From: hn (HN)
Subject: Review of "Bloopers"
Date: Mon, 04 Aug 97 04:53:20
Organization: None
"Bloopers"
Released by Video Team, 1994, approx. 1 hr. 15 min., directed by Wes Emerson.
This vid features lots of outtakes from adult vids and has 3 complete sex scenes. It's hosted by P.J. Sparxx and Jonathan Morgan. The two present the bloopers in segments pertaining to the qualities necessary to make it as a porn performer. I'm not a fan of either of them so I found them both pretty distracting and FF thru a lot of their banter. The segments and their respective highlights are as follows:
"Ability to Take Direction"
Steven St. Croix and a crewperson are wiping of PJ's bare feet. This made me think of the segment on pornstars and shoes from the FAQ.
Amber Lynn is told to take off her shoes (because they make too much noise) and she says, "Get fucked!"
"Enthusiasm"
Shots of performers making exaggerated faces for the cumshot.
One messy and nasty double facial on Crystal Wilder who spits it out (blech!)
"Creativity"
An actress unexpectedly begins lactating and decides to get it on tape (she's doing g/g and the other actress reels back, fearing she'll get an squirted in the eye).
Probably the funniest scene on the tape, Mike Horner is totally flaccid and is pretending to fuck Tiffany Million doggy. When they switch to standing side saddle, Mike is faux pumping furiously and you can see his flaccid willy flopping around. One of the crew yells, "Bad penis! Bad penis!" while the 2 performers crack up. They then show the complete scene as it was on the final video.
"Memory & Diction"
Lots of scenes w/ performers forgetting lines and giggling. Those I recognized were Peter North, Alex Jordan, Chris Newz, Tom Byron, PJ Sparxx, and Mike Horner.
They then show a complete scene w/ PJ, Mike, and some guy I didn't recognize. It takes place in a locker and seems to involve PJ getting something extra w/ her tennis lessons.
"Stamina"
An actress tells the director she can't take any more anal (in mish) and the director complies by stopping the scene.
Male performers popping too soon, popping zilch, and not being able to get it up.
"Grace and Agility"
They show Peter North popping one of his usual huge loads on a girl's butt while in cowgirl; all you see is the girl's ass and the huge load and one of the crew mutters, "All right! I want this guy's address, phone no., and...!"
PJ and another girl tumble off a chair while PJ is trying to stick one of her boobs into the girl's butthole.
Deidre Holland and Flame are in a 69 and Deidre (who's on the bottom) starts to spit. She smiles and says, "Got some hair on my tongue" to which Flame giggles, "I've got a lot down there."
They then show the complete lez scene between these two ladies.
The tape ends w/ outtakes from the hosting by PJ and Morgan. It starts off w/ Morgan's usual wisecracks and smug comments and degenerates into arguing--Morgan says to her, "I loathe you w/ every fiber of my body" and PJ smacks him at least 7 times (I stopped counting).
I didn't mention a lot of the outtakes since they were real brief. I couldn't identify any of the titles the outtakes were from and they weren't listed; I also couldn't identify a lot of the performers but you can find this info. at least at the DB. If you cut out the sex scenes (which really aren't worth seeing unless you're a diehard fan of the performers in'em) and the banter between PJ and Morgan, the bloopers were probably around 45 min. I posted a review of another blooper tape, "Boobs, Butts, and Bloopers" that's 15 min. shorter in running time but has more actual outtakes.