Not really characteristic of VIVID (ie prententious, arty, expensive, etc) "Stiletto", one of their releases on the WAVE could easily be passed as your average one-day wonder from any old company of the street. This company seem to flit from one end of the spectrum to the other. One minute it's high budget, arty, boring crap then the next is low budget, stupid, yet still boring crap. What's with them?
Anyway, enough about that. I generally like Toni English as a director (as far as VIVID goes. Hey! "Boiling Point" wasn't THAT bad, was it? "BadGirls" had it's moments... sort of) and Cash Markman gets my vote as being one of the best script writers ever to hit the porno business (see almost any of the stuff he's done with Scotty Fox.) so this movie's a grave disappointment. It stars Mike Horner as a hard-boiled private eye (again!). It seems that he can only play creepy geeks or hard boiled detectives! It begins with Mike being hired by "Miss" Sharon Mitchell (Off-subject ramblings:- What's with this "Miss" business? Is this her idea of a porno knighthood? I hope not, and if it is I'd like to know what she's done to deserve it! Yes, sure, she's been in the business for a long time, but IMHO it's REALLY starting to show. No offense meant to her fans, but she is really revolting, esp. in this film. I don't mind her polluting my screen as long as she doesn't make a big deal of it. "Miss" Sharon Mitchell indeed! Maybe I'm wrong and it's just a big sign that she's still single and desperately trying to find a man! SOME HOPE! Then again, could even be an attempt to slam the rumours circulating that she's actually a man? Anyway, sorry, I degress, back to the review :-) to find proof that her husband is having an affair. Mike says he'll do it and off he goes while Sharon, Brittany O Connell (Who I used to like, until I saw how remarkably pudgy and ugly she looks in this movie) and some lamer called Bobby Vitale (I haven't seen him before) do a three-way. Sharon's just plain awful, Brit's fat and Bobby's a dime-a-dozen porn stud. The scene last for hours and the cum shot is crap. He tries for a facial but misses both girls. It would have been crap anyhow. With much more of this I'll have to get a replacement FF button. It's looking overused...
Next scene : Mike is atop a hill, looking through a pair of binoculars. He's spying on businessman Marc Wallice (Sharon's husband), his secretary Yvonne and his client Mark Davies (sporting his usual obviously fake US-accent). Marc leaves and instructs Yvonne to "entertain" his guest. They screw. We've seen Mark and Yvonne screw each many times before, and this isn't one of their best moments, so FF through this one, too. She's not brilliant, but better than the last two and he's just annoying, IMHO. The cum shot's a facial, by the way, but nothing worth the wait, although it's notable that she does actually "ASK" him to cum on her face, something which doesn't happen that often and, I feel, adds a bit to the scene. Not much, in this case, but something, nonetheless.
Following this, Mike follows Marc to the apartment of a strange woman, Tera Heart (I thought (hoped) she'd retired), whom he screws on the bed, while Mike takes photos. Tera doesn't seem very enthusiastic and Marc's lost his touch. (Anyone remember his scene with Traci Lords in "Open Up Traci" back in 1984. God! That must be one of the HOTTEST scenes I've ever witnessed... But anyway, I degress, again...) so we have more FF-Fodder. The cum shot is on her back and she ignores it and lies completely still, as if waiting for the production manager to come along with a towel and wipe it off after they've cut.
The "plot" quickly skips on to Mike (after giving the photos to Sharon) meeting up with Brittany in private to discuss the case. (Can't remember why. I thought he'd just solved it anyway?) None of this dialogue is useful to the plot and it merely serves as an excuse for a sex scene. Brit brings in Yvonne (Whattsa matter? Couldn't afford a cast?) and this one contains mild S&M overtones, with Mike being handcuffed for about 20 seconds of the scene. The lighting is peculiar and I don't think that Yvonne actually gets penetrated in this one, whereas Brittany gets it from all directions (no anal, tho', if I recall correctly). Okay, if you can put up with what Miss O'Connell has become in recent years when compared to her early stuff then you may enjoy this scene, but otherwise reach for the remote. (You can also expect a visit from some nice men in white coats shortly) I can't remember where the cum shot was. Sorry. It all went by so quickly....
Now, the plot swerves away on a curve to Mike becoming obsessed with the mysterious woman he saw Marc with (A nice twist, shame it had to happen 60 minutes or so into the movie!), so he follows her to a hotel room where he learns that she has a "Insatiable appetite for sex" (HA!). She screws Colt Steele on a bed, with Mike watching. Colt's one my personal worst performers of modern time, with his premature ejaculations and his monosyllabic mumble of a voice, and here (although he doesn't cum too soon) is no exception. Tera lies there virtually asleep while we're forced to endure loooong boring shots of Colt whacking it in. The angle is cliche'd and repetetive. If I have another shot like it I'll throw up. Where's John Stagliano when we need him?! Eventually he cums (on her butt) weakly and falls asleep (much like I was doing... Falling asleep that is) while she, because she has an (cough!) "insatiable appetite for sex", masturbates for literally about five seconds then stops, abruptly and we cut back to Mike. There's a mild plot twist at the end, but no more sex, and in case you want to watch this film I won't give the game away. It's the high point of the movie, but that ain't sayin' much....
Overall Verdict : A grave disappointment from English and (especially) Markman, showing once again that most modern films I watch nowadays are crap. Also the lack of a female cast (only three women and Sharon (he/she perhaps?) with all three doing two scenes each) doesn't help much. Mike's okay as the PI and the plot twist at the end makes you think that maybe they had an idea in their heads, even if they fucked it up totally by arsing around at the start. Sex is awful, every scene a definate FFF (Fast Forward Fiesta) and mediocre videography to boot. I'll be nice and give this one a 1.60 on the Imperial Scale.
Happy viewing.