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From: Voyager <[email protected]>
Subject: REVIEW: BARELY LEGAL #09 --- A Slight Return...
Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2001 22:56:02
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
I saw Barely Legal #9 this evening, since Pat did the heavy lifting a
week or so ago, I'll prod here and there into his review....
Riley....
BARELY LEGAL #09
2000--LFP Video
Producer/Director: Clive McLean
Featuring: Stephanie Athena, Tabitha Stern, Ilana, Kitty Marie,
Anne Howe, Scotti Andrews, Roland Svenson, John Stern, Antonio,
Shaggy, Damien Michaels
Voyager....
There's always a need for eyecandy.....
The two girls with the major boxcover real estate are in scene #4
Girls at bottom, from left to right are in scenes #5, 3, 2 and 1
respectively.
http://jadedvideo.com/imagesx/42369-1.jpg
http://jadedvideo.com/imagesx/42369-2.jpg
Summary:
Riley...
Disappointing. While the girls are young or young-looking, they're
nowhere near the quality level of the first few volumes of this
series and the "couples in love" factor that seemed to work well
earlier only really applies in one scene. The other two couples
act like long time porno performers. Videography and sound,
however, are excellent, and the stories, although told in voice
over and not acted, are passably good. On balance it's probably
still worth a rental if you come across it.
Voyager...
I tend to agree with Pat here, this is not the creme of the Barely
Legal crop, but still very much worth the rental, in porn you could
easily do far worse. Hustler does need to raise their production,
storyline and quality of girls if they want to give Dane Productions a
good run for their money. I would say, Dane owns this market.
Many of the themes presented in their plots are pretty much
cookie-cutter'd from others in the series. The camera work tends
primarily towards medium and long shots, with very little closeup
shots. Some of the features these girls possess need more closeup
camera action. All of the girl's peeing was done with long shots,
closeups are sorely needed here.
The girls were non-whorish looking and acting. What I did like about
the scenes, the girls and guys were aged matched, no aged perving H.
Savage or parolee prima-donnas with knife scars on their backs.
I would give this video a 3.0 out of 4.0 rating. I would consider this
an above average video, worth the rental, and if one is a collector of
such genre, its a keeper.
Scene #1:
Riley...
{Stepbrother's Den}: Stephanie (credits: just Athena) can be seen
in {Bring 'Um Young #3} where she also demonstrated her infant
damaged belly and tattoos. Here, she has just returned from
private school for the break and tells us about her stepbrother
(Roland, a guy with a very small dick--her husband/SO in real
life) who's always making rude comments about her small tits.
After she pees in the bathtub and preens in the mirror, she walks
in on the stepbrother and finds him masturbating to a nudie
magazine. This turns her on and she helps out by letting him screw
her including an anal ending in a facial. The anal part--in fact,
the whole scene--was unbelievable.
Voyager...
An ok scene to break the ice. Leave it to Larry, to include a
step-relation sex scene. When girls pee, do they all orient it, so it
runs down their thighs? Thats icky! The girl did have one of those
asses specially built for anal sex. Big browneye gaping cheeks before
you get to sphincter. Sex was so-so, basically gfe (girl friend
experience) sex, nothing really wrong with that. I thought though the
cum shot was faked. You could not see his cock shooting creme, her
hand had it totally covered up and he was off camera.
Scene #2:
Riley...
{Across The Alley}: Tabitha is pretty and can be seen in {Up And
Cummers #86}. She tells us about her apartment and how close to
her neighbors she is and we watch while she talks on the phone and
notices John (husband in real life) peeping from next door. She
flashes her body at him, perfunctorily masturbates, and waves him
over for a screw ending in a facial/body cum shot. These two might
be married but their sex together is sterile due, I think, to her
inability to abandon control. Hopefully, it's better in real life.
Voyager....
Jesus Pat, How do you know about all of these porn relationships? Do
these girls get your OK and blessing when they pair-bond? I thought
this was the best scene of the video. The girl is very cute, perfect
A/B cups with points that could cut glass. I would have liked a bit
more light in their scene, though it was done in a bedroom at night,
so they kept that look and feel. She had very good cock sucking
skills. Nyce no-hands sucking, the two of them in a decent rhythm. She
had a nyce quim, natural blond pubes and a nyce ass. I think also for
his first 5 or 6 cum shots the guy could keep up with beer can.
Unfortunately, his tongue pierce was positioned for pleasing cock, not
pussy, and he had too much ink on his body.
Riley...
{Lover's Beach}: Ilana (Elana in the closing credits) has a
marginal face, long unkempt dark blonde hair in a pony tail (looks
like an extension), front tooth gap, racing stripe, wide hips,
cantaloupes, right nipple ring, tight waist, and a lithe body.
She's better than she sounds in her written description--in her
swimsuit she could fit in on {Baywatch}. She goes on vacation to a
very nice beach where she meets Antonio who she tells us, she must
have. They head off across the bay to another beach where they
find a secluded area. She pees and then they screw including an
anal ending without a cum shot. This is probably the best scene
sex-wise with the two appearing to be in love and enjoying what
they're doing. The guy, however, looks like Backey Jackey (German,
I believe)--as ugly anyway--but the thing wrong with this is that
Backey is a premature and frequent and copious ejaculator. In his
scenes he can usually put out three or more cum shots so I'd be
surprised if he couldn't cum. The beach too doesn't looks American
and although they both speak English (very little dialog) I've the
sense that this was shot outside the US.
Voyager...
Why did this girl think she needed bolt-ons? From a distance she
looked like a 18-19 year old Dee. But there was no movement to her
tits. Also, she may have had a clit hiding underneath her lil beefy
curtains, but we never got a good look-see. She had quite a grip when
she was sucking cock. Had her hands around the base of the guys balls.
Was she afraid he was going to run off or something? I did not like
the way the guy was fucking her, he was too "showy". Way too many long
shots with the rocks and ocean in the background. We didn't see her
initially anally penetrated. Lastly, no cumshot.... Scene was
probably shot in Mexico.
Riley...
{Jack The Janitor}: This one is unbelievable with Anne and Kitty
doing a three way with emaciated Shaggy (I've seen him somewhere
before too but I can't recall where) in the girl's locker room on
the basis that he turned them on or something equally weak. Anne,
who was current back in 1999, according to rumor left to have a
baby but if that's true, she has the most amazing recuperative
powers known to man. Her body, pre-pubertal back then, now looks
like that of an eight-year old and her face hasn't improved beyond
marginal. Kitty, who pees in the toilet, falls into the "not too
pretty runaway" group although she does look very young. You can
see her in {18 And Nasty #16} and she was a regular on Ed's {MDD}
series in multiple volumes from {#155} to {#170}.
Voyager....
Maybe its because I like the underdog Pat, but I enjoy these scenes
where the boy-janitor-who-never-gets-any-action has the girls cum onto
him. Actually, this is the best scene Anne has been in, though she is
porn fodder. She must weight 84 lbs. Buttttt, sucks a good dick, and
took pity upon the janitor. I liked how when she was taking off his
rubber boots and yellow rubber work pants she says, "Jack, you need to
get a better job"..... He did have a good thick cock, which the two
girls gladly chowed down.
Kitty, had some very large beef curtains, but you just saw them when
she squatted over Anne's face for only 7.63 seconds. Finally, there
should be a postulate in porn, that whenever two girls faces are
side-by-side and the parolee fires upon them, that the girls show some
effort to play with each other's snow....
Riley...
{Highland Fling}: Scotti (credits: just Tatiana) comes to
Hollywood from Scotland to audition for a dance video but she's
late and Damien tells her that she'll have to go all the way to
secure a place in the video. She's willing and they screw
including an anal ending in a facial. Scotti was in {Bring 'Um
Young #3} and is hefty--maybe even fat-- with very large natural
tits. Hopefully this is the last time we'll ever have to see her
dance (it's like an elephant dancing). Note that there's an
editing error here with a repetition of the introductory sequence.
Voyager....
As for the editing error, Why waste good tape!
Pat, she was not fat. The girl had D+ natural breasts and a curvy
body. I bet she had a narrower waist than most of the girls except
Anne Howe. Though she wasn't the most graceful of girls, she did
dance better than I saw Temptress dance in one of her videos. Also,
this naturally buxom girl did the god-damn splits (this blew me away)
as part of her dance moves and did it very well. I wish she was nekked
when she did this, then again, her boobs coulda bounced when she hit
the floor and bopped her on the head, knocking her out.
I wished she would have held out a bit more, before giving into the
slime bucket, but she was out of town and needed a break. Also, I
would have liked to have heard her actually speak, not the voice over
with that scottish accent. Heck, I'd even wear a kilt if she would
coo in my ear with her accent and let me take my weed-wacker to her
bush. Pretty decent cock sucking skills, a decent fuck for someone
from Scotland, I guess.... :-)
Riley....
All persons are credited by their first names only. No condoms
were used. Date of production: 11/8/00 (box); 1/15/01 (video).
Voyager....
Finally, Pat do you recall the previews at the beginning of the tape.
They started with the skanky Snoopie-Dog video, then the second one
appeared to be a stylized possibly all g/g affair. The girls and quim
I saw were very above average, any idea what the video was? There
were no titles given of the previewed scenes just the lame ass Hustler
Video logo, which looks like it was created as a project by an 8th
grader made to stay after school, because they forgot their
homework...
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