Lust At First Bite

From: Taylor ([email protected])
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: Review: LUST AT FIRST BITE
Date: Tue, 11 Mar 97 17:19:58
Organization: Hampden-Sydney College

***************************Lust at First Bite***************************

Overall:  This was truly a great movie.  I'd seen it many, many years
ago as my introduction to adult films, and so when I ordered it from
Excalibur I wasn't sure whether I'd get a good movie or a
disappointment.  But I can honestly say that I was surprised,
pleasantly, by this movie, by its excellent and often humorous plot and
its good production values, as well as by the scorching sex which comes
in every flavour--from lovemaking to rape to necrophilia to incest to a
mental patient who thinks she is, and dresses like she is, eight years
old.  Not that it's a regular kink-fest, but let's just say that the sex
is interesting--and the stars are the best: Annette Haven and Seka are
enough for me anyday, but it has a host of others.  Now, there are two
places where there have definitely been edits from the original version,
but I think these are relatively minor considering all that's untouched,
and all that's untouched is proof enough that these are probably the
only segments which were cut.  The two segments are scenes where Dracula
urinates on first Seka and then a nurse--the pissing itself is removed,
but we can clearly see the aftermath when the cuts are over.  There
*may* be a third cut, in scene 5--I'm not sure, but I'm thinking there
may have been since there is a bit too much plot material here, and
there is a good opportunity presented for a scene with Renfield,
Dracula, and the maid, which just doesn't happen; I don't know. 
However, since there's so much rape and little-girl-themed sex left, and
even necrophilia, I doubt anything else has been touched--at least in
the copy I just bought from Excalibur, which was manufactured sometime
before 1995 since the "made before 1995" statement isn't there.  It's
also a very funny film--the constant announcements over the sanatarium's
intercom about enamas, escapees, and other things are just hilarious. 
But anyway, it is a fantastic example of Golden Age cinema, and
extremely entertaining, and I unashamedly rate it 3.75 on the Imperial
Scale.

Title:   Lust at First Bite
Year:   1978
Distributor:   VCA
Starring:   Annette Haven, Seka, Serena, Kay Parker, Nancy Hoffman, John
Holmes, John Leslie, Jamie Gillis, Paul Thomas, Bill Margold, Mike
Ranger, Pat Manning
Directed By:  H.M.S.
Written By:  Bill Margold
Running Time:   81 minutes
Themes:   vampires, little girls, rape, incest, necrophilia
Rating:   3.75 on the Imperial Scale

1)  Dracula introduces his tongue to Annette Haven's lovely pussy as
sensuous music plays in the background, and Annette begins to suck him
off when a voice begins addressing us and asks, "Where does reality
start and dream stop?"  [Short intro sequence, finished at the end of
the film.]

2)  Plot scenes at the sanatarium where Renfield is being held and where
guests have just arrived, several non-sex segments, then the orderly
goes to check on a female patient and rapes her doggy as she yells "No,
no! please, no!" and looks, at first, in pain.  The orderly eats an
apply while he's raping her, tosses it in the air a few times, says
things like "How you like them apples, bitch!"--and then crushes the
apple in his hand and smears it into her back as he cums on her
asscheek.

3)  Guests are shown through the mental ward, and "Baby Jane" is pointed
out--"In here, she's eight years old."  She's also dressed in a girlie,
lacey white dress with pink ribbons and bows in her hair, really looks
the part, and is blowing a cowboy.  She gets doggied to the 1812
Overture, and this scene, though brief, is beautiful, and her facial
expressions as she leans over the saddle and gets ridden are simply
darling.  The doctor mentions that all the patients seem to have lesions
of an odd sort...

4)  "Lucy" is walking with her fiance outside, and they talk about how
much they love each other.  Awww.  :-)  Then she gives him an open-air
BJ while inside "Mina" (Annette Haven) and a black guy sing "Swing Low,
Sweet Chariot"--a strangely sexy, funny song to play in such a
situation.  Then Bolero kicks in for the remainder of the BJ, but
unfortunately she jerks him off at the end.  Darn.

5)  "Professor von Helsing"--yes, we all know the story--suggests that a
vampire is causing the lesions.  Then, in Renfield's dungeon cell,
Dracula appears to the tune of "Thus Spake Zarathustra."  More plot
scenes culminating in Dracula and two female vamps coming out of coffins
that night to "Pomp and Circumstance"--the blonde one grabs some guy,
blows him, fucks him cowgirl, and all the time makes comments like "Make
that goddamned thing bigger!  200 years I've waited and this is all I
get!"  It's makes me want to bust a gut as well as a nut...

6)  Dracula visits the evening staff party and they talk as the maid is
eaten out on a pool table by John Holmes.  She gets fucked doggy on the
pool table, then mish--and she has HUGE nipples; normal breasts, normal
areolas, but huge nipples.  The scene is finished later, in 7.

7)  As Lucy takes a pee on the toilet, Dracula comes in and puts her
under his spell--here, a scene of him pissing on her chest is cut, but
just after that we see the results on her face, neck, and the yellow
clingy nightgown which her rips from her chest.  He then jerks off on
her, some into her mouth, and leaves her there with a bloody bite-mark
on her breast.  A silly scene since he only jerked off, but it's part of
the plot as we see later, and probably would have been more arousing
with the peeing intact.  Oh well--but not a big loss, because now we get
back to Holmes fucking the maid.  More mish, then cocksucking to the
tune of "The Beautiful Blue Danube"--climaxing with a beautifully messy
facial all over her, with more sucking after he cums.

8)  A bat flies around, then we see Dracula kissing a sleeping Annette
Haven.  The next day she feels "drained," and the chauffer finds Lucy in
a coffin in the basement and comes screaming back like the black
chauffers in old Abbot & Costello movies did.  Her fiance is dispatched
to put a stake through her heart, but can't do it before he fucks her
one last time.  Brief mish in the coffin as "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot"
is repeated, and he flashes back to the BJ he had earlier, then he cums
on her belly.  Professor von Helsing and the others examine her body,
noting the bite on her breast.

9)  Haven breaks it off with her fiance, and he goes outside and runs
into a blonde nurse.  They talk about it, he says "Can you imagine what
it was like to be engaged to a virgin for three years?"--and she
comforts him by blowing him in the back of a 1930s sedan, RC, doggy,
chauffer peeks in through the window.  No cumshot.  Just then--

10)  Baby Jane escapes, and a female vamp calls "Oh Baby Jane!  Come
here..."  lesbian scene on lawn as the blonde vamp-girl eats Baby Jane
out and plays with her pussy.

11)  The sanatarium owner watches from his office, and complains to his
sister that they're going to lose everything they've worked for.  She
looks kind of like Rita Rudner, only prettier.  She quiets him by
stripping for him, blowing him, letting him screw her doggy and then cum
on her tits, all the time talking dirty about their incest.

12)  The Count comes over that night, and goes with the nurse to give
blood for Haven's transfusion.  As they leave, he mesmerizes her, strips
her, lays her flat on the table, then we have another pissing scene
clipped and see the urine all over her chest as Dracula jerks off all
over her, making animal dog-like growls the whole time, as before.

13)  More plot scenes as Dracula is finally revealed to be a vampire. 
Another blonde nurse visits John Holmes, cuffed to a bed, who recounts
how the maid bit him and shows us the bite marks on his penis.  She has
compassion and lets him loose, and then for her kindness is forced down
and stripped.  Holmes eats her out--quite literally--as she struggles,
and when he fucks her mish blood trickles down her belly from her
pussy.  Then he rapes her doggy as she looks in pain--I would be too if
someone were fucking me after biting my gentials--then makes her suck
him off, with another monster facial to end it.

14)  Annette Haven and her ex-fiance are outside at night talking as von
Helsing and Dracula argue inside.  Then we see a bat fly out of the
window and mesmerize Haven--the ex-fiance seizes the opportunity to hike
up her dress and play with her pussy, licking her while she's got a
catatonic grin on her face, until Dracula changes to human form, puts
him in a trance, throws his cape around him, and ???  Something horrid,
I'm sure.  Just then it comes back to the scene we began the movie with,
with Dracula and Annette making out in the celler, then have sex on a
coffin doggy, mish, then the voiceover returns and tells us about
Dracula finding at last his eternal queen, though we mere mortals must
be content with our one-night stands.  The credits roll, and finis.