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From: [email protected] (Augustinus Melies-Marsh) HR_Classic_NR1: Sour Vaseline (Italy 1902), A Movie in a Movie (USA 1909), A Free Ride (USA 1919), The New Maid (France 1922), Convicts (Mexico 1925), KeyHole (France 1928), Pep's Pills (USA 1932), Dr. Longpeter (USA 1938), Marylin Monroe (USA 1938), Margie (USA 1939), Evelyn West (USA 1947), Introduction (Holland 2000), cyberdream.jpg Quality is decent for films of this age which have not been restored. Some are fairly contrasty, with whites and blacks dominating the screen, with loss of some of the grays inbetween. Some have scratches and spotches, but again, this is expected, and they are not too bad or distracting. Many seem to end without having actual endings,; this may have been the fault of amateur directors. All contain sex, except two: Marylin Monroe and Evelyrn West, which contain only nudity, only topless nudity at that. There is a fair amount of rape themes and "no means yes," which will offend some while perhaps appealing to others. Another reoccuring theme seems to be impotence and minute-men, apparently for comic effect. There are some surprises here, such as the homosexuality in Sour Vaseline (which otherwise primarily consists of heterosexual sex). It is hard to say if it is used for comic effect, or as part of an anti-clerical statement, or what.... A Free Ride contains urination, though not golden showers. Many happily contain outdoor scenes, or are shot entirely outdoors. The women have not had breast jobs, and as such may appeal to naturalists. The women are fairly attractive, though not particularly stunning. Sour Vaseline (Italy 1902) Possibly made in 1913, rather than 1903, though there is no question this is one of the earliest existing porn films surviving. Nun walking along, who stops to talk to a mustachioed man working. She sits on a log as he continues to work at (apparently) pulling up roots. His hands move from his work to her legs, and she raises her hands high up in prayer. She struggles a bit as he stands her up, turns her and lays her out on the grass, lifting her habit up above her waist, as she lays still with her hands across her chest. He spreads her legs, and there is a close-up as he starts tonguing away. They sit up, embracing and kissing; he lays back and she opens his trousers and starts BJ, massaging with one hand. He gets her up, bends her over, and starts going at her doggie style. There is a cut to a high window being opened, and a monk looking out. He reacts to what is happening by raising his hands up in surprise, and bowing, and closes the window. Cut to the couple embracing and kissing again, with their hands at each others' crotches. The monk enters the shot, and separates the couple. He has the nun bend over, exposing her backside, and she fights him a little. The man sheepishly goes back to work, while the monk spanks the nun with something. He begins kissing her ass, turns her around, raises up his cassock and directs her to blow him, which she does. He leads her away a few paces, with the man coming along, and lays her out on the ground and starts tonguing her. Then a surprise; while the monk is doing this, he has his ass high in the air and exposed, and the man is doing him up the ass. The monk gets her up, and they lead her away a few paces, and she lays down again, the monk briefly tonguing her again then screwing her while the man fucks her mouth. The shot irises in. Cut to a head and shoulders shot of the three, the nun in the middle with her arms around the men. She kisses the monk, turns her head and kisses the man, then clutches them both to her. A quick iris in and fade, and with one man on each of her spread legs, they lift her up and set her on the ground. They both bow to her, and she bows her head to each of them. They walk away and out of the shot, and her head falls and she puts her hands together in prayer. A Movie in a Movie (USA 1909) A goateed man in a robe and turban is kissing away at a woman's exposed breast. She stands up and takes off her clothes, leaving only her headpiece. He takes his clothes off, leaving his turban. They embrace, kissing, while she clutches his dick, and he massages her all over. She is laid on her back, and he goes from massaging her, to moving his head down apparently to give head. Cut to a close up, and he stimulates her with his fingers and then his tongue, shot from a few different angles, including one where she is sitting on his face. He also massages her anus. Cut to a shot of him standing, with her tongue extended licking him, before she starts blowing. Cut to the man sitting, and the woman sitting on his lap. She helps him in and there is some reverse CG, also shot in CU, cut to a partially sidesaddle RCG. Then, cut to CG, while he sucks on her tit, FO, then CU on CG penetration. Then she is laid on her back on a bed at his waist level. He puts her legs up over his shoulders and starts fucking her, shot from a few different angles. He then bends down over her kissing her as he continues to go at her. This cuts to a brief shot of them apparently on their sides in touching each other in 69, and the film ends abruptly. A Free Ride (USA 1919)
This film has an entry in the IMDb: In the wide open spaces, where "men are men" and "girls will be girls", the hills are full of romance and adventure. Two women are walking together along a dirt road. A car pulls up alongside them, the mustachioed man inside asking, "Hello girls, want a ride?" They seem skeptical. "No thanks, we are walking home from one now." He gets out, "I'm going your way and I'll be nice." "If you promise to be good." He helps them into the car, they put their coats in the back, and immediately he is pawing at them. "What a beautiful dairy." They fight him off (a little), but also move to embrace him. "When youth meets youth a party is on." The car is shown driving along, stopping, and the man gets out. They nod to each other. "Excuse me a minute." He walks off, and the women start to get out of the car. "Let's see what he is doing." The man stops walking, looks around, and starts to pee. The women are shown creeping up, giggling to each other as he pees. "Oh, isn't he wonderful!" He tucks himself back in, as they continue to watch through the hands over their eyes, and arm in arm they run back to the car. They clamber back into the car, and he gets back, only to have them say, "Excuse us a minute." He watches with evil glee as they walk away, and runs after them. The women are shown squatting and peeing, the man watching with his hand on his crotch. "Oh baby." He sneaks back to the car, and helps them get back in, lifting up the backs of their dresses as they do. He gestures back to the woods. "How about a little drink." "Sure mike." He gets a bottle out of the back, passes it to each of them, takes a drink himself and starts kissing the closer woman. "May I speak to you alone?" He takes her coat, and helps her out into the woods, where they begin embracing and kissing. He lifts her dress up and starts massaging her bush, and she opens his fly, pulls him out and starts giving him a hand job. Cut to the other woman in the car peering out, "I wonder what they are doing?" She gets out and walks into the woods. Meanwhile, the man drops his trousers, lays out the coat and she lays down upon in, and he gets on top of her. The other woman is shown with her dress lifted, smiling and masturbating. Cutting back and forth between her and the couple in mish. The other woman approaches and taps the man on the shoulder, "Please give me a little." She gets down on all fours, with her dress exposing her ass as he checks her out. "Yes, with pleasure." The first woman lolls about as he does the second woman doggie style. He gets up and walks away and both women toss about on the coat, apparently exhausted and satisfied. They apparently nap, and the man returns and gets the second woman, and whatever apparently starts is cut by the next title card. "We repeat, that �men are men' in the open spaces." The man is now on his back somewhere else in the woods, and the women, naked but for their stockings, are dancing in a circle around him. One woman lies down on top, while the other keeps dancing around, then sits on the other woman's back, but is pushed off. She then lies down on top alongside the other woman. "A hound for punishment." The man is on his back, with his hands behind his head as he gets a BJ. His fake mustache starts to fall off, but he hides his face with one arm while readjusting it. The women get up off the man, and they all get dressed again. "All's well that ends well." They return to the car. "Hurry up, let's get out of here." The car drives off (in the direction it originally came from). "The End of A Free Ride." The New Maid (France 1922) This one is shot entirely on a set. A woman is in a sitting room, and gets up and returns with a younger woman in a coat. The younger woman hands over a paper (an ad, or her references?), and a man enters. He takes the paper and begins to converse with the woman and his wife. The young woman is shown seated reading a paper, while the man seated across from her touches her legs. She pushes him away. He walks off, and talks to his wife. He kisses his wife, and sends her over to the woman. The wife begins kissing and caressing the girl. The wife and girl are then standing next to the husband, who kisses the girl. He bends his wife over, exposing her ass, and starts caning her. The wife kisses the girl, massaging her breast. The man continues to cane (or it may be a riding crop) his wife. (The woman doesn't appear to actually get struck, as he seems to stop just short of hitting her, and many shots merely show him bearing down with the cane, without showing her ass.) He bends the girl over, who is also bare-bottomed, and begins flagellating her with some other object (a duster, maybe?). He lies the woman down on a bench and begins tonguing her. His wife then does the same, her tongue is more visible, and is going mile a minute. (Possibly this is because this may be a silent film projected at the-faster-sound speed, or possibly it was sped up intentionally, or possibly she simply has a really fast tongue!) The wife is then shown aggressively giving her husband a BJ. The wife pushes the girl onto her husband, and the girl continues the BJ. The wife and husband then strip the girl together. The wife licks and sucks one of the girl's breasts while she also uses her hand to diddle the girl. The husband caresses and kisses the girl. The wife's hand is going full speed. Both women are then bending over exposing their asses, as the husband again has the duster, and hits them both. The women both rub their sore asses. The man is then on the bench, the girl standing over his face as he tongues her, the wife riding him and kissing the girl's breasts. They are all then dressed again, the girl in her coat; the woman kisses both her cheeks, the man pats her face, and the film ends a little abruptly. Convicts (Mexico 1925) Two girls are walking along together through the outdoors. Meanwhile, some figures are running about in the brush. Fade in four men seated on the ground playing cards. CUs of each of them, one looking like a pirate, a second in traditional striped prison uniform, with the number 69 on his uniform's hat. The third and fourth look more like cowboys or desperadoes. They get up and start fighting each other, and one heads off alone. He runs back and gets the others, who creep along. They crouch in the brush, as the women approach on a trail. They jump the women, two grabbing each. The women struggle, but are dragged away. The two cowboys drop their woman on the ground, who buries her head in her hands crying. One walks off, as the other removes his hat, puts his hand on her shoulder, and lays her back. Her dress pulled up, his pants pulled down he does her mish. Another guys runs along and pulls the guy off. He cradles his limp dick. There is a lot of confusing cutting. One guy is with a woman laid on the ground, and her pulls her dress up to her shoulders. As he lies on her and kisses her, she hides her face with a hand and cries. He goes from kissing her breasts to giving her head, as she still sobs. He then rolls her on top of him, and she does him CG. A moment later he rolls her off, and he has come on his abdomen. He squeezes the rest out, and massages it on his crotch. She is standing, apparently rubbing some off her leg, and she runs off. He gets dressed and runs off in a different direction. The prisoner and the pirate are with a woman. They drop her on the ground and both pull their guns. The pirate leaves, and the prisoner sets his prison shirt and pants on the ground for the woman to sit on. She lies back and they do some mish; the woman smiles. The prisoner stops, having failed somehow. The pirate who was seated nearby seems to shrug and approaches. The prisoner kisses the girl, waves to both and walks off. The pirate takes his pants off and gestures to his crotch. The woman apparently doesn't want to blow him, and he gets his gun, and then she does it. Then she gets on all fours, and he does her doggie. Then he pulls out. As they are both standing, she appears to snatch something from his head, and she runs off. He gets dressed and runs off after her. The next shot has the prisoner running after a woman. He catches her, pulls out his gun, has her lie down, pulls his pants down and does her mish. Meanwhile, they kiss. He pulls out, and then there are several shots of a creampie. She flexes her muscles and some more dribbles out. She gets up and runs off. The prisoner gesticulates, and gets his clothes and walks off. The two women have found each other and are crying together, rubbing their eyes. The men all run up a hill gathering together and laughing. The end title features some sort of fireworks or sparkler, and appears to read "anahuo -Mex- Fin." KeyHole (France 1928) HR's intro also calls this "Le Trou." The film opens with a keyhole effect; the camera seeming to pass through a keyhole and revealing a man and a masked woman, with a uniformed man pouring wine. The server leaves the room. The man takes the woman's blouse off. The server returns to the door and puts his ear to it, then peeks through the keyhole, and again the effect, although this time it does not disappear, but stays to border the image. The man is kissing the woman's body and pulls her panties off. The man starts undressing, and the woman starts giving him a HJ. Cut to the server, and again the keyhole effect. The woman continues the HJ, while masturbating. The server mops his brow, keyhole, same action continues. The man lies on his back, the woman atop him in 69. More brow mopping, keyhole into CU of the man giving head. Mopping, keyhole CU of woman giving BJ. A jittery keyhole effect into a CU of her pussy, then the man's head coming into the shot, licking her. Brow, keyhole, the woman gets up and starts doing the man CG. Mopping, keyhole, same; mopping, keyhole, same; mopping, keyhole, same; mopping, keyhole, same, this time the man's dick comes out and shoots its load. Cut to the server, who stands up, unbuttoning his uniform as he rushes into the room, the film ending somewhat abruptly as he does so, ending on a shot of him closing the door behind him. Pep's Pills (USA 1932) A man with graying hair (a bad wig?) and a mustache is in his living room, playing with his stereo. His wife approaches, dancing, but he pushes her away. He keeps pushing her away, then halfheartedly tries to dance, but tries to return to the stereo, then gives up entirely and collapses into a chair. A maid enters and hands the wife a bottle. The label is shown, but is unreadable. Some pills are shaken out. The label is shown again in CU. "Dr. Pep's Erection Tablets Guaranteed to Stiffen a Limber Prick and Replace Lost Vitality. Dose: 1 Hour Hardon-2 Pills 4 Hour Hardon-3 Pills 24 Hour Hardon-4 Pills Manufactured by Dr. Pep's Medical Supply Company 1248 Pearl Street Buffalo N.Y." His wife sits in his lap feeding him pills, and he clearly has more than 4 pills. He starts feeling up his wife. He gets out some sort of dildos, possibly radio tubes, and using them on his wife. He and his wife strip their clothes off and start dancing, while the maid dances in her seat. The maid takes her clothes off and starts dancing with them. They fall onto the couch, one on each side of the man. His wife starts playing with his crotch and he continually kicks his legs in the air, since the pills made him so sensitive. His wife starts giving him a BJ. The maid massages his head. His wife starts doing him CG. Various CU shots of this are intercut with CUs of the label. CU of reverse CG. CU of doggie style, CU of same from below. CU of mish. The man takes the probe of some sort of electrical device with meters and inserts it into his wife, and the film ends somewhat abruptly there. "Fine." Dr. Longpeter (USA 1938) The first shot is of a man holding up a title card, but it is too brief and unclear to read. Something about coming over. He puts the card down and picks up a medical bag which appears to read in part "Veterinary Dr. Longpeter" and walks off. At "APT. 4Q" he knocks on the door, enters, and approaches his patient, a woman on a bed. He is wearing an absurd fake nose and beard. "Dr., I believe I am pregnant." "I will have to give you a thorough examination." He pulls her dress up and presses his stethoscope against her pussy and ass. She takes her clothes off and her takes the pulse of her nipples and navel. He sticks a thermometer into her pussy. "You are not pregnant: but I find you have spiran gironemo of the blow-hole". The Doctor takes his shirt and pants off. "Oh please fix me up." He starts feeling her up and rubbing his dick against her. She gives him a BJ. "Advice from a good Doctor, �One way to avoid pregnancy.'" He tit-fucks her while she licks when she can. Then RCG (what happened to avoiding pregnancy?). Then some CG, and mish. She has on high heels throughout. The film ends abruptly as he appears to have pulled out. "fine." Marylin Monroe (USA 1938) Generally attributed to the late 1940s or early 1950s. First minute and a half is photos and short film clips of Marilyn Monroe as a child, and as Norma Jean, and as Marylin. Then the title "High-Quality Films presents Marylin Monroe." "The Apple-Knockers and the Coke." Stars not Marilyn Monroe (sorry), but look-alike Arlene Hunter. This is a common (mis)attribution; that it is Arlene Hunter is noted across the internet, including in "Celebrity Skin," Part Six of the RAME FAQ <http://www.rame.net/faq/part6.html#xtocid176832>;. It starts with her dressed, sitting next to a bag. She takes the dress off, revealing her breasts. She plays with a flower. Laughs and smiles a lot. About three and a half minutes in she starts rolling an apples over her chest. She pulls her panties down some, but not enough to reveal anything. She still has her high heels on. About a minute later she pulls out a bottle of Coke and drinks some, intentionally spilling some out of her mouth onto her chest, which she wipes up. She lies on her back drinking more, then spits some out onto her hand and the film ends abruptly on an image of that. Margie (USA 1939) Starts with a couple embracing and kissing. They move to the bed and continue kissing. He kisses his way around her body. About three and a half minutes in he starts aggressively fucking her spread eagle. Then mish him on top, then they roll over. A little while later, she sits up a little, almost CG. She sits up completely for CG, and after some of that, the film fades to black on that. Evelyn West (USA 1947) West enters, clothed, through curtains onto a stage. She gives a speech in rhyme, not quite singing, with a not terribly appealing voice. "you see I just returned from a little shopping date. What did I buy? Oh, a little of this and that. Confidentially speaking, I could put it in my hat. Now I can tell by your...eyes, you're looking at my...shoes. When I think of what I paid for them I get the blues. This is something I picked up at the ? store. I know you're anxious, so I'll have to show you more. Now, my teddies are attractive I'll admit, and I'm sure you'll agree they're a perfect fit. My lingerie was especially made for me in the fashion parade." Etc. She eventually removes her bra, but keeps some other articles on, and unfortunately the video is too contrasty to really see her breasts well. Is she wearing pasties? Maybe, maybe not. She exits the stage,"And remember you saw the original hubba-hubba girl in the art of stripping."
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