Anal Hanky Panky

From:             [email protected]
Date sent:        Sun, 1 Jun 1997 18:23:01 -0400
Subject:          REVIEW: Anal Hanky-Panky

Review: Anal Hanky-Panky
From: Rosebud
Starring: Randee Lee, Suzi Suzuki, Lynn, Lori Lust, Rain-ah, Jake Steed,
T.T. Boy, Tom Byron, Marc Wallice
Running time: 1:15
Rating: 2.5 out of 5
Directed by: Rex Borsky
Produced on: 4/18/97

        Randee Lee (Bj,F,A), Suzi Suzuki (Bj,F,A), Tom Byron
        Lynn (Bj,F,A), Marc Wallice
        Lori Lust (Bj,F,A), Rain-ah (Bj,F,A), Jake Steed
        Erica Lockett (Bj,F,A), Rain-ah (Bj,F,A), T.T. Boy, Jake Steed

        It's hard to imagine that Rosebud could mess up what's practically
their own formula. No muss, no fuss, just get together some women and some
men without erection problems and let them have at it, along with frequent
stops at Analville. Boom, fun for the whole family (at least the ones who
watch hardcore pornography).
        But a problem arises when you get three people in one 20-minute
scene, especially when two of them are women. If both of them are hot, then
you'll wish they both had more screen time. If only one is hot, you're
likely to feel cheated and wish the other wasn't there. If both only lie
back and think of England, then you'll feel like your time is wasted. If
you've gotta have three people, how about two men on one woman?
1:              Case in point is the first scene, with Japanese star Suzi
Suzuki and chemically-altered auburn brunette Randee Lee, who both
inexplicably seem to share the same trait of big, heavy, nearly-identical
black heels, the kind with six-inch heels (makes it a little confusing).
        They do the double blowjob thing with Tom Byron, switching off so
one can undress while the other slobs on the knob. Things very quickly get
to the point where Tom prepares to fuck Randee missionary while Suzi squats
over her face. This never works unless the two women are really into each
other, and, if the one getting fucked is really enjoying it, chances are
she won't eat the other one very well.
        Things quickly go from her eating Suzi a little to not at all, as
Tom Byron goes to town missionary, then on his side, then with them both on
their sides. The action here is okay, but only just. Suzi gets fingered and
then climbs on top of Byron to bounce up and down on his baloney pony,
enjoying herself thoroughly from the look of things. A little
self-fingering of the bum hole presages the missionary anal to come.
        He appears to cause her some slight discomfort at the start of the
anal, taking away from the momentum of heat that the scene had built up. It
quickly builds back up as Tom keeps at fucking her asshole, eventually
getting on his side again, and she eventually arrives at one of the few
orgasms of anybody in this video with a camera shot of her shaking foot.
        It's time to get into Randee's poop chute missionary. Suzi is over
her in something resembling a 69 position returning the favor of rubbing
her clit. I'll admit to being partial to Suzi, but Randee never seems to
gets beyond mild enjoyment, or even forbearance, before Tom pulls out and
jerks a small load out to drop on Suzi's tongue. IMHO, it's only
interesting if you've never seen an anal before or if you're a Suzi fan.
2:              Marc Wallice gets a shot at Thai newcomer Lynn, who has
long black hair almost like Suzi's, with a pleasingly large mouth, dark
nipples, and a large tattoo in place of pubic hair (an ugly idea, IMHO).
She sucks him hard while he lays on the bed, and there's the usual gradual
disrobing at the same time. Lynn seems not exactly thrilled to be there,
and she can't seem to stop looking at the camera. Not the best sign in the
world.
        She climbs on top of Wallice and the best talent most any woman
could have is revealed: the ability to make Wallice's cock look big. She
seems more enthusiastic after a minute or two, and the shot stays on her
asshole for a long while before circling around. She appears to climb up a
mini-orgasm peak, and we get to see her and Wallice in the foreground and
two starlets, apparently waiting for the next scene, masturbating in the
background. Then missionary, which she seems to like, before some
sidesaddle behind her, then back to missionary then doggie with her on her
stomach.
        She stays in this position for the anal, which goes on for a while
before he gets on his side behind her (what, have all porn studs suddenly
become lazy?). After a minute or two, they go into sort of a half-doggie,
with her halfway on her side, and it ends with a pullout to get a squeeze
shot on her face. Almost all of this scene is ho-hum, and the seconds of
passion are few and far in-between.
3:              Lori Lust, a semi-redhead with average natural breasts, and
Rain-ah, a pale-skinned young starlet with tiny, almost pre-pubescent
breasts, a shaved pussy (evidence that a shaved pussy does NOT look good on
everyone) and a tongue, belly-button and clit stud, go to work on Jake
Steed's cock and nipple. Some two-on-one ball and dick sucking. Rain-ah
sucks Lori while Lori sucks Jake, and her reward is that Jake stars to fuck
Lori first.
        What follows is languid, for a while. Rain-ah's legs are up in the
air while Jake does his thing, and Lori even licks his ass from behind a
little. There are some peaks and valleys, but it would be a mistake to say
that it ever gets hot. Then on her side, then some reverse cowgirl, sitting
and with her lying on top of him. Lori helps out by licking her clit (now
that's thinkin'!).
        Lori finally gets her turn, halfway into the thing, to ride that
pocket rocket. Rain-ah licks her ass and warms up Lori's ass with some
fingers. Jake mounts her missionary, for a while, then the two girls are in
a 69 while Jake puts it into Rain-ah's ass doggie. This doesn't last very
long as Lori disappears from under there. Her small, soft ass accentuates
Jake's pole sliding in and out, and he keeps at it for a while, before
doing it missionary, which gives her one of the other few orgasms in this
video.
        Cut to Lori taking Jake' now-condomed cock up her ass missionary.
She smiles but is otherwise fairly blase about it, and he cums on their
tongues while standing up with them kneeling. Ho-hum.
4:              Erica Lockett and Rain-ah start things off in the last
installment with some boring g/g action. I hate to unduly criticize someone
who may just be having a bad day, but she's got the boob job, she's got the
lip job, she's colored her hair, but she just doesn't seem to have any
oomph in pornos. Imagine Busty Belle from a few years ago, but with less
enthusiasm.
        They work on each other while disrobing, and Rain-Ah goes down on
Erica. Jake, who has been merely watching up to this point, comes and joins
them, and Erica slurps on his slob knob. Rain-ah climbs on top while Erica
sucks on his balls, then Rain-ah gets off, maybe with a sore pussy or maybe
she has to pee (she is sort of wincing and moving up and down), and Erica
clambers on to sit cowgirl, then reverse cowgirl. Then some missionary, and
T.T. Boy shows up, out of the blue, naked and raring to go. Maybe somebody
finally realized just how lacking this 2-girls-on-1-guy format could be.
        He bends her over immediately on the ends of the bed and commences
to start bumping, but Rain-ah doesn't seem to mind. Erica comes a little
bit alive, her very large fake boobies moving back and forth in direct
opposition to her. Rain-ah rides T.T. RC, and she gets into it more than in
the rest of this video. T.T. gets a hand around her throat and does a
little slam-fucking, which she does not seem to mind in the least.
        On the other couch, Jake gets into Erica's ass missionary. She was
living it, but it doesn't look like she was lovin' it. Rain-ah receives
T.T. in her ass while on her side, and rubs her pussy all the while.
        Jake has apparently come while the camera was away, and we see
Erica giving him a few after-fuck sucks. T.T. and his dick of steel pop
onto Rain-ah's open mouth, and we're audi.
        This video was okay. Just okay.

Reverend Lovejoy:   Don't worry, Homer, you can tell us anything.
Homer:                     The other day I was so desperate for a beer
                  that  I snuck into the football stadium
                  and ate the dirt under the bleachers.
Reverend Lovejoy:    I CAST THEE OUT!!!
                         "The Simpsons"