Rock N Roll Rocco

From: "JMT" ([email protected])
Newsgroups: alt.sex.movies,rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: Review #4: Rock N Roll Rocco
Date: Tue, 08 Apr 97 19:04:59
Organization: Buttmen of America

ROCK N ROLL ROCCO
CAST: ROCCO, A TON OF EUROPEANS, RUBY, CHRISTIE LAKE, LINDA THOREN, JOEY
SILVERA AND JOHN STAGLIANO
EVIL ANGEL VIDEO

Let me say right off the bat that this may be the stupidest video I have
ever seen. And, trust me, I have seen a lot of stupid porn, so that's
saying something.

I've always been under the impression that Rocco's videos were probably
heavily cut, leading to most of them not making any sense. Still, you could
enjoy the hot sex and forget the incomprehensible plot. Neither of those
apply here. This tape is just flat out dumb and the sex can't carry it.

If the sex was good, I might be able to overlook the ridiculous rock band,
Elio Le Storie they call themselves, but in absence of good sex, I was
forced to watch with my mouth hanging open as this band put on one of most
embarrassing spectacles I've ever seen. I wanted to hide my face, it wasso
embarrassing. Kind of reminds me of how mind numbing it is to try and watch
a sitcom character suddenly break into song.

Normally I'm a fan of Rocco. I like his enthusiasm for anal and the fact
that he doesn't mind twisting his body into all kinds of weird angles so
the camera can catch the best angle. But if this was the first Rocco tape
I'd ever seen, I would have written him off as a creep and never bothered
with him again.

The first half of the tape revolves around the "rock band" putting on a
concert. Rocco prowls around the floor area, picks up a couple of chicks,
one of them the luscious Anita Blond, and takes backstage and gives thema
boring fuck, something I thought Rocco was incapable of.

Rocco makes his way on stage, dragging the two women with him, and the
crowd goes nuts, acting like Jaysus himself had suddenly made an
appearance. I don't buy it. Either this was entirely staged, or the band
had told the crowd to go nuts over this guy who was prowling around the
stage.

A quick cut and we suddenly find ourselves in some kind of night club where
some seriously unattractive amateur swingers have dull sex. This kind of
thing can work, as Rocco himself proved with Real Italian Swingers, but
this group doesn't cut the mustard. Lightning fast cuts between couples
doesn't help either.

We make our way back to the concert where some dweeb who should really be
taken out and shot is running around in a super hero costume and cape. Oh,
and the band is singing some kind of absurd tribute to John Holmes. I know
this because the producers were kind enough to close caption the Italian
lyrics. Thank you so much.

Suddenly, we're on a red clay soccer field (bet that feels good when you
fall down) and Rocco appears to be trying to play Howard Costell. No,
seriously, he's sitting on the sidelines, doing play by play. Someone
should have talked him out of this, if for no other reason than the way it
shows how Rocco is seriously starting to lose his hair. Have we ever hada
top bald porn stud?

This scene could work as the blonde haired referee, who resembles an
actress on the sitcom Dave's World, gets her butthole seriously worked
over, but the scene has two main problems. One, there are just too many
people to really keep up with, or enjoy, what's going on. Second, due to
all the people, there are just way too many quick camera cuts. Just as you
get used to watching the referee get buttfucked, you're suddenly watching
Rocco's brunette broadcasting partner sucking on some guy's noodle. Then
it's something else and so on and so on.

After a travesty is made of what have could been a good scene, the women
are rather good looking, we're back on stage with that god awful rock band.
They're taking turns showing off their bodies, and the less said about
that, the better. Still it's pretty much the last we see of them, so
something good does come of it.

The next scene, like the soccer game, is another fish out of water. it's
set in an office and Rocco appears to be the boss and a white trash
brunette is his secretary. The brunette, who started off not being too
appetizing but ended up with me thinking I wouldn't mind going a round with
her, teases Rocco a while before finally giving in. Rocco licks her
butthole and goes through the routine stuff, but surprisingly, doesn't give
us the hard pounding anal I was fully expecting. It's pretty much true, for
whatever the reason, that the less beautiful the woman, the more likely she
is to get buttfucked. This woman is ripe for a rear end ramming, but Rocco
never gets near her backdoor.

The next two scenes were total turnoffs, but for two different reasons. The
first scene starts off with Rocco, another guy and a blonde in a limousine.
Rocco gets sucked off and the other guy pulls glops of white stuff out of
the woman's pussy and shoves it in her mouth. I like pussy juice as muchas
the next guy, but all I could think of here was yeast infection.

The threesome make their way to a big house and the scene becomes
disjointed after this. I really have no idea what's going on, except Rocco
briefly buttfucks a skinny blonde in a bedroom door, then, for no apparent
reason, begins to slap her across the face. I'm not talking love taps here.
I'm talking a borderline, full fledged assault. I understand the conceptof
make believe, and not understanding Italian doesn't help, but I hate to see
a woman get hit for any reason, and this just totally turned me off.

The scene ends with the two blondes receiving a hard, and I mean hard, anal
reverse cowgirl pounding on a big bed. Usually, the harder an anal pounding
gets, the more I enjoy it, but one of the blondes here was obviously not
enjoying it. She was on the verge of crying and her screams of pain were
way too genuine. There are women who can take a vicious ass pounding with a
big smile on their face, J. R. Carrington anyone, but somebody needed to
stop the camera and let this poor girl take a break. Seeing a woman treated
this way makes me glad Rocco's losing his hair.

The final scene normally would have been pretty hot. It involved red haired
Ruby, Christie Lake, somebody named Linda Thoren, I believe, Hakan (my
wife's favorite), Joey Silvera and, what killed the scene for me, John
Stagliano.

This scene was shot a long time ago, I don't doubt this, and Buttman was
probably a while away from his fateful encounter with a transexual, but the
scene still gave me the creeps. And Joey Silvera skulking around, laughing
stupidly, didn't help. Somebody needs to tell him to stay behind the
camera.

Unlike 99 percent of his Buttman movies, Stagliano actually has sex in this
one. He fucks Ruby for a good long time, then comes all over her asshole.
Sure, Stagliano was probably clean when this was shot, but how many porn
actors are now approaching Ruby's holes with great trepidation.

The scene has some merits, Christie Lake gets a good DP fucking and Rubyis
a really good looking red head. But the spectre of Stagliano and HIV drag
it into the graveyard. Sorry, but things like this just creep me out.

So, I really can't think of any kind of recommendation for this tape other
than to avoid it. Rocco's done a lot better than this badly edited mess and
you should check them out. Try Rocco's Real Italian Swingers or, better
yet, something he was in, but didn't direct.

JMT