|
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
THE ANAL DIARY OF MISTY RAIN
Reviewed By Diesel
"Misty Rain's True Anal Stories" Dear Diary: The other day I got in the mail (from the good people at Adult DVD Empire) a disc that I've been waiting to get since I first learned how to load a DVD player (which, as it turns out, employs the same mechanical principles as a CD player): THE ANAL DIARY OF MISTY RAIN. After wishing for it for years, the dirty minded people over at Elegant Angel had finally succumbed to my letter writing campaigns and threat of a masturbation strike by releasing this 1993 title to the porn-loving public. As the title suggests, this Patrick Collins-directed video chronicles the sexual obsession of Misty Rain as she documents the sexual situations that unfold before her voyeuristic eyes. Naturally, since this is an "anal" diary (as opposed to the boring, old non-anal diaries written by us common folk), Misty's magical mystery tour coincidentally focuses on women getting penetrated via the backdoor. Sure, the plot doesn't quite match up to THE USUAL SUSPECTS, and the acting would not cause Meryl Streep to lose any sleep, but there is a natural chemistry among all the actors which make it more fun than a Chris Farley flick (rest in peace). Five sex scenes make up for the two and one-quarter hour running time, allowing the hardcore to be performed leisurely with a good time had by all. Kicking off the movie is a threesome with Bionca, CJ Bennett and Sean Michaels. If you have never seen Ms. Bruce Seven at work before, take a deep breath for some highly aggressive lesbian scenes, where orifices are penetrated with a pounding ferocity. Some of Bionca's best girl-girl work can be found in the BUTTSLAMMERS series and almost anything else directed by her late husband. Sean Michaels enters the picture for an interracial ménage a trois, which is hard and heavy, but not at all sensuous. This video isn't for couples viewing (unless you're watching it with Bridgette Kerkove...). Melanie Moore, slender blonde Vixxen (who pretty much came and went in adult industry, but has always given good performances) and Latina firecracker Alicia Rio also share a three-way, with no boys allowed. This scene was okay, but nothing which would make you might want to replay over and over again. Kim Chambers, who did good work with Asia Carrera in CUMBACK PUSSY SIXXX, gets the blood going again with TT Boy and Gerry Pike in yet another triple play of sucking and fucking. Never let it be said that this movie cheats on multiple partner sex scenes. However, fans who may become all Misty-eyed over Misty's lack of physical participation at this point should wait around for the next two scenes, which makes up for all her lost action time. Of course, Misty appears throughout the flick, but she really doesn't get much to do until the final scenes. Still, as a longtime fan, I was fairly content in simply staring at her supermodel thin body and cute, smiling face, even when she's doing nothing else but watching the others, and writing stuff down in her "anal diary." Misty never got the starlet spotlight she deserves, but this disc will hopefully attract new fans. But as fate would have it, Ms. Rain almost becomes completely upstaged by the sudden appearance of the fantastic Francesca Le, a hot and sexy Latina whom I've praised so often and so intensely in so many reviews and articles that my behavior borders on the obsessive (hence, the restraining order recently served on me from Extreme Associates, where she now works behind the camera). In any event, we are introduced to Ms. Le as we follow Misty attending an underground sex play featuring performers Rebecca Bardoux, Lana Sands, Tammi Ann, Marc Wallice, Alex Sanders and Rick Masters. Francesca Le tells Misty to get lost, but Little Misty sneaks into the theatre despite Ms. Le's stern admonishments. It seems natural to assume that PHANTOM OF THE OPERA or MISS SAIGON was also playing in town because the theatre seems to be nearly empty except for Misty lurking in the shadows. The sextet have some hot and heavy sex on stage with plenty of blowjobs, anals, and facials to go around. After the encore, Misty gets up from her seat and Francesca confronts her. Cut to... ...A hotel room where Misty is seated somewhat nervously as Francesca and a cop (played by Chad Thomas) detain her in what appears to be a clear violation of her Fourth, Fifth and Fourteenth (did I miss any?) Amendment rights. Poor Misty becomes all hot and bothered as Francesca taunts her into licking the officer's nightstick and harasses her with dirty talk. Francesca and Misty both look sexier than hell here: Misty is wrapped up in a tight, sky blue short dress which shows off her absolutely perfect legs, and Francesca is pure sex whenever she sneers and pouts at the camera. Getting on her knees as Misty watches helplessly in the background, Francesca unzips the cop's pants and begins sucking on his flesh and blood nightstick with an enthusiasm that will have you confessing crimes that you've never committed. Misty hesitatingly joins in, and finds herself greedily fighting for her share of Chad's third leg. The titillating image of these two sexpots bribing the cop with sexual favors is enough to make one want to join the police academy, and is a fantasy worthy of Hustler's BARELY LEGAL series. Naturally, Misty and Francesca both get porked by Officer Thomas in a couple of well-shot anal scenes which makes the entire video worthwhile. Although the viewer has long been waiting for the featured starlet to take it up the Hershey Highway, it's Francesca who makes this climactic scene work so well. She even takes a face and mouthful of spunk after Chad pulls himself straight from Misty's hole. Unfortunately, none of the white stuff not gets swapped with Misty, which is the usual trademark of any scene they have together. In past films, they would ravish each other as well as the male partner with a passionate frenzy that made their scenes truly exciting to watch. In BUTT-BANGED BICYCLE BABES, and in the yet unreleased NASTY NYMPHOS, some of the most heated hardcore ever made occurs between these two anal babes. Admittedly, this vignette isn't quite as nasty as their other encounters together, but is definitely is one of the best directed and most intense. Overall, any movie where they are paired must be seen, and this film is one of several "classic" moments the two have had together. THE ANAL DIARY OF MISTY RAIN isn't the best video I have ever seen, especially since the DVD shows the picture and sound limitations of the original video source: colors are faded and detail is a bit lacking, although it still looks leaps and bounds better than videotape. The sound exhibits no overt faults, but screams and moans can get a little screechy. The extras are standard stuff: photo gallery, a bunch of previews and some advertising. The DVD box cover looks like it was taken from a second-hand VHS box cover, as you can see the creases and folds of the original opening tabs (assuming you're willing to scrutinize the packaging with that much attention!). But despite the general mediocrity, Misty and Francesca make for some memorably erotic moments, and in the anal end, that's what counts!
|