Squirt Squad

From: [email protected] (Eric Dew)
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: Squirt Squad -- Review
Date: Fri, 21 Feb 97 19:12:20


Starring Kerri Downs, Corby Wells, Fallon, Ron Jeremy, Blake Palmer, and two
or three other no-namers (guys).

Ok, the storyline is zilch.  The camera work was poor to incredibly poor.
The lighting sucked big time (in several scenes, you see the light move
in front of the camera -- talk about amateur action).  Sound was bad.  In
short, a typical lame-ass John T. Bone(head) technical marvel.  S Andrew
Robert's editing didn't help much.  There were some looping, although most
of the editing errors may be due to the fact that Shamu was given shit to
work with.

However, the sex was pretty good -- if you can see it.  Kerri came again
and again.  In the first scene, Kerri and Corby get out of a bathtub (why
were they there?  Dunno; the sound sucked so bad I couldn't hear the 
dialogue).  They immediately go down on two guys, Blake Palmer is one, and
the other never showed his face.  Kerri squirts within seconds, which leads
me to believe that the camera missed a bunch of getting-hot moments.  Then
again, Kerri seems to come just by thinking about it.

Corby also squirts, but because the lighting is so bad, you can't see it
happening very well.

So what's the deal with the squirting?  Well, I like it because the girls
appear to really enjoy themselves coming again and again.  Kerri goes into
a catatonic state wherein she's coming continuously.  In the background,
one hears someone (director? cameraman?) asking her what's wrong.  She answers
that she's coming and coming and coming.  The camera shows her sitting
upright, legs spread, but nothing is happening to her anywhere.  She's just
sitting frozen to the floor.  Apparently, the cocksucking she gave prior to
her achieving catatonia caused her multiples.

Corby has a wonderfully pretty pussy.  The lips are well endowed, the clit
nice and fat.  Where is she now?  She gets fucked by Blake, who seems to be
able to rise to the occasion for this scene.  She also enjoys herself, although
she doesn't come nearly as often as Kerri did.

In the second scene, Fallon is in bed receiving head from some long-haired
guy while Ronnie boy watches.  Kerri creeps in through the window and claims
she belongs to the squirt squad and -- mumble, mumble -- the plot here
escapes me, she frigs herself to a squirt onto Fallon while Fallon also
fingers herself to a nice orgasm.  I always liked Fallon when she comes
because she really comes.  Her legs go ga-ga, her hips buckle, she gets the
shakes, you get the point.

Then, we get into an almost tiring scene of Ron doing Fallon, long-hair
doing Kerri, then long-hair doing Fallon and Ron doing Kerri.  The reverse
cowgirls didn't work very well, but still, Kerri squirts off another bucket's
worth.  Fallon, when she comes, also fills a bucket.  The girls go at it with
each other (which is the best part of the video).  Kerri fingers Fallon,
Fallon blows a load.  Fallon fingers and sucks Kerri and she squirts some.
They do each other for a bit more, and we end the scene with the obligatory
male ejaculates.  Ron blasts a pretty good Peter North imitation (one stroke,
though) but misses both Kerri's and Fallon's face.  Got to clean up the rug
guys.  Long-hair finally dribbles something onto Fallon's face.  A weak
effort.

The last scene consists of all the participants.  Kerri tells us that they 
belong to the squirt squad and when they come, they're like mermaids (or
something like that).  Whatever.  Again, the scene is spoiled by the lamest
camera and lighting work I have ever seen.  Too often, the focus point is
in the shadows of the cameraman's head.  Who is stupid enough to stand in
front of the light source?  If it weren't the cameraman's head, it was
one of the male actor's head, or his wristwatch taking over 80% of the 
screen real-estate, or the female kneeing the camera (yeah, the knee a
real erogenous zone).  The sound was putrid, and the worst thing is that
the moaning is always in the background, never from the characters who are
being taped.  This leads the viewer to feel that (s)he is being cheated
of a hot scene because they're taping the lukewarm while the redhot is
somewhere else.

Kerri again wets down the set.  Fallon again goes into her epileptic 
seizures while coming (I like that, folks).  Corby squirts once, but her
beautiful pussy is deserving of better reviews, so I'd add points just
for her pussy.

The end.

Sex:  hot
Technical merit:  worst than Win '95 (from the point of view of a Mac user).

EDEW