Temple Of Poon

From: SRH ([email protected])
Subject: Review =?iso-8859-1?Q?=96?= "Temple of Poon"
Date: Mon, 24 Feb 97 10:30:05
Organization: Netcom

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Review: "Temple of Poon" Plush,  86 Minutes
Director:  Stuart Canterbury

Saw this in the store so I picked it up based on the 4.5 rating given by
AVN.

Tyfanny Million, Kaitlyn Ashley, Jill Kelly, Heather Lee, Sindee Coxx,
Kimberly Kyle, Nancy Vee, Bridgette Monroe, Joey Silvera, Mike Horner,
Kyle Stone Tony Martino, Tom Chapman.

Dr. Jane Marx (Tyfanny)  and Preston (Joey) are on an Indiana Jones type
thing with Joey discovering the hidden treasure of Darvik, the god of
erotic fantasies.  Tiffany, who�s dressed for this archeological
breakthrough like she�s on her way to the country club for a casual
Saturday lunch, tells Joey about the myth that any tampering with the
artifacts will result in "...being driven mad by visions of their own
erotic fantasies."  Dr. Preston laughs this off saying he doesn�t
believe in that bullshit.  We also learn that an ancient king entombed
two lovers who were bethrothed but lost their virginity "a little
early".  We now flash back to the two lovers and their nasty deed
(Kaitlyn Ashley and Kyle Stone).  Very uninspired performances by both
which after way too long a time, ends in a facial where we learn that
the ancients had perfected the art of tongue piercing and tattoos.   Back
to the present where Kimberly Kyle and Mike Horner discuss the
ancient curse at a bar (Tyfanny and Joey are sniping with each other
because Tyfanny told Kimberly about the ancient secret.  Seems like
Kimberly and Horner are part of the team.)  We finally get to Kimberly
and Horner getting it on outdoors next to the fire on an air mattress. This
scene has a little more enthusiasm than the first.  Missionary,
legs on shoulders, BJ, doggie style, he cums on her ass.  Meanwhile, Joey
is having a restless dream where we see Jill Kelly,

Heather Lee, and Sindee Coxx (with as bad a set of fake tits as I�ve
seen)  as some sort of pagan ritual threesome.  They play with
themselves for way too long, finally go to a three way lez daisy chain,
ends with some dildo play.  Very uninspired.  I flip off the tape for
awhile and watch NFL films on ESPN.

Joey wakes up and tells Tyfanny about his dream.  She gives him a look
and says "there�s a name for that, it�s called a wet dream." Tyfannynow
looks ready to resume the dig in a nice denim outfit.  Meanwhile,
back at the temple, Horner and Kimberly find a dildo with some
hieroglyphics on it and we flash back to...

Nancy Vee and Tony Martino using the dildo in some type of pagan ritual.
She�s on the marble slab altar.  He rubs the dildo around her mouth
andpussy, eats her, she gets into it, cums.  Fucks her in standing doggie
over the slab, missionary,  finally cums on her pussy. Another very
uninspired and way too long scene.

Back to the present.  Joey now comes into the temple and, after looking
at the dildo, faints.  He�s having another bad dream where we see
Bridgette Monroe in some kind of cat mask playing with herself. Boring.  In
walks Tom Chapman.  She sucks him, he eats her,  reverse
cowgirl, sideways cowgirl(!!!!)  We learn that in the ancient culture,
girls wear high heels when they wear cat masks during sex.   Doggie
style anal which goes to reverse cowgirl anal as Bridgette gets three
fingers in her pussy.  Chapman pumps her pretty hard.  She says
something we can�t hear.  He gives her a facial of which she catches
most of in the palm of her hand and slurps it noisily.  Not a bad finish
to a poor to average scene.  Joey wakes up.  Tyfanny shows him a quote in
the ancient text which she�s translated that proves he�s got some kind of curse.  He looks at
the text. He agrees. She shows him the cure; "All we have to do
is..."  Cut to the temple with Tyfanny and Joey.

She�s barefoot and in a bikini.  He�s dressed wearing a hat.  Looses
clothes but wears hat through scene.  Best of the movie.  She gives him
an enthusiastic BJ, he eats her, she lactates, lots of noise like
she�senjoying herself with nice sultry looks at the camera.  Condom onduring
penetration ending in the removal of the condom when he cums on her
pussy. They look like a happily married couple (are they?) with
enthusiasm and fun.

We cut to the outside. Tyfanny and Kimberly are talking about the
curse.  Tyfanny says she made up the cure.  Says Tyfanny:
"Sometimes you get so horny, you�ll do anything!!!!"  (Girls giggle)."God,
I�ve sunk so low." (No shit, you probably watched the movie.)

End of movie.

Some comments:  The photography, lighting, and music were all very
good.  The story line was plausible, the acting was OK.  Tyfanny looked
good looking like a country club wife which was OK with me.  Horner was
decent. Silvera was decent.  Tyfanny can actually act a little bit but
the sex really sucked (er, was not good).  I keep thinking of the 3-way
lez scene and wondered what it would have been like with say, Debi
Diamond, Felicia and Melanie Moore. I wonder what the first scene would
have been like with say, Jenna Jameson or Missy or Nici Sterling....are
you getting the picture?  I mean, Kaitlyn Ashley had a look on her face
at the beginning of the scene like, "I�ve got two courtside for the
Lakers/Bulls game so let�s get going."

For once, the director, sound guys, music guys and lighting guys had it
right but the scenes (except for Tyfanny) were terrible (Bridgette got a
little nasty at the end of her scene but otherwise not inspiring).
Kimberly Kyle fell short.  The 3way lez could have been great but was
not. Had potential for a good couples movie.   This movie had the
potential to be a 3.75 on the Imp scale but I have to give it a 2.0 only
for the direction, lighting, etc.  If you want steamy sex, forget it and
use the rental money for beer.