Twin Action

From: [email protected](Nick Benkovich)
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies
Subject: Review-"Twin Action"
Date: 20 Aug 1996 06:02:10 GMT
Lines: 150

INTRO: Well, this is my first review to asm, and I'm sorry it can't be
of a better movie. This is a clear-cut case of a good box cover drawing
me in to a shitty movie. Kids, don't be like your ol' buddy Nick and be
seduced by the cover of this turkey, which features Angel Bust, who
looks great on the cover, but the movie...well, just read on.

Twin Action, Legend   shot on video, 1994
Directed, written, produced by Frank Marino
Starring;Lynn LeMay, Angel Bust, Rebecca Wild (sic), Lynden Johnson,
John Dough, Randy Spears, and J.D.

The video starts with John, a chemist, and Randy, an investor, having
the "breakfast of champions" a few cold ones (Miller High Life; must be
high budget:)) while Randy tells John how much money they'll make over
John's new formula, a tanning solution which, when rubbed on a women's
breasts, makes them horny as all get-out. As they part company, John
goes to some other room, while Randy pretends to go out the front door,
but ends up sneaking back in, with master double agent Lynn LeMay in
tow. Upon going upstairs, Randy reveals his devious plan to steal the
formula for himself, with the help of LeMay. To make sure the lotion
works, they spy on John's gold-digging wife, Angel Bust, applying the
formula.

Scene 1a;Angel Bust
Pretty bland stuff off Angel rubbing the lotion and masturbating. If
you've never seen her before, count your blessings, as she has about
the most ridiculous pair of silly-cones I've ever seen. So bad, there's
what can only be described as some kind of dulap underneath each one.
Somehow, though, this inspires Randy and Lynn to get it on, thus we've
got
Scene1b; Randy Spears and Lynn LeMay
This is intercut with scenes of Angel's scene, as if having to watch
Lynn's monstrous mams wasn't odd enough. I give her credit though-she
gives good head, and is a rather spirit fuck. Standard eating by Randy,
followed by super head by Lynn, mish on a chair then a bed, capped off
by a weak Randy cumshot on her crotch.

Randy decides that it's time to get his hands on the lotion, and he
wants Lynn to go get it. But so she's not recognized by John, he asks
her to utilize her mastery of disguise, so she does a twirl and -poof!-
she becomes Lynden Johnson.

Lynden Johnson, if you've never seen her, looks like Rebecca Wilde on
crack. She walks over to Angel at poolside, who's saying that this
lotion is so great, she can pinch her nipples and almost orgasm just
from that (yeah right.) Well, there's Lynden to oblige her, and we're
into 

Scene 2;Lynden Johnson and Angel Bust
BOOOORING. Some uninspired licking and sucking. Best part was a cut to
Randy watching the whole thing from inside and saying "Now this is
better than the Buttman series," so at least I got a good laugh. For
those who still care about the plot, Angel lets Lynden borrow the
lotion.

Lynden comes back to Randy, triumphant. Small problem; the lotion
bottle doesn't have the ingredients listed on it. What to do? Why, have
Lynden transform into Rebecca Wilde so she can fuck John for the
formula, of course!! But not without Rebecca first asking Randy what
she's getting for this;
Rebecca: "A trip to Hawaii?"
Randy: "Maybe."
Rebecca:"Jewels?"
Randy:"Maybe."
Rebecca: "How bout a few things from the 7-11, Max ?(Spears' chracter)"
Randy: "What, am I fuckin' made of money here?"

Great exchange, and again, I'm distracted from seeing how bad this vid
really is.  Anywho, Rebecca seduces John, and we have;

Scene 3;John Dough and Rebecca Wilde
Wilde starts out with a very good blowjob, which is unfortunately
marred by very noticable looping. No oral for Rebecca, we go to
cowgirl, with John playing up the tit theme of this vid. Rebecca's tits
are much smaller than they are now, so either these are her natural
ones, or they're an earlier job (my guess is the latter.) The cowgirl
eventually turns into a missionary, with some more looping; first her
dress is on her belly, then near her shoulders; either she's become a
porn starlet AND illusionist:) this is some really bad, noticable
looping. John with a good size shot on her tits, except for one shot
that surprised her and ended up on her shoulder.

Does Wilde find out the formula? No, because Dough didn't memorize it,
he had his wife memorize it instead (Why?). John wants to do it another
time, as he's never done it twice in a day (yeah right John) to which
Rebecca suggests  he go star in an adult movie.

Rebecca conveys the bad news to Randy, who says she's gonna have to
fuck Angel again, but this time he's coming with her, to make sure she
doesn't screw it up.

Meanwhile, John decides Rebecca's idea wasn't half bad, and he looks
for the number of the guy who said he made them (Morono? Macaroni?) He
decides to look on the videos he keeps underneath his bed. While he's
doing that, we get into;

Scene 4; Randy Spears, Angel Bust and Rebecca Wilde
This starts with a double blow job, and it looks like Angel's finally
found something she's good at. Rebecca ends up hogging Randy's shaft
though, so Angel's pretty much reduced to just standing there, which I
cna live with:) It ends up with Randy fucking Rebecca doggie while she
eats Angel for a while, before it's time for the films first
titty-fuck, with Randy mish-style on Angel. He asks for the formula, to
which Angel responds "It's titty titty bang bang" which makes Randy get
this look on his face which again has me LMAO. Finally a badly cut
cumshot on..well, Angel's hands mostly, with some landing on her
cleavage.

So what does titty titty bang bang mean? That'ss what Lynn, as Lynn
again, aims to find out. But she's tired of sex, as she's been in all
the scenes in this vid (she's a master of disguise, remember) and "all
I have to show for it is a sore twat." But John tells her he'll tell
her what it means, but she has to fuck him. She starts to decline, but
John says it's either that or he calls the Frank guy and makes a stupid
movie (apparently some of this vid is fact based:)) She decides to fuck
him, and here we are into

Scene 5;John Dough and Lynn LeMay
It starts out with some titplay, which is unfortunately shot in
close-up, which makes Lynn's already huge tits look like they deserve
their own zip code. This is followed by some eating by John and then
another good bowjob by Lynn on John. This is followed by some more
tit-fucking, this time horizontally by Lynn on John. This turns into a
cowgirl, with too many shots of Lynn's worst feature, her
cellulite-ridden posterior. Again, segue into a missionary, capped by a
good blast on the neck and chest.

Lynn goes to Randy and Angel at poolside, to tell them the formula.
Slight problem, however, in that aparantly the stuff is wearing off on
Angel (so?) and thus their plan is a failure (what?) Not a total loss,
says Lynn. Randy did get to fuck her. That's true, says Randy, who then
remembers she's a master of disguise, and asks her what she really
looks like. She does a spin to reveal her self as JD, in one of the
funniest bits in porn I've seen in a while. Fadeout on a classic funny
look on Randy's face.

CONLCUSION: Nick's tip #1; When the best part of a video is the comedy
performance of a male actor, it's pretty friggin' lame. Everyone smiled
though, so at the very least *someone* was enjoying this video. If you
want to see Randy Spears in the best role he's ever done, then by all
means. Otherwise, stay away.
Nick's rating;.75 out of a possible 5.0

Nick
-- 

Nick Benkovich          
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at http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/2856/intro.html
"I always tell the truth...even when I lie."
-Al Pacino, "Scarface"