Prod/Dir : Greg Dark
Wr : Alexander Haight (probably Greg Dark)
Stars : Crystal Wilder, Tyfanny Million, Jon Dough, Rocco Sifreddi.
Co-stars : Danyel Cheeks, PJ Sparxx, Brittany O'Connell, Lacy Rose, Francesca Le, Nikki Dial, Terry Thomas, Tony Tedeschi, Marc Wallice, Cal Jammer, Leanna Foxxx, Heather Hart and Cody O'Conner.
VCA PLATINUM
You may have noticed that I've split the cast list into two halves, stars and co-stars. This is because the script clearly defines the main characters and the others just serve as background characters put there mainly for sex scenes and/or scenery. Therefore, by now, you should have established immeditely that this film does indeed have a plot, and quite a strong one too. If you're into films with plot (I know I am) you should rent this one now, and not read this review until you've seen it, as I'll give away most of the story...
Anyway, on to the review itself. The film is narrated by Jon Dough who plays "Frank Baxter". It's told from the start that Dough is dead and is telling his tale from the afterlife, dressed in a flashy white leisure suit. He flashes back to the beginning of his story where he and his wife, played by Crystal Wilder, are sitting in bed moaning about how they have no money. To cheer him up she sucks him off for about twenty seconds and then he comes up with a great idea to get them some cash. He suggests that because she sucks dick so well she should become a prostitute! She (obviously) is appalled by the idea and goes to sleep, leaving him lying on the bed with his cock in his hand. He 'phones his pal Marc Wallice and tells him to come over...
Marc comes over and brings his girlfriend Brittany O'Connell who likes to have sex with other people around. So Jon and Marc team up on Brittany while Crystal sleeps beside them. Apparently this is a big turn-on for Marc and Brittany, as they pay Jon for the pleasure of it at the end of the scene. It's a fairly hot scene, with Brittany reminding us once again how she shouldn't have had that damn boobjob. They look fine to me, in this film! She's got so fat after having the op as well.... Never mind, at least we have scenes like this to remember her by. The only disappointment here is the cumshots, which are ridiculously fired at Brittany's shoe! Shoes?! Whatever next? This is a bit odd, but doesn't RUIN the scene completely and may even be a turn-on for some folk....
Back with the plot, Jon decides to consult his lawyer about divorce, assuming that the reason Crystal won't prostitute herself is because she's a married woman. His lawyer turns out to be Rocco (yay!) who owns some kind of strip club on the side. Danyel Cheeks dances for a bit, while Jon and Rocco have an exchange of dialogue about Jon's predicament. Rocco says he can help him, but first Jon must do something for him. Rocco has some "client" or other who wants to have his wife (PJ Sparxx) video'd having sex with another girl and two men (yeah, okay, this IS a VERY weak premise for a sex scene) so Jon is asked to do the honors. So we get a very hot four-way with Danyel, PJ, Rocco and Jon. There's much partner swapping and postion changing in this, so it's a bit confusing to review accurately, but if I recall correctly Danyel gets analed by Jon, and the cumshot is (GROAN!) another shoe blast! Why? I was beginning to worry about whether all the scenes would end up like this...
Never fear, they don't.... Back to the bar, Rocco tells Jon his idea about how to solve the prostitution issue. Rocco knows of somewhere called "The Deep House" where they train women to become hookers using the "finest in New Wave music" (ala the first two NWH films). He says that Jon should take her there and Jon agrees, sounding quite turned on at the idea.
Meanwhile, at Crystal's house, her and Nikki Dial are sitting on the battered old couch, trimming their pubic hair (!). Crystal confides in Nikki about Jon's idea, and Nikki (who plays a hooker) tells her that it's not so bad, being prostituted. To show her what it's like getting screwed by a strange man, they play out a brief re-enaction of the hooker (Crystal) picking up the trick (Nikki) in the living room. Obviously this breaks into a g/g scene. And a remarkably hot one at that. Both girls are very vocal, both girls look great (esp. Crystal) and both girls are very much "into it". They use a double-ended dildo at one point, which is also a nice touch. Basically, this is a great scene. It's no good describing it, just go out and see it!
After they recover from their (supposed) orgasms, Nikki invites round Marc Wallice to show Crystal the next stage... Screwing a man. They break into a three-way screw with both girls getting penetrated and all the usual positions (mish, doggie, oral) with no anal. I seem to recall a double BJ in this scene, which is always quite nice as the girls only use their tongues, no hands. Hot scene, whatever, and it ends in a dual facial, which in all honesty isn't all that impressive, but it doesn't do anything to affect the heat contained in the rest of the scene...
Now, after that 40 minute or so introduction, the plot finally gets off the ground. Jon is taken to "The Deep House" by Rocco and introduced to Tyffany Million, the owner. Basically, "The Deep House" is an elegant mansion in the hills (possibly the same one as in NWH4) populated by sex-crazy women in leather outfits and sunglasses. Tyffany shows Jon to their "research lab" where Heather Hart (in a brief appearance) is lying on a slab with a hearing aid in her ear (instead of those cumbersome headphones from the earlier film). Tyffany explains that when she turns on the New Wave Music, this seemingly innocent girl will turn into a sex crazed monster. She turns on the tunes and Heather starts to dance and masturbate for about 20 seconds or so, before the music is switched off. Jon expresses his appreciation and decides that he definately wants to send Crystal off to "The Deep House". Tyffany asks to see a photo of her and after Jon shows it to her, she seems very shaken and tells Jon that he is to have no contact with his wife throughout the training.
Back at home, Jon lures Crystal to "The Deep House" claiming that she is to become a "sleep assistant" at a laboratory (can't believe she fell for that old chesnut, eh?). Thus begins Crystal's training. First off, she's taken into a white room (earpiece firmly in place) and gang banged by a group of men (Terry Thomas, Wallice, Tedeschi and Cal Jammer) in Phantom of the Opera masks and robes, while Rocco sits on the sidelines wanking the weasel. I'm not much of a gang bang fan but Crystal looks verrry nice here and it's actually quite an erotic little sequence, as she's passed around the table from man to man, being penetrated by one, while sucking another, masturbating another and leaving the fourth man to jerk himself off for awhile whilst he waits for his "turn". Not too erotic a concept, I know, but it works out okay, thanks to Dark's fine camera-work and Crystal's general enthusiasm for such a strange sexual pastime... The four guys all cum on various areas of Crystal's body and Rocco doesn't cum at all.
Now, it seems, we drift by a couple of days and Crystal is fully trained. She is sent home to Dough (dressed in the same sort of slutty gear as worn by Ginger Lynn and friends in the first film) talking cheap and dirty like a common hooker. Dough's getting real turned-on by all this and wants to screw her there and then. However, now that she's trained, she refuses to fuck him except for money, which of course was his initial problem anyway, so that's out. He's understandably pissed, so he returns to Tyffany asking for his wife back. She says that he can't turn back now and Crystal will be like that forever, but Dough doesn't want to give up.
One day he sneaks into the "Deep House" only to find Crystal being approached by Tyffany who tells her that she's fell in love with her and doesn't want her being prostituted anymore. Crystal is surprised by this and is even more so when Tyffany asks for her to move into her chamber (reminiscent of "Exit to Eden" don't you think?). The exchange doesn't continue any further, as Tyf notices Jon and orders for him to be thrown out. For reasons not explained, the two "guards" who are asked to throw him out (Lacey Rose and Francesca Le) decide to take him to some weird metallic chamber and screw his brains out first! They begin with a bit of g/g action and then break into a three-way session with face-sitting, missionary, oral, doggie, and all the other usual positions. Not a great scene in comparison with many of the others but a whole lot better than your average backyard trash from the majority of porn directors nowadays. The cumshot is a facial on Lacey and most of it splashes across her sunglasses!
Now the plot really heats up as Crystal tells Rocco that he must kill Jon Dough, as he's becoming a threat to Crystal and Tyffany's affair. Rocco says he will do it in return for sex with Crystal as he's very much attracted to her. Tyf reluctantly agrees and takes Rocco to Crystal's chamber. Before they screw, Crystal tells Rocco that she really wants to see her husband again and that she misses him a lot. Rocco says he'll do his best and they start to have sex. This is a real stand-out b/g scene, with both partners out of control with enthusiasm and going a little further than just "the usual motions". It's standard postitions, but the heat generated by the pair of them is really impressive. It's a bit gross how Rocco seems to love drooling into her mouth all the time, but hey she seems to like it so who's complaining? This lengthy (but not boring) scene climaxes with a fairly good facial courtesy of Rocco which splashes her face quite nicely...
Cut back to the bar (which means more of Danyel's dancing) where Rocco is tempting Jon to return to the "Deep House" because his wife wants to see him. Jon, overcome by his love for Crystal yet knowing full well it's a trap, agrees to go along... Now we flip to Tyf's chamber where she is telling Crystal the reasons behind her undying love. Apparently Crystal reminds her of a lover called "Josephine" whom she lost in an automobile accident some years ago. She requests that Crystal is now called Josephine and the two of them start kissing. Just as you think it's another g/g scene (not that I'd complain), Dark pulls out all the stops and comes out with the following little sequence:-
Tyffany says that she wants this lovemaking session to be wild, and that to achieve these orgasmic heights she desires, she must wear one of the earpieces. Crystal takes advantage of her dominating position now and tells Tyf that nothing could be more pleasing to see her "Gang banged by a gaggle of quacking duckmen!!!!" Yes folks! Not just a couple, but a GAGGLE of quacking duckmen! Tyffany says that this would be a pleasurable experience and (drum roll, please) on come THE DUCKMEN! It's the same four as before (Tedeschi, Wallice, Thomas & Jammer) but these costumes are wild, and the quacking noises they make are amazing! They begin by tickling Tyf (dressed as Mother Goose, no less!) with their duck feathers before breaking into the gang bang itself, which runs much more smoothly than the Crystal one because this time, some of the guys move on to Crystal while Tyffany is busy. This scene is perhaps the best in the film, because not only does it deliver some really sizzling sex but it also made me laugh 'til I nearly cried. Crystal gets analed by Terry Thomas, Tyffany looks about a million times better than her recent appearances (She actually looks really attractive, which surprised me) and the scene is just GREAT! Again, it's better to see than to read about. The cumshots are all over Tyf's body, and Cody O'Conner is wheeled in to lick it up. This is a bit sad really. She looks a mess and when you consider that the only role she could land was "Chief cum-licker" then you have to feel sorry for her. She probably had to beg Dark just for that role. Poor girl...
I'm afraid I can't tell you what happens next, as it will ruin the film. The final (nonsex) scenes are fantastic and they build up the tension to the final sex sequence very nicely. I haven't mentioned it yet but the acting in this film is truly ashtonishing. These people (Crystal, Tyf, Jon & Rocco) are really good at acting. You wouldn't think you were watching a porn film. Tyf, especially, delivers her lines with great gusto and even Rocco's accent (which usually hampers his acting) doesn't get in the way. Hats off to the lot of them. Anyway, the plot gets complex yet thrilling around here and the final sex scene is a 2-couple side-by-side screw with Jon/Tyf and Rocco/Crystal. Rocco and Crystal don't do as well as their previous scene (although the facial here is much better with one shot landing straight between the eyes) but Jon and Tyffany go through some weird positions including Rev-cowgirl and SIDEWAYS COWGIRL (!), as well as some kind of "airplane" position where Tyf is bent over in the shape of an airplane (I know this sounds odd) while Jon screws her from behind. Anyhow, this one ends in a butt cumshot and then we get the conclusion of the plot which wraps things up real nicely. The last twenty minutes or so of the plot in this film work so well it's unbelievable...
Anyhow, overall I loved this film. The acting was super, the script amazing (esp at the end) and it played more like an erotic comedy thriller than a porn flick. Also, speaking of erotic comedy thrillers there were more than a few throes to "Exit To Eden", the recent mainstream film with Dan Aykroyd and friends, which were explored much better here than in that hunk of shite. The interesting thing about this film was that, unlike the previous two NWH films, this one explored deeper the ramifications behind having females as robots and therefore was less misogynistic than expected. In the end, the three main characters have fell in love with Crystal and want her back to normal, but of course she's too far gone to change, which puts a more realistic angle on to the New Wave Hooker idea whereas in 1 & 2 it just served as being the "ultimate male fantasy" (ie woman as robotic sex slave). It's obvious that in real life, eventually man would tire of the robots and want his real woman back, as Frank Baxter does in this film. In the first two, the "hookers" were treated as objects, whereas here they have a slightly more "humane" portrayal... (still doesn't make it a "couples" movie, mind)
The grade? Well, during the credits I was worried I would have to give this a bad grade as the truly grotesque Leanna Foxxx was featured very prominently, but thank God, she barely even appeared in this film (she was one the "ornaments" lazing around the "Deep House" along with some other anonymous girls), therefore allowing me to give it a good grade (Anything with Leanna in it too much gets downed by at least a 1.00). I'll give a 3.55 on the Imperial Scale. It's funny, thrilling, sexy and very well made. Greg Dark is the King of Porn. It's official....
Happy viewing!