Where The Boys Arent

From: Joey Markham ([email protected])
Subject: REVIEW: "Where The Boys Aren't"
Date: Tue, 13 May 1997 12:08:19 -0400 (EDT)




WHERE THE BOYS AREN'T
director: Judy Blue.   Vivid, 1989.
running time: 73 mins.

cast: Barbara Dare, April West, Summer Rose, Fallon; Joey Silvera, Paul
 Thomas (non-sex roles).
and introducing: Tori Welles.

rating: 5 out of 10 stars (or Imperial rating: 2.10 / 4.00)


Joey's a porno movie director and Paul's a producer/writer.  Paul has a
script that he wants to film but wouldn't you know it, he seems to have the
greatest difficulty finding any male talent.  Of course, all these girls
come out of the woodwork all hot and bothered and ready for filming.  But
Joey tells them there is no girl/girl in the script.  This gets them upset.
Paul says at one point, "I hate girl/girl.  That's why I didn't write girl/
girl.  I think girl/girl is stupid" and at another point, "I don't 
understand why they have to put a girl/girl in every single video.  It
doesn't make sense.  It's stupid, it's boring" (ironic for someone who thinks
Janine is the next best thing since sliced bread!).  Anyhow, the girls start
rehearsing lines among themselves and get caught up in sexual situations on
and off the sets.  In the end, Joey's considering directing an all-girl
video but Paul still isn't sold on the idea.

(Scene 1): Tori Welles, Barbara Dare

- Tori here is pre-boobjob and looks stunning with a mane of dark hair she
loves running her fingers through and flipping over from side to side.
Barbara is a bushy haired dirty blonde with great natural breasts and a
sexual manner that almost gives her a butch attitude.  Tori's the insatiable
sex kitten while Barb's the intense, give-it-to-me vixen who quivers with
intensity as she does a little face-sitting.  Tori's box is completely
bald but neither of their pussies are shown off in close-up shots.  There
are some sparks of heat, yet it doesn't get scorching.

(Scene 2): Tori Welles, Barbara Dare, Summer Rose

- This scene is sort of distracting because there are others sitting or
walking around in the background.  These three women look happy enough to
be there and they taste eachother with hungry tongues but it's kind of tame.

(Scene 3): April West, Fallon

- April's a pretty, short-haired blonde with a semi-wholesome look and
very nice breasts and Fallon's a long-haired brunette with sort of flabby
breasts but an intense way about her.  Fallon always strikes me as the
kind of girl who looks like she has a lot of sexual energy packed inside
of her, but never really lets loose most of the time; also, when she
squirts (which she doesn't here) she still looks as if she's holding back
from either screaming in orgasm or clenching her teeth and pouncing on
her sexual partner(s) some more.  Both girls do look eager to satisfy
eachother's urges and the brief highlight, for me, came when April
vigorously rubbed her right breast over Fallon's pussy.  You can tell by
the expression on her face that she's crazed-to-please her partner.
Overall, a fairly hot lez scene.

(Scene 4): Tori Welles, Fallon, Summer Rose

- This threeway isn't as hot as it is sensual.  They do the usual sucking
and licking eachother and there's variety in the positions (no daisy
chain, however) but it doesn't go any more than the usual moaning and
panting.  Summer Rose is a performer from the mid-80's and her hairstyle
proves it.  She looks like a generall happy-go-lucky woman, but I don't
find her all that attractive.  Tori and Fallon prove more enthusiastic and
look good slurping eachother up but basically this scene just slurps up
quality air time.

(Scene 5): Barbara Dare, April West

- Things start off slightly intense as the girls are practicing some lines
and move their heads closer to eachother, about to kiss.  You can really
feel the erotic energy that both of them are withholding, instead of
lashing out right then and there.  When they do jump eachother's bones,
it's not quite a lash-out session but a vibrator and dildo 'been there, done
that' chapter in the eternally growing library of girl/girl sequences.
Barbara toe-fucks April a bit, and darn it West gets that nasty look in
her eyes as if a caged beast yearning to be set free, but no climax is
reached.  A good start, but lousy finish.

Quality out, "Where The Boys Aren't" is just your average girl/girl outing
filled with pretty ladies.  April's bout with Fallon is the only interesting
scene.  Tori is gorgeous, as always, but look elsewhere for her higher-
calibre work.  Barbara's a great catch as well, with a sort of tomboy-ish
appeal, but you'll only want to watch her scenes on a dare.  One good thing
is that all the women are natural chested, but even that can't pull this
one out of the slump.  Perhaps if you like sensual lesbian scene you'll
enjoy this more, but for the hardcore explicit dyke-seekers out there,
this one will just work better with your remote control.  Either rent this
for the one good scene, or at your own risk.


Joey Markham
[email protected]