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Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
MY PLAYTHING: JENNA JAMESON (2001) Overall Rating: 3.25 out of 5.00 - Film: 2 Features: 4 Video: 4 Audio: 3 "Virtue-less Sex With Jenna" The latest in a regular line of interactive DVDs, MY PLAYTHING: JENNA JAMESON has generated a lot of anticipation and hype as the latest blockbuster to hit the digital medium. Combining the considerable talents of Jenna Jameson, with the popular novelty of interactive sex, this two-disc set has generated some excitement amongst porn fans, and New Sensations (Digital Sin) has taken steps to assure a grand premiere. The premise of this video is that via the DVD player's remote, or with a few clicks of the mouse, the viewer gets to have his (or her) way with Jenna and to make her obey our every sexual command. Like all videos of this genre, it dispenses with plot and pretense, and gets the user directly involved with the hardcore action. However, upon initially hearing of, and eventually reviewing, a copy of MY PLAYTHING, I had an overwhelming sense of deja vu -- a "been-there-done-that" reaction to this whole project. A couple of years ago, Digital Playground had released an interactive DVD entitled VIRTUAL SEX WITH JENNA to great acclaim and much success. Giant companies like VCA have also followed suit with using Ginger Lynn and Stacy Valentine in their "Fantasex" segments found on WHITE LIGHTNING and CHASING STACY (and then of course, there is the abominable DIVA X series which rip-off the VIRTUAL SEX concept in absolutely shoddy form). I am by far the least biggest fan of these type of videos; I like my porno the old fashioned way with bad acting, laughable dialogue, studio-bound scenery and volcanic sucking and fucking. {After all, as Lex Luthor once exclaimed in SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE, "what more could anyone ask?") But in the case of VIRTUAL SEX WITH JENNA, we do get some hot action between Jenna and her male partner, which doesn't necessarily fool me into thinking that I'm really having sex with her, but at the very least, fulfills the minimum requirements of being a true-blue dirty movie. Regrettably, such is not the case with MY PLAYTHING. The one overwhelmingly fatal flaw in this otherwise well-produced program lies in the sad, sad fact that Jenna does not have sex with any guys in the flick. That's right. All of the sexual acrobatics and amazing erotic skills for which she is known is done with a woman wearing a strap-on dildo. So if you are anxious to see her get slammed doggy-style, or get porked in a missionary position, be warned that it's all done with a dead piece of plastic (or rubber...I have no idea what those things are made of), guided almost entirely off-camera by partner Briana Banks. And since we are dealing with a fake penis here, there are no oral scenes to enjoy, which means that one of the essential elements of an adult movie, that of watching the girl show off her talents with fellatio, are entirely absent from this video! While I respect her decision to refrain from performing with men in her latest videos, I am not at all sure why they bothered to promote this video as a virtual sex experience. What's next -- computer graphic images of male partners? Sure, porn movies are all about fantasy, but just as some viewers (validly) don't care to see condoms intrude in the iron-screen sex, I cannot accept a prosthetic as a substitute for what should be a real, live, flesh and blood partner with the lovely Jenna. While I have to say that I do not care at all for some of the ridiculously faked cumshots found in VIRTUAL SEX (except for the all-important oral cumshot which is the genuine article), at least I know that the sex is real, and involves real body parts. MY PLAYTHING has all the warmth and passion of an X-rated ROBOCOP movie. And since when does playing with a strap-dildo count as sex? I dunno...but unless there is another live human being actively involved in putting his thingy into her holiest of holes, I can't honestly say that there is any real fucking going on in MY PLAYTHING either. In an effort to salvage some merit from this lackluster video, MY PLAYTHING might be characterized strictly as a girl-girl affair. But then again, the main feature absolutely lacks any of the elements which make for a great lesbian scene, such as the deep kissing, the mutual oral sex, the use double-ended dildos and so forth. As a result, and despite all the different categories of sex offered on this disc, I felt like this video was nothing more than a multi-positioned, multi-faceted masturbation session. Jenna's partner does nothing but lie there nearly motionless (and absolutely emotionless) when Jenna rides on the dildo reverse cowgirl style, so all the sexplay not only looks bizarre, but feels cold and distant. Briana gets to finger-fuck Jenna's pussy, but doesn't get to stick her tongue in there which is incredibly disappointing (and nonsensical, since all we get in the "Tongue Pussy" foreplay section is an awkward shot of her crotch). In the section labeled "Bonus" we see disembodied male hands giving her an awkward body massage and groping her tits while she whispers sweet nothing to the camera. I have no idea why New Sensations would think that these scenes would be erotic, and I am bewildered as to why they used a guy's touch here instead of a woman's. In any event, these scenes are deadly dull, and ridiculous to watch as they have virtually no erotic value. What's more, these segments make Jenna look rather lazy and distant, as if we, the viewers, are supposed to be at her service or something. Maybe I'm looking too much of a subtext into these scenes, but what else can I do while I'm being bored to death? In another part of the "Bonus" section, we find our Miss J grinding on top of a motorized dildo. While the motor purrs in the background, and Jenna moans and cries in ecstasy, we are given the option to adjust the speed control (via a garishly illustrated icon which resembles a speedometer). There is no doubt that there is a motor running underneath Jenna's crotch, and as the speed is turned up, we can see her little clit-stud vibrate faster and faster. I have to admit, that I was somewhat amused by this little novelty, but again, amusement does not equal sexual satisfaction. Jenna's laughing orgasm is moderately convincing, but it's clear that she was the only one aroused in this scene. Shot at a static medium shot, you will definitely need to change to the second angle in order to get some visual variety here. As if to acknowledge the shortcomings on the main feature, New Sensations has offered a second disc of supplementary materials including some teasing vignettes gorgeously shot in different settings (they would not be too out of place as a bonus on an Andrew Blake Studio-A feature), as well as some outtakes, bloopers, interviews, and so forth. But the most exciting thing about this disc (indeed, the best thing about both discs) is that we get an actual, but woefully half-assed, lesbian scene with Briana Banks, which is contrived as being shot "In between takes" (we are to assume that the scene occurred unexpectedly during the production). Maddeningly, however, there is a moment where Jenna supposedly fist-fucks her partner, but the screen fades to black with a written explanation: "Unfortunately, we are unable to show you the current content..." In the meantime, we hear the audio track: "Your whole fucking fist...fist it, it feels so good!"... Well, give me a friggin' break! Why tease or mislead the viewer into thinking that something especially nasty was going on, but not show it? This is utter nonsense; if New Sensations did not have the guts to give us what could have been something actually, genuinely interesting on this otherwise lackluster title, why even bring the subject up? Even worse, after Jenna works on her during this less four minute vignette, it's all over without the viewer getting to see any more lesbian action. Needless to say, this scene isn't all that great, but it is the best moment of the program (sad, but true). There is no doubt that Jenna looks super-sexy in this video (as does Briana Banks, during those scarce times that we get to see her in full view), and her legion of fans will eat this one up like a kid to chocolate ice cream. But I have to say, that I prefer Jenna's overall appearance in VIRTUAL SEX far and above her looks here. Amidst the sparse settings and black background, and with less tattoos, fewer piercings, and better makeup, Jenna's gorgeous features are unhindered by the overdone, Martha Stewart-ish production foundin MY PLAYTHING. Despite her Britney Spears-ish plaid skirt and white blouse, Jenna looks fresher and more glowing in a simple white bra and panties in VIRTUAL SEX. With all the limitations that MY PLAYTHING tries valiantly to work around, one wonders why they even bothered (and why do they call DVDs "disks" instead of the recognized spelling as "discs?" But I digress...). Any new "virtual sex" title is bound to becompared to those of Digital Playground's, especially when it features the same actress. So putting both titles toe to toe is not only fair, but entirely warranted. MY PLAYTHING has no true oral sex, no real fucking, and almost no on-screen human interaction whatsoever. All the nice extras on this disc are just empty bells and whistles which can't make up for the video's unforgivable lack of content. Until virtual sex transcends the boundaries of our two-dimensional viewing screen, the interactive experience simply doesn't work when all Jenna does is get it on with a molded piece of rubber/plastic. Not all is lost: the DVD quality of MY PLAYTHING is very good. The video is well-photographed, with bright sharp colors and clear images. However, the on-screen design of the video leaves a lot to be desired. The Main Menu allowing the viewer to choose "tease/masturbate/foreplay/sex/bonus" is placed smack dab in the lower third of the screen which is ugly and distracting. With such well-shot videography, I wonder why the designers did not place the menu somewhere in the corner so that we aren't bombarded by all these little icons, graphics and windows littering the screen. At least VIRTUAL SEX gives us the option to turn them off, keeping the fantasy a lot less "technical." The audio is okay, although sometimes Jenna's dirty talk is obscured by the sounds of extraneous movement or machinery. The rocking soundtrack is loud and obnoxious, but Jenna's voice is nicely orgasmic. In the end, MY PLAYTHING: JENNA JAMESON is really a video which is all form and no substance; it's like sailboat fuel wrapped in gold paper. There is no doubt that Jenna's body and her charms shine on this disc. But when all was said and done, I found myself looking to VIRTUAL SEX WITH JENNA for a much better time with J.J.
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