywood crime). His career is over. All he has left now are Angela and Jamie, who only love him for his hands (Oh it's so sad!). Alas, even this can't last long. All the cocaine has made him impotent and in a truly shattering sequence (with violins playing in the background) he lifts up his Penishands, only to find... They've gone limp. He collapses in a heap and we fade to black.
Cut now to a few months down the line in a park of some kind, where Edward is employed to pick up litter. Sitting at a picnic table are two young lovers (played by TT Boy and KC Williams) who start to comment on him. She expresses sympathy for such a pathetic creature and they want to help him out. However as he gets closer to them, they notice his hands. ("OH MY GOD!" she shouts, "It's Penishands!!") TT gets mad and threatens to call the police and have Ed arrested for indecent exposure, so Ed runs off, leaving TT and KC to screw (for no reason) on the picnic table. I would say this is outdoor sex, but we never actually see the sun and the table in the same shot so it could be faked. But it's a watchable scene nonetheless with KC looking fairly attractive, despite only putting in an average performance. She begins with some poorly executed fellatio (more of the handjob with tongue-work style) then lies on the table for a bit of cunnilingus. Soon they move into a missionary screw on the table, before she crawls naked across the surface (nice full body shots) and sets herself up for some doggie-screwing, shot from strange angles. Then he lies down on the table for some cowgirl (not reverse-cowgirl) before he eventually sends an nearly-invisible cumshot flying across her spine.
Back at the castle, Edward is sitting in the corner, shaking and looking very upset indeed. He rips his calender off the wall in a fit of rage and then curls up into a foetal position. Just then, we hear someone yelling "Edward? Is that you?" and Madison walks in. She introduces herself as being a friend of Edward's true love and has been asked to look after him until she finally returns. Madison notices that Ed's hands have gone limp and suggests that maybe she should do something about that. She rubs the hands up and down for awhile and eventually (to the sound of booming orchesta music) gets them hard. A smile floods across Ed's face and he begins to give her cunnilingus. Now, here I was expecting another lame Penishands screw, but amazingly, they don't get used AT ALL (!!) in this scene. Instead we have a fairly hot, well shot standing screw with Madison and Edward. After the cunnilingus, she takes out Ed's member and starts sucking him off, briefly, before breaking into the screw. The atmosphere is quite dark here, the sets are gothic and Madison does a lot of talking. All these factors add up to make quite a nice scene. They continue in the standing-position for awhile before finishing off with some standing-doggie leading up to a powerful cumshot across her back which could have been better placed, I'll admit. The final shot has the two of them kissing and Ed looking wide-eyed into the camera, as the swirling string music starts up again.... THE END.
Hmmmm... An okay movie with a 3:2 ratio of real sex to prosthetic sex, but really this is just a standard sex flick. The last scene was fairly good, and the Angela Summers and KC Williams scenes were watchable, so I guess that the sex wasn't all that bad. The plot was amusing in parts although the acting was poor all round. Overall, I'll give this a strictly average 2.35 on the Imperial Scale and recommend it to lovers of prosthetic sex or major fans of any of the actresses involved.
Happy viewing!