Channel Blonde

Date sent:        Fri, 6 Sep 1996 00:05:22 -0400 (EDT)
From:             Joey Markham 
To:               [email protected]
Subject:          REVIEW: "Channel Blonde" 



CHANNEL BLONDE
director: Bud Lee, 1994.   Vivid.
cast: Kelly Jaye, Janine, Heather Lee, Isis Nile, Shelby Stevens, Randy West,
  Nick East (=Scott Turner), Buck Adams, Ian Daniels, D. Bober (nonsex).

rating: 1.00/4.00

scenes:
- Kelly Jaye, Nick East
- Heather Lee (anal), Buck Adams
- Isis Nile, Shelby Stevens, Ian Daniels
- Kelly Jaye, Janine
- Kelly Jaye, Randy West


* After the opening credits roll, it tells us to stay tuned after the feature
presentation for an exciting behind the scenes look at Vivid stars Kelly Jaye
and Janine.

The movie opens up with Jennifer Del Gotto (newcomer at the time Kelly Jaye)
confronting her lover/business partner Trevor (Nick East) who congratulates
her on becoming the first female president of an advertisement agency.  She
asks him about a certain account that he didn't bring up when they had dinner
earlier and he tells her he didn't want to mention it because he didn't want
to spoil her evening.  That particular account/project contained a few 
television commercials that all had to be re-shot because of their sexual
content.  At first they were each supposed to contain sexy scenarios, but 
Marco (the director of those commercials - played by D. Bober) went overboard
and decided to use real live sex to sell the products instead.  Jen becomes
stunned and Trevor tells her he'll take the blame for it all.  As he walks
away depressed, she stops him and tells him, "Trevor, don't go".  He slowly
heads back to her, lightly rubbing a finger on her stomach and smiles at her,
asking, "Do you believe in making angry love?".  She replies, "Is there any
other way?" and they kiss.

(SCENE 1): After kissing, Kelly and Nick hop onto a nearby bed.  She slowly
unbuttons his shirt and kisses his chest then climbs on top of his face as
he eats her.  She slowly opens her top and reveals her breasts (she has one
of the worst boobjobs I've ever seen - besides the noticeable scars, her
nipples seem to be higher up than average).  Then she climbs down to Nick's
chest again and lowers herself down to his crotch, licking his dick from the
outside of his pants.  When she gives him a blowjob, Nick seems to be the 
one pumping himself into her mouth (she has a weird way of giving head - she
just gets the head in her mouth and stays there, sometimes stroking his shaft
but appearing motionless most of the time.  Definitely not sensual, more like
aloof).  They fuck in the missionary and doggie positions and Kelly seems
to get into it becoming slightly vocal.  Nick cums on her ass to end things.

We now cut to Jen's office, the next day.  She calls her secretary, asking to
send Marco in and he enters soonafter.  When he sits down, she tells him she
wants to go over the commercials with him because they won't be able to air on
television for obvious reasons.  He tries to interject but she cuts him off,
scolding him and telling him he had a particular script he was supposed to work
with instead of doing his own thing.  She plays the first commercial (an ad for
for soap) that has a woman (Heather Lee) soaking in a bathtub who is joined by
a man (Buck Adams).  

(SCENE 2): They kiss a bit, then Buck sucks on Heather's big (fake) breasts.
Heather sits up on the edge of the tub letting Buck lick her pussy.  Then she
starts to lick her nipples, showing us her pierced tongue.  They switch places
after and Heather gives Buck a decent blowjob (with a pierced tongue, the
sensation must feel unique to say the least!).  They do a doggie, but Buck
is not his usual aggressive self.  Things actually start to heat up a bit,
but when Buck pulls out of her pussy and anals her, the heat level simmers
down again.  Buck pulls out and cums on her ass.

"I can't believe what I just saw", says Jen.  Marco tells her he liked it a
lot and that it's going to sell a lot of soap.  He mentions that a man named
Mr.Carlson (Randy West) even liked it (he's the guy who the commercials are 
being shot for).  Jen gets upset about it but Marco tells her the whole sex
thing was Mr.Carlson's idea.  Jen becomes shocked but Marco continues to talk
to her about the other commercials he's shot - one for a party line and the
other for a massage oil.  So what does Jen do?  She hits the 'play' button
and we now see three people (Isis Nile, Shelby Stevens and Ian Daniels) 
getting close to eachother and telling us about the party hotline and how
great it is and that we should give it a call.  Then they fuck.

(SCENE 3): They all fondle and kiss eachother, warming up.  Isis and Shelby
have both looked better and Ian.. he should get a haircut!  This isn't a very
attractive looking threeway.  They just get into the usual positions - doggie
and missionary with the extra girl staying close by to have her pussy licked
or her breasts sucked.  There are actually some heated moments but you'll be
hard pressed to sit through this whole scene watching Ian sway his hair around.
Shelby and Ian are doing a mish when he pulls out and Isis jerks him off on
Shelby's pussy.

"Are you sure Mr.Carlson ordered this?" Jen asks Marco.  He replies, "Why,
Miss Del Gotto, are you so turned on that you can't believe an old fart like
Mr.C's got such a vivid imagination?".  "Don't talk to me that way!  How dare
you!", she angrily says.  He apologizes and tells her that Mr.Carlson told him 
she'd react that way - being turned on from watching the commercials but not
willing to admit it.  Jen wonders what kind of game he's playing and Marco
says he's probably just trying to warm her up.  She excuses Marco and asks
him for a little discretion on his visit to her office.  She even tells him
she'll keep the tape and then he leaves.  Jen gives Mr.Carlson a call and
wonders if they can have dinner together that evening.  After setting up a
date, she hangs up and plays the third commercial (for a massage oil called
Intentions).  She imagines herself in it, laying out across a table while
another woman (Janine) comes around and applies the oil all over her body.

(SCENE 4): Janine sensually rubs oil all over Kelly's shoulders and back.
Kelly actually does look a little tense at first, then more relaxed once she
feels Janine's fingers working themselves up and down her body.  After a few
minutes, Janine lifts Kelly's butt up in the air and works her hand inside
Kelly's lace panties, which come sliding off slowly.  Janine squeezes more
oil from the tube and rubs it all over Kelly's asscheeks.  Once Kelly turns
over for a chest massage, Janine climbs on top of her and works a few fingers
in her pussy as they kiss and rub their breasts together.  She eventually
climbs down to suck on Kelly's pussy then they 69 it (each of them taking
turns being on top and on the bottom).  Kelly licks pussy as good as she
sucks cock (quite aloof) but Janine seems to hit orgasm two or three times,
seeming to enjoy it.  They sit upwards and kiss eachother, ending the scene.

"Oh, Mr.C," Jen smiles to herself after viewing the tape, "Boy, do you have
a surprise waiting for you tonight".

Later that night at Jen's place.  They've finished supper and are sitting
on her couch.  She tells him he's a naughty boy and that she's seen the
commercials.  She says he's got an active imagination.  He asks her if they
turned her on and she admits they did, especially the one for Intentions the
massage oil.  He was wondering why she really called him over there.  "What
are your intentions?" he asks her.  She replies, "I guess I wanted to see
if your imagination is as wild as your commercials".  He smiles and she grabs
his tie, bringing him closer to her and they start kissing.

(SCENE 5): After Kelly brings Randy closer to her, she lays back while he
tastes her.  Kelly starts to quiver at his tongue working on her pussy, but
when she returns the favor with a blowjob, the heat that has started to 
bubble at the surface fades away.  Even more so when she rides him cowgirl
style.  She just sits on top of him hardly moving an inch but she does manage
to ride him with more movement as the scene progresses.  Then they do a mish.
Randy shows her how it's really done and starts pounding away at her, making
her scream.  Kelly does not seem like the screamer-type at all, so these next
few minutes will keep your interest for sure (if you even manage to last this
long through the movie).  When Randy pulls out to cum, he gives her quite a
hefty load more than he normally produces, hitting her pussy and even getting
some on her tits and shoulder.

The next day.  Jen, Mr.Carlson and Marco are all in her office and she 
proudly tells Marco that the commercials he shot will be aired on Mr.Carlson's
new cable station - AOE (Adults Only Entertainment).  Joking around, Marco
asks, "What channel is that?  69?" and they all laugh.  The end.

*The behind the scenes look runs a little over 8 minutes and isn't really
exciting, but for those who like these kinds of clips it's interesting enough
to watch.  Director Bud Lee (complete with a moustache, a goatee and long,
shaggy hair) speaks to Kelly Jaye in the make-up room about her upcoming 
scene.  But first she asks, "Can you explain to me how this girl/girl thing
works?" (by the way, Kelly's hair is straight here - in the movie it was done
up and curly - and she looks quite stunning).  Bud fills her in on what role
she plays in the movie and what exactly is going on in the scene they're 
about to shoot.  Kelly appears to be a very sweet, soft-spoken person who
isn't hung up on her good looks.  It's too bad about her boobjob, though.
Anyhow, this brings us to another room where Bud speaks to both Kelly and
Janine (while the girls are eating pasta on paper plates).  Janine becomes
excited eventually and really wants to film the scene, so they go ahead with
it.  Nothing much happens - we just see a few crew members going around the
girls and Bud jumping in from time to time to instruct them on their 
positions and so on.  Later, he asks them if they had a good time and they
say they did, then Janine says she wants to be alone with Kelly and everyone
backs away.  Fade out.

As for the overall movie, the storyline for "Channel Blonde" makes about as 
much sense as one plus one equalling three.  Most of the performances were
pretty much forgettable, too.  The videography and editing were ok but the
sound seemed a bit low at times.  Watch this movie only if you REALLY want
to see any of the stars featured in it.  Other than that, your best bet, 
should this movie air on your local x-rated cable station, would be to change
the channel.


Joey Markham