Go Ahead... Eat Me!

Date sent:        Mon, 14 Oct 1996 10:16:03 -0400 (EDT)
From:             Joey Markham 
Subject:          REVIEW: "Go Ahead... Eat Me!" 



There's nothing kinky about Kinky World Productions.  Actually, there isn't
much to say about this low-rate company at all.  From what I've seen, they
make videos with very poor quality and while they do make their box covers
nice looking (but isn't that what most porno movie companies often excel at?)
they screw up some of the credits (both on the box and in the movie).  It
can't be too hard to put a little more time and effort into making a video,
but when you see the sloppy editing and shaky camerawork you'll realize this
company doesn't care about quality but rather, hitting the adult movie market
with a flurry of wall-to-wallers that probably take a day each to make.


GO AHEAD... EAT ME!
no director credited.   Kinky World Productions, 1995.
cast: J.R. Carrington, Kylie Ireland, Kitty Yung, Tess Newheart, Shelby
  Stevens, David Hardman, Mike Horner, Tom Byron, Ian Daniels.
running time: 71 minutes

scenes:
- J.R. Carrington (anal), David Hardman
- Kylie Ireland, Mike Horner
- Kylie Ireland, Kitty Yung
- Tess Newheart, Tom Byron
- Kylie Ireland, Shelby Stevens, Ian Daniels


J.R. (looking nice in an orange string bikini) is relaxing out by a pool with
her boyfriend (David Hardman) watching nearby.  She approaches him and they
embrace.  He asks her how long they've been going out for and she figures 
about a year, a year and a half.  He tells her they've had so much sex but
he never fucked her in the ass.  She says she's never tried it before and
just the thought of it makes her nervous (yeah right - J.R. Carrington?  One
of porn's queens of anal sex? :-).  She gives in and tells him he has to be
gentle with her, then she proceeds by giving him head.  They take it inside
after and get even more comfortable.

- They both get comfortable in a living room as J.R. continues to give head.
She does it quite slowly, even deep throating David a few times.  They kiss,
she takes off her bikini and they do a 69.  J.R. gets a little nasty, sucking
his balls and tonguing his ass, but they get back into the same old routine
starting with a cowgirl.  After a while, David tells her "oh baby, I'm gonna
cum!" but then he looks off-camera and tells someone (director, cameraman,
whoever) "I'm gonna cum twice.  Starting right here on her back".  Then the
cameraman says "ok, let me get in" and he moves forward.  A minute later, 
David pulls out and cums on her ass.  Then he sticks it back in and J.R.
continues riding him (David still remains quite the hard man).  Next, J.R.
lays her head on the ground and lifts her butt up on a cushioned seat while 
David plows into her pussy (which is nicely shaved).  Then they end up doing
a doggie, a mish, then back to doggie with slow anal insertion.  J.R. gets
a rather weak facial (well, this IS David's second cumming) with one shot on
her cheek and another in her mouth (which she swallows).  The sex here is
rather tame and both performers look a little tired.  J.R. often glances over
at the camera (probably wondering when they'll be wrapping up) and the 
amateurish way about the scene is annoying (shadows from off-camera crew
members, cameramen who can't keep still and performers talking to the 
director in the middle of the scene - well, that's the editor's fault for
leaving it in there).

Now we see Kylie Ireland masturbating on a blanket outdoors (this is the same
ranch-like area we see in a lot of videos - you know, the one with a lot of
grass, plants and trees, a long white fence and a few mountains in the 
background) when along comes Mike Horner, wearing nothing but a zorro-type
mask and riding a broom as if it were a horse (?!).  He stops right near her
and tosses the broom on the ground, aiding the damsel in distress (I'm sure
she became distressed AFTER he showed up).  Hmm.. but whatever, they just 
get into the sex. 

- Mike starts feeling her up and she asks with a smile, "Do you do this for
a living?".  Both performers are smiling and proving they're good sports,
even when paired up in such a horrible video.  Anyhow, Mike parts her bikini
bottom to the side and licks her pussy gently.  Then he says, "M'am, it's 
time to unsaddle you" and takes off her bikini bottom and continues getting
a taste of her pussy.  She really seems to like it as much as he seems to
like giving it.  He goes on his knees and Kylie begins to suck him off.  They
get into an enthusiastic doggie (Mike even pulls her hair back for a minute
or two) then they do a brief cowgirl.  Then she gives him a blowjob before
he pops his load on her face and sunglasses (which she wore the whole way
through).  "Well, thank you m'am", he tells her. "I have to get a move on.
Gotta get rid of some more evil-doers", then he takes off on his horse/broom.
Kylie delivers the famous line, "Who was that masked man?" and the scene 
ends.

The remaining sex scenes open up with no dialog, like a compilation tape.

- We open up on Kylie and Kitty Yung getting it on outdoors (on the same 
blanket in the same spot as the previous scene - but Kylie's wearing
something else).  Both girls are even wearing masks.  They kiss, suck and
play with eachother's fake breasts and Kylie rubs her nipple over Kitty's
pussy.  The only highlight is when they whip out the dildos and use them on
eachother.  They work eachother up and even make the next few minutes 
enjoyable to watch (to say the least).  But, as the well-known saying goes,
all good things must come to an end and then they finish the scene with a
kiss.  Sigh.. what a waste..

- Next, we are presented with Tess Newheart and Tom Byron (by the way, this
scene can also be found in Kinky World's other horrible production, "Crew
Sluts").  Tess, with her small chest and eager attitude, reminds me very much
of a young, pre-boob job Tera Heart.  Tess starts off by giving Tom a very
enthusiastic blowjob which last a few good minutes.  Then she lays back as
he sucks on her tiny tits then lowers himself further to suck on her pussy
(after sliding off her black laced panties).  They do a doggie on a couch
(with more crew members seen in the background through a door with windows..
sigh) and you can tell Tess wants it badly.  Tess loves talking dirty and at
one point it sounds like she screams out, "Yeah, Dan!".  Anyhow, she does a
hot cowgirl with Tom which is cut short by the screen going black for a few
seconds (?!).  When we are returned to regularly scheduled programming, Tess
and Tom are doing it missionary style as she begs for him to cum all over her
face.  He does and she really loves it.  While Tess brings the hottest 
performance to this video, she still can't save it by herself.  The color
sometimes goes bright (making them look pale) and that few seconds of staring
at a completely black screen really cuts down the heat that was quickly being
built between them.

- We've all heard of 'saving the best for last'.  The producers must have 
been listening with deaf ears because this is NOT the way to end a video.
What we have now is a boring threeway with Kylie, Shelby Stevens and long
haired rocker type Ian Daniels (oh yeah, this is another scene that can also
be found in "Crew Sluts").  They get into the usual doggie, missionary and
reverse cowgirl with the other girl touching herself or the others.  Shelby
is vocal and Kylie looks cute but it's just so boring.. I can't stand Ian
Daniels, so he didn't help matters any.  If you like watching girls share
cum, then you may like the ending when both girls jerk him off and kiss
eachother afterwards.

I hope Kinky World Productions does not continue to crank out videos like
this one.  Just about every technical aspect you can think of contributes
to this company's demise: the editing's sloppy, the camerawork is shaky, the
coloring is dull, the crew can be seen and heard, etc.  As for the performers
in this video, I can only think of one thing to ask the producers: Can you
say 'waste of resources'?  So, if you feel you'd still like to watch this
movie to see any of the lovely ladies featured in it then, go ahead... rent
this video.  But don't say I didn't warn you.


Joey Markham