From: [email protected]
Subject: REVIEW: Weekend At Farrahs
Date: Sat, 26 Jul 97 11:38:56
Organization: Netcom
... Weekend At Farrahs ...
Da Girls: Morgan Fairlane, Farrah, Liza Harper, Felicia
Da Guys: Steve Drake, Mike Horner, Joel Lawrence, Frank Backquid?
Directed & Produced: Cash Markman
Release Date: April 5, 1997 by Erotic Angel
Rating: 3.5 out of 4
Plot: A take-off on Weekend At Bernies. I have only seen about 5 minutes of the referred to straight movie, but that was enough for me. Sorta stupid and lame, but hey, that sounds like the majority of pornos I view, then why do I view pornos? (Morgan Fairlane drifts into my mind) Oh, I remember NOW why I view pornos..... :-) :-) :-)
Summary: I have seen two other Cash Markman videos and this is by far the best. At least he tries to adhere to some semblence of a plot. Problem with this video, the weekend isn't spent at Farrahs??? I guess she just has a boxcover presence which is appealing to guys, who will reach out and rent/buy this, because in reality, sexually speaking, she is tepid.
I rented this video for two reasons. One, Morgan Fairlane is in it!!!! Second, Farrah is going to dance at a club opening this fall in the Kansas City area, and I figured I would have a look-see to determine if its worth the hassle to see her. It might be coin flip time for that. sigh.... Aw shucks, I'm a perv. I'll be there to report from the "frontlines"!
Morgan Fairlane absolutely shines in this video. Sexually, she is heads and tail above the other girls, she has a "meaty" storyline, and the camera man must have an xxxtreme clit fetish, because this video has some of the better clitoris worshipping footage that I've seen in a long, long time. Why the camera man even let us view Liza Harpers' and Felicia's love-buttons. Hey, give that guy a RAISE! and a clit to snuggle up to!
Scene #1:
Mike Horner and Joel Lawrence are nerdy pizza delivery guys, delivering
to a well-off household. To much comedy for me about their nerdy
situation, I suggest major FF action until you happen upon......
In the upstairs bedroom of the household, we find Morgan Fairlane sitting cowgirled over Steve Drake's face. Of course Steve is licking Morgan's ample morsel and pussy lips. What an opening scene! Morgan just looks outrageous in a dom latex outfit. Black latex bra, heavy duty studded latex garter, black hose held up by the garter, and black shinhigh "fetish boots". I even think she had a lash laying on the bed! She is sporting the shortest blonde hair I've ever seen her in. Why is it that when women get married, they cut their lovely long tresses? Of course in Morgan's case she has an ulterior motive to her short hair style. She has said, that now, it doesn't get in the way when she's giving her patented blowjobs! What a considerate sweetheart! <g>
As I said, this scene has nice slow and easy clit licking/labia inhaling footage. The camera man had virtually all the action in focus. (I know, what a concept!) Steve Drake knows how to eat pussy, and Morgan is the woman to give it to him. Lo and behold, we cut to Morgan reaching into his boxers and fondling Steve's cock. They are paisley green boxers. I have a pair exactly like them...hey cool! (I know, I'm easily amused!)
Time for Morgan to get busy, they switch to a 69 position with Steve on the bottom. The first closeup of Morgan we see her slowly inhale Steve's tool, as in all the way. Oh my! Then when she's through, she gives us viewers this "witty smile"! What a babe! We switch to Steve ably eating her snatch from the bottom. Morgan has let her dark blonde bush grow above her clit. I like it! Nice tunnel shot from behind showing the action of Steve sucking on clittie, Morgan's luscious pointed banana shaped tits cascading down from her chest, and her mouth, pumping on his cock. Hmmm!
Change over to a RC with Morgan pumping Steve at 120 strokes a minute. Ask yourself, how long would you last at this pace!!! Of course with her wonderful natural tits, this pumping make them bounce and sway. Change over to a doggy puss, looks like Morgan has a new tattoo on her tailbone. A peach (I believe) with her name stenciled within it. Uhhh Morgan honey, could I tongue that peach for a few minutes, I mean hours to see if its "ripe". :-)
Position change to mish fuck, problem here and with some other Morgan videos is she gets carried away frigging herself. This greatly depresses "pervs" like me who want to view the labia and clit getting stroked. Morgan, touch lightly in the future, or frig hard, then spread your lips and let the camera view the "fruit of your labor".
Steve "Russians" her, very nice! This is hardly being done anymore in videos cause the Russian Technique doesn't lend itself to silly-cone, but with Morgan's natural 36C's there is no problem with Steve burying his cock deep within her cleavage, then cummming on her breasts!
Scene #2:
Steve and Morgan bask in their afterglow. Morgan is sweet enough to go
get him a cool drink. But what!!!, Morgan is slippin Stevie a "mickie".
He drinks the poison, and as he expires he inquires of Morgan who would
do such a thing to him. Nice banter between the two, and Steve croaks.
In the meantime, our two pizza nerdy dudes, Mike Horner and Joel Lawrence are at the doorstep. Morgan leaves the house, stops by the two guys, leans over in a short, black low cut dress, exposing her cleavage to the two nerds, takes a wiff of the pizza, then says to the boys, "You know this needs to be served HOT"! I think the boys understood what was HOT!
Still on their pizza delivery trek, they enter the house in their bumbling ways and find Stevie dead. Some comedy to FF through, then they decide to throw a party, cause they found Stevie's "blackbook" with the names Farrah, Felicia and Liza in it. They call the chicks and say there's a party at Stevie's house.
Scene #3:
The two nerds dress Stevie up, and put him in a lawn chaise by the pool.
Farrah, Felicia and Liza come along. The girls want to do Stevie, but
the nerds say Stevie is a "little-out-of-it". Felicia and Liza split
with Joel and its Farrah and Mike paired up. Farrah, to get Stevie
interested, strips. First off, Farrah has a swell body. She is long,
lean, and mean, pretty, but alas too much hardness in her silly-cones.
Such a waste. Anyway, Mike in his nerdiness, persuades her that Stevie
would like to watch her give him a blowjob. Farrah complies, but in the
cocksucking department she is tepid. Typical hand on cock, so not too
much goes into her mouth, and she keeps her eyes closed. She frigs her
puss a bit, but she's the kind of girl with zippo labia. Can anyone
identify the tattoo on her right tit and right shoulder? Horner plops on
her tits, I don't even know if she bothered to clean him off....sigh
I think her attitude was more along the lines of,,,"eewwwm, icky cumm!"
Scene #4:
Liza and Joel retire to the kitchen. Whatever happened to Felicia, I
don't know. <g> Liza Harper is a pure and simple, dreamy french fuck.
On her knees, she SUCKS Joel's cock. (Uhh Farrah, take note!) Like
Morgan Fairlane, Liza knows how to please a man, what with her eye
contact, deep sucking, flicking of the tongue, and occasional twisting
stroke of her hand. I find her eerily mystifying and gorgeous as well!
Position change, Joel boosts her up on the kitchen countertop, and goes "muff diving". Liza complies by spreading her hips and wrapping her legs around his upper back. Then our friend the camera man takes a long time showing Joel licking Liza's clit hood, even showing us the clit as it grows from her hood. Oh my!
After a good licking, he enters her mish, we get a nice shot of her upraised ass, showing that lovely puckered asshole of hers, but boys and girls, no anal today...sigh. Change to a dogg/puss with her legs on the floor and her arms laid ontop the countertop. Of course, Joel pounds her like he's never had sex before, making Liza's 34B's dance to the music. As he starts to cumm, Liza dismounts, gets her ass back up on the countertop and Joel plops his load on her spread pussy. mmm, mmm, good!
Scene #5:
The 3 girls are back poolside with the two nerds and Stevie. They still
want Stevie to party, but the nerds show that Stevie is still out of it.
The girls split to party at a neighbors house.
Farrah, Felicia and Liza are in swimsuits, lounging with their legs in a pool. In the pool, is Stevie's neighbor, some fat asshole, with a hairier back than mine, floating on inflatables with a snorkel in his mouth. I guess he was the "comic relief" ???
Anyway, the girls barely pay him any attention, and they ensue to a g/g/g. You can only imagine how turned-on Felicia gets having two girls to work with..<g> Nice slow, playfull removal of their swimsuits, tittie licking, kissing,,, they are doing it overlooking the LA skyline. Some nice imagery of the girls, taking their legs, wetting them, then letting the water drip slowly off their toes, onto the backs of the girls eating them out. (As I said, I am easily amused!)
They sit just above water and dildo fuck themselves. That damn Felicia, takes her free hand and power fucks Farrah, and Farrah likes it. I think Farrah, like Felicia, would much rather do girls, than guys. Thats ok with me, just put your heart into it, sweetie!
Now our camera man gives us a unique perspective. He puts the camera just under the waterline and we see the girls frigging themselves from under the water. I liked the imagery,,,premo idea!!! They stand up in the pool, turn their asses to the camera and frig themselves from behind. Felicia was really getting hot, and her lil 34 B/C titties were bouncing everywhere.
The girls bask in their afterglow poolside with the asshole neighbor still in the water. Morgan Fairlane happens by, to tell neighbor that she killed Stevie as per his wishes. The clueless girls tell them no, they had just "partied" with Stevie. Morgan and neighbor go to Stevie's and investigate.
Scene #6:
Morgan and neighbor find the two nerds in the house. Neighbor takes Joel
at gunpoint and the two leave to find Stevie? That leaves Morgan
Fairlane dressed in this sexy black tight dress, with a polka-dot long
scarf wrapped around her! What a sight for sore eyes!
She makes two drinks and puts poison in one. Mike Horner in his nerdy way knows this and pleads for his life. I guess Morgan felt sorry for him and slowly strips in a dom manner to give him "his last fuck". (I know thats HOW I want to leave this veil of tears...<g>)
Anyway, naked and lying back on a sofa, Morgan points to her ample twat and asks the nerdy Mike, "You ever see one of these in "daylight" before!!!" ROFL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Morgan, you are mean spirited!
In a playful dom mood, Morgan instructs Mike how to properly eat her pussy by slowly sucking on his index finger,,,mmmmmmmmmmmm! Mike goes down on her, and she smiles and coos, "My, You are a Quick Study!" ROFL again. Morgan seemed like she was having a hell of a time! Now our beloved camera man kicks in and gives us some breathtaking footage of Mike slowly savoring Morgan's love-button. I bet the editors had a "joy" putting this one together! And Morgan was ever so appreciative.
Position change, Mike stands up from eating pussy and the damn guy is like totally soft. Man, where is your head!!! Morgan soon has his entire cock down her throat, and from her eye contact and sly smiling, you know she is digging it! Is there a better actress in porn today than Morgan Fairlane?
Many position changes, a RC with her 120 pumps per minute. What a way to spend you last minutes on earth! They end with a mish fuck, with Morgan pulling her lips back exposing her clit as her twat is getting powerfucked. Camera dude,,, you and Morgan are a NASTY duo!
Mike cumms on her tummy. At this time neighbor and Joel return, I guess they found Stevie's body. By now Mike is laying back on the sofa, Morgan is straddling him, pulling his chest hairs, one by one, saying... "Kill him, Kill him not, Kill him, Kill him not!".... ROFL!
She makes the two nerds drink the poison?, and Morgan drinks from another glass. The two boys woe about their situation. Morgan and neighbor split.
Then,,, eeeh gads, the damn tape stops. I was previewing this in a movie booth at an adult bookstore. I, uhh, emm, had to get clothed, (you see it was really hot, its been 100 degrees in Kansas City this past week, and I guess I just wanted to get comfy watching Morgan...<g> I know you all needed me to share this with you's!!!!)
Anyway, I stepped up to the counter where the female clerk, about 35, a little worse for "wear and tear" was working. I told her the tape had stopped and inquired if she could get it back up and going. I guess she felt sorry for me,,, so she did her best to let this "perv" see the end of the video, so I could complete my review. Actually, she was a sweetheart, I told her the video was kinda funny and was a take-off on Weekend At Bernies. As she was screwing with the VCR, my mind started to drift off about what was under her black skirt, butttt, I shook it off, I had a "mission from RAME" to complete this review. As she was jacking with the VCR, she told me she got a friend of hers, Edward Penishands, another porno spoof, hey cool, maybe someday we can share notes...<g> Video working now, I got busy....
Seems as though the two nerds didn't kick the bucket; they assess their situation, they had Stevie's house, his assets, and better yet,,,his little black book. Mike smiles and says to us, "this has sequel written all over it"...<g>
... FIN ...