Strap On Sally 9

From: [email protected] (SRanz6969)
Subject: Dr. Ranz Dissects...STRAP-ON SALLY 9
Date: Thu, 03 Apr 97 23:36:19
Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com

  As I promised in a previous girl/girl thread, I was going to elaborate
on Jim Gunn's latest effort and offer constructive, cost-saving(okay, Jim,
stop drooling!) advice on how to improve the state of the Sapphic show by
using SOS 9 as a typical example of how most of the industry messes up
mirthful muff-diving.  And so, without further ado...

Strap-On Sally 9:  Chantilly & Shayla Tearin' It Up Strap-On Style. 
Pleasure Productions.  D. Jim Gunn.  Chantilly Lace, Shayla LaVeaux, Taren
Steele, Rayveness, Jessie James, Roxxie Ray, Jenny St. James, Tracy
Christiansen, Courtney Fox, Frankie Ann.  95 Min.

   SOS 9 starts off very well with pretty and informative opening credits,
matching up correctly spelled credits with the picture of the performer. 
Who says pornography can't lead to orthography?

   Scene 1:  Chantilly Lace and that sweet Southern sassafras, Rayveness,
who could make any man's bone red, decide to play couch coochie. 
Chantilly immediately dives on Rayveness' large natural breasts, but THEN
STOPS (aargh!) to remove the rest of Rayveness' expensive-looking
lingerie.  A brief tease, followed by nipple-rubbing and typically tepid
outside-the-mouth tongue-"kissing".  Rayveness mouths Chantilly's bosoms
hungrily bot too briefly.  Her cunnilingus is hotter, but she stops/stoops
to spit on that which she is fully capable of lubing with her tongue
alone. Lace is nude but Rayveness keeps her thigh-high boots on, a mystery
since her legs looked pretty good nude in her prior outings.  Lace's
earrings are a distraction, as well as her conspicuously brushing her hair
back for the camera's sake as she goes down on Rayveness , as she lubes
her strap-on.  When Rayveness mounts her, Lace still holds on to her own
"dick" as if afraid it might fall off(Ron Jeremy does that a lot in his
boy/girl scenes, too).  Only good stuff at this point is that Lace puts it
nearly all the way into Rayveness.  There is some obvious overacting at
this point, and it's hard to believe our heroines actually came.  And did
I mention that Chantilly's fingernails are too long to do any serious
fingering?

Scene 2:  Jessie James pays redhead Jenny St. James to have sex. Uh oh,
two girls with the same last name getting it on -- shades of the Magma
twins!!  Jessie niftily nibbles her nipples but smears lipstick nearby. 
Nude Jessie then mounts Jenny's face, who is lying in bed with heels and
pantyhose.  Hello??  Jessie pours some stuff on Jenny's muff, rubbing her
breasts into it(good!), but then inserts her strap-on into Jenny while
Jenny plays with her own hairy pussy, issuing forth moans that appear a
tad overwrought.  Jesse slows down, adds more lube, and the strap-on pace
picks up, missionary-style. But during the subsequent doggie-style, Jenny
backs into Jesse's dildo, so she has to work for her own "orgasm",
rendering Jesse useless.  The final "coda" is hot but ends abruptly: 
Jesse stands up and fucks Jenny, whose arms and legs are wrapped around
Jesse's back and hips.

Scene 3:  At rival Shayla's East End Services, Roxxie Ray and Tracy
Christiansen tease Shayla and Taren.  Roxxie goes down energetically on
Tracy's pierced pubes while Taren does likewise to Shayla's shaved
pubes(her post-surgical breast scars show).  Tracy's pretty face and nice
hair is marred by an obnoxiously obvious boob job.  The camera oscillates
between the pairs, so that what we're seeing appear to be excerpts of sex
scenes rather than full-fledged ones.  Taren spreads her lips open and
Shayla slaps them before strapping Taren on(Taren masturbates during all
this, keeping her heels on).  While the other pair watches, Taren slides
down Shayla's "shaft", which Shayla holds steady while playing with
herself.

Scene 4:  Roxxie and Tracy go outside to take a dip in a backyard pool. 
Traci lets her hair down and both are completely naked.  They shift
positions so often during their short scene that it looks like pure
calisthenics, not pleasure.  Roxxie briefly uses a hand-held dildo on
Tracy.

Scene 5:  After Jessie James agrees to undermine Chantilly's escort
service, she and Shayla "seal" their pussy pact.  Jessie goes down on her
briefly, puts a dildo in Shayla's ass while Shayla strokes herself. 
Shayla straps her on while Jessie plays with herself with one hand while
the other rests on one of her butt cheeks.  The kissing is only slightly
deeper than in Scene 1.

Scene 6:  6-girl orgy, with the entire cast minus Jessie and Shayla.  More
of the same occurs here, magnified into a Bruce Seven-like dildathon, as
Jessie and Shayla sneak out with some document as the screen declares, "To
be continued..."(in SOS 10, presumably).

  Most of what's wrong with SOS 9 is indicated in the way I've described
the action.  The very premise of the show - the power-fuck potential of
strap-ons - is undermined by the accompanying use of hand-held dildos, the
lackadaiscial motion of those wearing the device(along with the women
being taken having to push their butts back against the dildo), and with
the women sometimes holding on to their weakly-attached members.  The
awful kissing, the needless(and inconsistent use of) lingerie and heels in
bedroom scenes, and the mediocre camerawork really drag the video down.
   
   How could this video have been "saved" within the context of its
threadbare plot?  First, lose the threads so the babes are bare!  If you
were to ask most people who enjoy the lesbian fantasy more than any other,
the main appeal is to watch the sensuous intertwining of nude, sexy, hot
females.  Second, scars are a turn-off to the porn fan mainstream(except
for fetishists), so if they can't be removed (or disguised in such a way
that normal skin appears in their place), hire other talent.  Third, deep
kissing is a must, and if that means excess lipstick has to go, so be it(a
great demonstration of this aspect is regularly featured in Napali Video's
"tongue wrestling" softcore series - one show with Julia Parton and Greta
Carlson was amazing!). Fourth, pierced pubes are a turn-off except to
so-called Generation Xers who barely patronize the industry anyway. 
Think, Jim:  how many of us really want to see a metal ring attached to
the labia licked? (ditto with tattoos). Fifth, why are the women
constantly playing with themselves when their partner is supposed to be
doing the pleasuring?  This sends a message that the women are not really
getting off, that they need assistance.  Sixth, the camera cuts away from
some of the more promising action just as it's starting to simmer.

   So, let's remake that first scene, for example.  (If you're booking
Chantilly Lace and Rayveness a few weeks in advance, strongly suggest that
they let their pubic hair grow back - like the mane around a lion's head,
it causes their pubes to stand out and appear even larger than they really
are).  Since the "story" has them clothed at the start, have them start
embracing and kissing while standing up,  By kissing, I mean
deep-throating each other's tongues simultaneously - have them do it for
as long as it turns them on.  The camera should do a close-up on their
mouths so we know it's not being faked.  As they finish, have the camera
focus on the wall or desk clock(if there isn't one, get one) and dissolve
or fade out.  Fade back in, with the clock advanced by, say, ten minutes,
and focus on the totally nude pair, who are still standing and starting
another kiss.  Once they come up for air, they head over to the couch/bed.
 Rayveness gets behind Chantilly, squeezing her boobs while licking her
unadorned ears. Out to make the audience's southern regions rise again,
Rayveness then mouths Lace's boobs hungrily until Lace is honestly in
heat. She gets Lace on her back, who alternates between clutching the
sheets or her own boobs as Rayveness takes charge down below.  Without
SDS(spitting-drooling-slurping), she spreads Lace's legs open and, with
her fingers, repeatedly squeezes Lace's labia like a sandwich and strums
Lace's clit until she comes.  (Please instruct your talent not to fake it
but to let their partner do her best to get her off and moan as she would
in real life.  Only when she actually does climax should she say, "I'm
coming!" or the equivalent - this way, the audience knows what a real
Chantilly Lace orgasm looks like.) Then, Rayveness puts in all eight of
her non-thumb fingers into Lace's pussy to the hilt, which she can do
without fear of causing internal hemorrhaging to Chantilly since each of
her painted fingernails will be short.  After Rayveness moves those eight
digits skillfully in and out, with the camera swallowing the action in a
greedy close-up, Lace is brought off, again.  Then, Rayveness goes down on
Chantilly, licking but most importantly, sucking on Lace's clit and
labia(with a little finger action thrown in) for Lace orgasm #3.  Then,
Rayveness brings out the dildo, which has been lubed off-camera.(Also,
Lace will have been "measured" off-camera to see how big a dildo she can
take - or agree to take).  In the missionary pose, Rayveness straps on
Lace, putting her "big man" ALL THE WAY inside Lace(not just the head!). 
The dildo is tightly strapped on, and Rayveness pumps it in and out
without touching it while Chantilly is in seventh heaven, for real.  As
Rayveness gets more comfortable doing this, she can lower her body on top
of Chantilly and get in some deep kissing and mammary munching.  Once
Chantilly comes(assuming she has reached her limit), the ladies switch
positions/roles and Rayveness will then be taken to her orgasmic limit. 
My sapphic slogan: Pop Until You Drop.  The scene ends sweetly, with our
heroines collapsing into each other's arms and falling asleep.  Cue up
some Celine Dion tune in the background...
    Now, Jim, not only is that a Sapphic Scorcher, a sure-fire AVN
nominee, but an instant classic.  Here are your savings:  no fancy duds,
heels or hand-held Doc Johnson stuff to shell out bucks for.  Don't use a
fancy clock - hell, you can borrow mine!  The length of the remade scene
#1 and similar treatment of other scenes make for an amazing 4-scene
90-minute tape or a 6-scene two-hour thriller.  You can take that to the
bank...

Sheldon Ranz
[email protected]