A License To Thrill

Date sent:        Sat, 1 Mar 1997 16:06:51 -0500 (EST)
From:             Joey Markham ([email protected])
Subject:          REVIEW: "A License To Thrill" 


*This video presents itself as "the new Jane Bond adventure".  I don't
know the order of the series, but you won't need to have seen any of the
other parts to follow this one closely (for those of you who involve 
yourselves in storylines - then again, this is porn). 


A LICENSE TO THRILL
director: Jack Remy.   Vidco, 1985.
cast: Heather Wayne, Kari Foxx, Chanel Price (=Chanel), Tami White, Athena
 Star, Steve Drake, Tony El-ay, Dan T. Mann.
running time: 73 minutes.

sex scenes:
- Heather Wayne, Dan T. Mann
- Chanel Price, Athena Star, Tony El-ay
- Kari Foxx, Steve Drake
- Tami White, Tony El-ay
- Chanel Price, Tami White
- Heather Wayne, Steve Drake


We open up on our heroine, Jane Bond (Heather Wayne), laying out on a bed
wearing very skimpy lingerie (and looking quite sexy!).  Her bedroom door
opens and a guy (Dan T. Mann) wanders in wearing black clothing, a black
leather jacket, black hat, gloves, and carrying a gun.  Too late, Jane
opens her eyes at the sound of the floor creaking but continues to lay
there as if asleep.  Once he makes his way over to the bed, he sits down
and gently rubs his gun (no, not THAT one - well, not yet anyways) on her
side and tells her to wake up because he has some questions for her.  She
rolls over, pretends she's waking up then is shocked to see him.  "Who
are you?  What do you want?" she asks.  He says (with an attempted accent;
Russian or French or Swahili for that matter, I don't know - all I can say
is that it's as fake as that toy gun he's carrying) that his name is Ivan
(get ready for this) Cut-your-cox-off (hmm.. you don't suppose Lorena 
Bobbitt saw this movie and was inspired by the name, do you?).  Anyhow, 
he's a KGB lieutenant and what he wants to know is information as to where
Dr.Yes is holding prisoner the princess of Mahai.  His informants told him
that she has the information he's looking for (and he thinks Jane's a 
reporter of some kind).  She sits there still then Ivan pulls out a pair
of handcuffs from his jacket and hands them over to her.  He says, "Now
slip these on, my little dove, so that I may proceed with my enlightenment!"
She looks at them then after a brief moment of silence asks, "And if I 
don't feel like talking?"  His immediate reply is, "Barbaric torture!!"
She grins and says, "Oh goody!"  Confused, he asks, "What means this 
'goody'?"  "I mean," she says, "to soften me up!  Wouldn't you wanna.. fuck
my mouth while.. squeezing my soft breasts?"  Falling for her tender charms
he says, "Ah yes, that is good suggestion."  Grabbing the handcuffs and 
tossing them aside she says, "You can just forget about these hand 
restraints, honey.  Cuz when it comes to interrogation, I like to get a
helping hand."  Then she grabs his crotch.  She continues, "And if you
fuck as good as you look, I'll tell you more on what you're looking for."
Completely taken in by her seductive manner, her thin shoulder straps come
down and he reaches for her breasts to suck on.  Once she lays herself
down, he gets up to undress then hops the sack to join her again.

- Heather starts to work her hungry mouth slowly over Dan's uncut cock.
Heather Wayne is a very pretty lady who has that sort-of 'balls to the wall'
approach.  She's not exactly the wildest girl, but there are hints of a
lewd personality lurking below the surface of her innocent, yet naughty, 
appeal.  After the sensual blowjob, Dan has her lay on her back and they
do it in the missionary position.  We don't really get a close shot of her
pussy, the most you can see is that it's quite hairy.  A doggie follows and
Dan starts giving it to the horny nymphette faster and faster, having her
say she loves nasty boys like him.  Next she tells him she wants to ride him
and 'be on top' so they do a cowgirl.  To end the scene, Dan pulls out and
cums in between the crack of her ass, with Heather smearing most of it
around.  

As Jane slips Ivan's now-limp dick back inside her pussy, he exclaims, "Oh
God!  What an experience!"  He suddenly can't move and asks her what she's
done to his penis.  She sneers at him and replies, "You mean as in 'miserable
prick'?  I've attached the walls of my vagina around it.  Those muscles have
been trained from childhood.  You'll never get away unless you want it pulled
out at the roots."  "You're not a journalist!" he says.  "That's just your
cover.  Who are you?"  "Bond," she tells him, delivering the famous line.
"Jane Bond.  Double-O sixty-nine.  License to thrill.  Now, Ivan.. let's
you and I talk about the princess.  MY questions this time!"  He still 
struggles underneath her, but knows he has to give in.  And so begins their
quest to track down the princess and rescue her.

Over at the headquarters of Dr.Yes (Tony El-ay).  Standing in one of the
rooms seemingly hopeless, he says, "I really don't know how the princess has
managed to hold out as long as she has.  I mean, I've given her the treatment
for four days in a row!  And still nothing!  I mean, usually.. one day's
treatment is enough to produce.. something like this!"  He points to 
Pussyfinger (Chanel Price), whom he was talking to and who's having her
pussy licked by one of their sex slaves (Athena Star).  As far as the 
whereabouts of the princess are concerned, Pussyfinger wonders if Jane Bond
knows where they're hiding her.  Dr.Yes isn't worried about it because he's
hired one of the most dangerous studs in the entire Western Hemisphere to
attack Jane with one of her own weaknesses instead of killing her - her love
of raw sex.  "And thus," he says, "she'll become our slave."  Watching 
Pussyfinger enjoy her slave's company all to herself Dr.Yes asks if she's
ever thought of sharing.  She grins and gives in to his suggestion.  "Ok 
doc," she smiles.  "Let's see who can make you cum first!"

- Athena Star's a thin blonde, sort of waif-like, but not a real eye-catcher.
Chanel Price, on the other hand, has a distinct way about her.  Her shoulder
length blonde hair looks as teased as a wig (is it?), but she has a gorgeous 
face and somewhat hypnotic eyes.  Another thing one picks up on is her deep
voice (a little deeper than Jeanna Fine's) that almost doesn't suit her
overall 'look'.  As for her boobs, they're big and they move around.. but
there's something odd-looking about them (are they real?).  Things kick off
with a blowjob from both girls.  Neither one works more than 2-3 inches of 
Tony's black dick into their mouths, but he seems to enjoy it nonetheless.
At one point, while Athena's sucking him off, Tony looks at Chanel and says,
"We must mass-produce these."  "Good idea," she smiles.  Then Athena does a
reverse-cowgirl.  Afterwards, Chanel sits back with Athena climbing on top of
her (as if in the cowgirl position) and Tony goes behind them, taking turns 
in each of their pussies.  Then Athena climbs off with the other two still 
going at it (and Chanel has a very nicely trimmed pussy!).  A disappointing
cumshot follows, Tony spurts one load (maybe a second one, I don't know) on 
Chanel's belly.

Somehow, Ivan manages to get Jane Bond and himself into the headquarters
of Dr.Yes (at least I think this is the same building where they've stashed
the princess).  Once inside, they split up.  In one of the rooms, we see
the princess of Mahai (Kari Foxx) tied down to a bed and hooked up to some
machine.  Our princess-in-distress is crying out for help and eventually,
Jane stumbles upon the room.  Once the princess spots her she says, "Oh thank
God!  Please untie me!  Those monsters.. they're trying to destroy my mind!"
So Jane makes her way over to the bed but seconds later, Dr.Yes and 
Pussyfinger show up.  He grins and informs the princess that they're not
really trying to destroy her mind.  Pussyfinger says, "Actually, we're
trying to turn the princess into a sexual plaything with Dr.Yes's 
'Nymphomania Maker'."  "Yes," he agrees.  "With just a few more applications,
our dear little princess will become the disgrace in the entire royal family
of Mahai."  As for Jane, he plans to further her education real soon.  "Why
not put her on the Nympho machine now?" asks Pussyfinger.  Dr.Yes looks at 
his accomplice and says, "Fool!  Jane Bond on my machine??  She'd short 
circuit it in a minute!" (I have to agree with him there).  So they end up
tying her to the bed alongside the princess.  Moments/hours later, a man 
(Steve Drake) sneaks into the room and spots the two ladies.  After untying 
Jane, he tells her he's a secret agent from Section X (whatever that is).  
"I have to untie the princess," he says.  Turned on by him, Jane suggests he
untie her clothes but under the present circumstances she tells him to hold
that thought while she sneaks around the place to see what Dr.Yes and 
Pussyfinger are up to.  Alone with the princess, he begins to untie one of 
her wrist buckles but she stops him.  "No, no!  Leave them on!" she says. 
Rubbing her free hand on his face she continues, "I want you to fuck me with
me tied up and I won't be able to do anything about it."  He says, "I'm sorry
but as a member of a law enforcement agency, I'm sworn to eliminate bondage!"
"What about fucking?"  "Well," he smiles.  "We do a lot of that!"  So he
undresses then dives for her muff.

- Lapping away at Kari's pussy, Steve tells her it tastes so good.  "Bon
appetit!" she says, then he calls it the 'royal pussy' and she laughs.  "You
should come to my rescue more often," she moans.  Suddenly, she can't take
having one of her wrists tied to the bed anymore and tells him he mustn't
be cruel and that he should untie the bind (I thought she said she wanted
to be tied up and not able to do a thing about it??).  Once he loosens her
other wrist, she gives him head.  A mish follows (with Kari putting one
leg up on his shoulder) and she tells him that his wish is her command.
He lowers himself down and they continue in the spoon position and later
get into a doggy.  At this point, Kari's out-of-style hairdo looks even
worse from having lain down on the bed for so long (being flattened in
some parts making it look disheveled).  A few more minutes of hot humping
and Steve pulls out.  Kari jerks him off, but it mostly covers her hand.
After kissing he tells her, "You truly are a princess."  She smiles, "I 
just might make you my prince!"

We move to another bedroom where Dr.Yes is face-to-pussy with a woman (Tami
White) who appears to be one of his secret agents (or so she seems, more on
this soon).  "Now, don't you feel silly for screaming like that?" he asks.
"I'm sorry doctor," she replies.  "I thought you were going to rape me, when 
all you wanted to do was lick my pussy."  He continues licking her.

- Tami White, who later changed her name to Ariel Knight, is a pale-skinned
brunette (at least she was a brunette in this movie) with a baby's face,
moles all over her body, and a wanton sexual appetite that could start a
fire.  She has real boobs, but at one point (during doggy) it looks like
you can see a red line underneath her left breast.  After getting her 
(semi-bushy) pussy licked, they do a cowgirl (sans blowjob).  Tony then
sits up and starts sucking on her breasts and this drives Tami absolutely
wild.  Minutes later, Tony says he's cumming and pulls out.  His dick rubs
up between her asscheeks, but he doesn't cum (?).  Now they do a mish and
boy, that Tami is one hot tamale thrashing against him energetically (and
smiling, too!).  There's no cumshot, Tony just pulls out and lowers himself
down to taste her pussy some more.

Jane Bond rushes into the room and the woman wraps her legs around Dr.Yes's
head tightly, suffocating him with her pussy (which would be any dying man's
last wish I'm sure).  As soon as Jane cuffs him, the woman thanks her for
showing up and informs her she's a secret agent from Section X and that
she's been expecting her.  Then Jane tells her she already met another one
of their agents.  "What?  That's impossible!" the woman says.  "I'm the
only agent assigned to this case!"  Then Jane realizes the other person
was a fake and prepares to run off to save the princess but is stopped by
Pussyfinger with 'the stud' by her side.  "Just a slight change in your
plans, Jane Bond," she says, holding a gun.  "By the time this stud here
is finished with you, you'll be our complete sex slave.  As for the 
Imperialist secret agent, I intend to introduce her to Mad Max.  I hope
she screams a lot."

Moments later.  Pussyfinger has the secret agent tied to a bed (the same
one the princess was tied to earlier) and presents her with a double-headed
dildo.  Pussyfinger asks, "So?  What do you think of Max?"  "I have a
confession to make," she replies.  Then Pussyfinger says, "Once I'm 
finished with you, that's all you'll be doing.  Confessing."  "You don't
understand.  You see, I love dildos and vibrators.. and your mouth.. and
your fingers.."  "That's where I got my name."  "I can tell.."  Completely
turned on, Pussyfinger grins and unties the restraints around the agent's
wrists and says, "I don't think we'll be needing these."  "No," she agrees
with a smile.  Pussyfinger lubes up the dildo and asks, "You like that?"
"Mmm.. yes.  I'll like it even more when it's inside."  Then she lays back
and spreads her legs.

- Chanel starts by working the slick, pink dildo inside Tami's pussy gently,
sliding it in and out with ease.  Then Tami's energetic side comes out and
she thrashes about, working herself up to a manic frenzy.  "You're an 
animal, aren't you?" Chanel realizes (Tami's banshee-cries sound like your
typical scream-queen shriek fests but she's just so full of energy you'll
be absorbed into watching her buck around).  "I want you to join me," Tami
smiles and both of them get into the scissors position (and Chanel removes
Tami's bra first, exposing her perfect breasts for all of us to see).  At
one point, the cameraman walks over from one position to the other and the
director can be heard talking (note to the editor: pay more attention to
your work and leave bits like these on the cutting room floor!).  The girls
are enthusiastic throughout the scene, but it just ends abruptly (no fade
out, just cut to a black screen).  Sigh..

We switch over to Jane and the stud in another room.  "You know," he tells
her.  "Dr.Yes's machine couldn't touch the princess.  But I turned her into
a raving nympho in one session.  Guess what's in store for YOU?"  "Or," she
says, "what's in store for YOU."  She leans forward to kiss him then stands
up and begins to undress.  "Yeah," he smiles.  "Jane Bond.  My greatest
achievement!"

- After a slow striptease, Heather lays back on a couch to have her pussy
licked and fingered.  Moments later, she starts panting (almost as if
hyperventilating) and reaches what seems to be a genuinely mind-blowing
orgasm (hot!).  Steve definitely hit the right spot and then brings his
fingers to her mouth so she can taste her own juices.  He gets up and walks
over to her face and, staring at his cock dangling inches away, she asks,
"Is that a hint?"  Yes, it most certainly is and she takes him in her mouth,
looking up at him from time to time.  She even starts sucking his balls 
while reaching underneath herself to rub her pussy.  "Well, Stud," she
tells him.  "Show me what kind of stud you really are!"  They do a half-mish
(one leg up on his shoulder while he plows deep inside her) and she asks
him to spank her, getting him to prove what kind of a stud he is.  They
spoon it next, with a doggy that follows and there's dirty talk throughout.
You can definitely see the intensity brewing in Heather's body language,
and I wish she would've let loose much more than she did.  Steve asks her
to sit on top of him and she gets him to say please.  She tries to get him
to say 'pretty please' but he smiles and says, "Don't push it."  A hot
cowgirl follows that has Heather bouncing up and down rapidly.  "Let me cum,
I can't stand it anymore!" he moans.  "Then you'll be my sex slave?" she
asks.  "Yes, anything!  Just let me cum!!"  She goes down to jerk him off
and twirls her tongue around the tip of his cock after he shoots.

Jane and the stud check up on Pussyfinger and the secret agent (now, 
Pussyfinger's tied to the bed with the dildo stuffed in her mouth).  
Impressed, Jane asks how she did it.  The agent replies, "I guess I just
out-pussied her."  Then she eyes the stud and asks, "What about him?"
"Oh," Jane replies.  "He just finally met his 'snatch'!"  Then she looks
around and asks what happened to the princess.  The agent tells her she
left with Ivan to open up a bordello in Wyoming.  Hmm.. and where's Dr.Yes?
He just seems to have disappeared after his bout with Tami earlier and
there's no mention of him anymore.  Now Jane says she's hungry because all 
that sex gave her a big appetite.  She gets the stud to fetch breakfast, but
he only seems to be hungry for her and can't stop kissing her.  The end 
(huh??  Well, ok.. they had to wrap it up somehow.. but, I would have loved
to see Heather and Tami do a scene together - maybe even get into a threeway
with Steve.  But anyhow, I digress.)

This movie's film quality is excellent with clear, crisp color.  It doesn't
look as old as it really is (12 years!).  The only things that make this
movie look dated are the hairstyles of Kari Foxx and Tami White.  But
speaking of Tami, she is red-hot and burns up the screen.  Heather Wayne
is no slouch either and a confrontation between the two of them sexually
would have been quite a sight.  The sexual performances are good and the
acting pulled off well enough (well, Dan T. Mann could've lost the accent)
making for a fun-filled feature that suffers only from minor glitches
that are so commonly found in porno movies anyway.  Worth a look!


Joey Markham
[email protected]