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From: [email protected]
Title: Ass Clowns Ass Clowns Cast: Taylor St. Claire, Kendra Jade, Amber Wood, Cat Langer with special appearances from Sharon Kane and Kristi Myst�with Luciano, Brian Surewood, Brandon Irons, Claudio, Valentino, Mark Wood, Jake Lawless, Anthony Crane and Rod Fantana Director: Tom Zupko Comments: Congratulations Tom Zupko�You have made the most fucked up porn movie I have ever seen. You have also lived up to all the hype you stirred around "Ass Clowns". You raved about Taylor St. Claire's no-holes-barred performance here, saying she actually cried during filming because she wanted it more hardcore and more sex. You also called her probably the best performer in the industry. This turned out to be true, as Taylor commits herself fully to each of her scenes with total cooperation and a passion rarely seen from her during her scenes. You also said that Kendra's scene, where she tears a bible apart and puts pages from it up her asshole, would just about offend whoever saw it. This is proving to be true, as Kendra is having fans actually return copies of the movie to her in total disgust. You actually didn't even bother to mention the other scenes, but you have a young girl being raped by her father and his friends, two cops raping and dping a girl they catch parking with her boyfriend and giving him a blowjob in addition to Taylor as a dyslexic who gets beaten and fucked by her favorite soap opera actor, Taylor as a blonde debutante raped by a deranged pizza delivery guy, and Kendra being fucked by 3 devils as a priest does nothing but stand by and read the Bible. You see, the whole premise of the movie is basically either one of the irony involved in the situation and corruption of youth, as each scene involves girls trying to escape reality into a fantasy world, but this fantasy world is not safe as it gets corrupted also. Here, clowns, who are supposed to entertain, instead partake in the action of defiling the girls. Kristi Myst is one of the clowns, as she tells us before the infamous last scene, "You fear God! You fear Death! But you love my pussy! Tell me that you love my pussy!" The last scene is actually supposed to be symbolic. Kendra is being raped, torn at, and beaten by devils, while the guy who is supposed to help her, the priest, does nothing but read the Bible. Not only this, he eventually jumps in and cums on her face. So, Kendra is enraged by this and tears apart the priest's bible to get back at him for not helping her, but still man�that is too far. Shock porn is all good and fine, but you got to draw a line. I had to stop and think about the last scene before writing this because my initial reaction was one of anger due to the desecration of the Holy Bible. Anyway, the actual sex in this movie is incredibly hardcore and hot. Taylor puts forth an AVN nomination caliber effort, making these her most intense scenes ever. Kendra, who in real life has recently become mad at Zupko and Taylor as Tom has left Kendra mostly out of PR for the movie, has some hot anal sex. Cat and Amber made fans out of me as, although the premise of each of their scenes is perverted, they have some hot sex. The editing in the flick is excellent and the camera is always where it needs to be. I'd say that this movie has some great sex, with each girl getting dped and Taylor actually getting her first ever double vaginal, and all of the facials are huge, with no condoms worn. I'd also say that this is DEFINATLEY NOT FOR EVERYONE.
Rating: The Actual Sex- 10(out of 10) Scene 1: Taylor St. Claire ("Taylor�God must have been a fucking genius!"�Al Pacino from "Scent of a Woman") with Luciano (scene lasts for about 47 minutes) Taylor looks unbelievably hot in the beginning of this scene, in a sort of leather schoolgirl get-up, with her hair all curly and breasts beautifully exposed. This beauty is on full display as the scene opens with her on her bed, fingering her ass as she looks at a picture of Luciano. Sharon Kane and Claudio, her supposed parents, are in the other room making fun of her and talking about how she must have been switched at birth. For their own amusement, they call her into the living room and laugh at her as she tries desperately to correctly read a comic book. She can't because she's dyslexic and her parents find this to be hysterical. Taylor is hurt by this and retreats back to her room and her fantasy world with Luciano. To escape it all, Taylor imagines that the picture comes to life. She makes out with Luciano, as he serenades her with words of praise and encouragement. Suddenly, he pulls off part of his scalp and starts choking her and slapping, as he takes parts of his brain and smothers it on her. He stretches out her ass unbelievably far and tells her that she has shit for brains. When it's blowjob time, she tries to go the nice and erotic approach, but Luciano has none of it as he fucks her mouth hard, getting his dick further down her throat than I've ever seen Taylor take one. The actual fucking follows a simple pattern�he fucks her hard, constantly berating her and whenever she tries to defend herself ("I AM smart") he gets pissed and picks up the action, changing positions and increasing the speed. He starts off fucking her pussy hard in sideways missionary, continuing to slap and spit her and then switches to doggy, of course much more brutal in the latter. He stops and beats the shit out of her, trying to force her to consent to him fucking her ass, but she holds out. So, he goes at her pussy even more harder in doggy. By now, although being beaten, she is starting to like the fucking and agrees to the anal part. He starts her out in sideways missionary, and by now Taylor stops defending herself as she starts moaning, "Deeper�All the way In My Asss�Harder!" He does so in doggy style and reverse cowgirl, filling her ass up completely. Eventually, he tries to help her out. He'll stop if she can just spells some simple words. Then, still slowly fucking her ass in reverse cowgirl, he asks her to spell "dog", "house", and "cum". She gets dog confused with cat, but eventually gets it. She gets house confused with hose, but gets it. And she finally spells cum correctly right as he shoots a big fucking load all over her fake-brain covered face. Although this last bit of "spelling lesson" is probably offensive to anyone who is or has experience with dyslexia (my brother was dyslexic), it is pretty fucking erotic as she moans out each individual letter to each word. Scene 2: Cat Langer (Beautiful, natural breasted blonde, her tattoos are covered up by silver bodypaint) with Brian Surewood, Valentino, Rod Fantana and Claudio (scene lasts for about 20 minutes) The guys are all sitting around in Claudio's bar in his home laughing and talking about girls they fucked when Cat, Claudio's supposed daughter, walks in. They all make fun of her and she accidentally spills one of their cups. This enrages Claudio and suddenly they all converge on her, with obvious plans to rape her. Cat escapes in her mind to a place where, from top to bottom, she is painted in silver and her toys come to life and fuck her brains out. All the guys play the parts of the "alive" toys, but I'll just call them by their toy name. The tooth fairy comes in and she sucks his dick as suddenly the zombie comes to life and fucks her pussy, as he moans, "Much better than dead pussy." Cat moans, "Mr. Zombie man, you're going to make me cum," and suddenly a rabbit comes into play. Eventually, an alien pushes Zombie away and fucks her in the same position, as she alternates between sucking the Rabbit and Fairy. The Fairy and Rabbit then double-team her by themselves, both getting to fuck her ass in sideways missionary. They all 4 join in again, as the Fairy fucks her ass in reverse cowgirl, while she sucks the other three guys' dicks. They all shoot big ass loads on her pretty face. Pretty good scene up to this point, but they ruin it by having 3 of them briefly throw up on her pussy�thank god that part was in black and white. The scene ends with a brief shot of her being brutally raped in reality. Minus the last minute and the fact that the rabbit (Claudio) won't shut the fuck up as he constantly hurls out high-pitched, incoherent babblings during the scene, this is actually some hot sex. Scene 3: Amber Wood (beautifully big-breasted brunette) with Luciano and Valentino (scene lasts for about 23 minutes) Basically, Amber and her unnamed boyfriend are parked somewhere, as she is giving him his very first blowjob (what a great feeling.) Luciano and Valentino are two cops and they make them get out of the car and in searching the car, they find some marijuana. When they spread Amber's ass to see if she's hiding drugs, they get horny. So, they take her out to the woods, put down a tarp, and make her handcuffed boyfriend watch as they defile her. During the whole thing, the boyfriend is constantly pleading for them to stop, but Amber never once says a word of complaint. She plays the very, very willing victim. As she briefly sucks both of their cocks, she gets it from both of them in her pussy and then her tight ass in doggy style. She seems to really enjoy the ladder, although she does grimace in what is probably real pain as she does indeed have a really tight ass. They switch to some even hotter sideways missionary before double-penetrating her in cowgirl. Her boyfriend gets real mad during the d.p., saying, "Enough�Cops are supposed to help. Just help us." They give her pussy a break and stretch her ass out more in reverse cowgirl before they both cum all over her face. Afterwards, they leave Amber and her boyfriend pretty much for dead. Claudio, Amber's supposed dead, finds her in the woods and is not worried at all about her having just being fucked by two cops�he is pissed that she took his car. He makes her pay by sucking his dick. For it being forced incest, Amber gives an awesome fucking blowjob to Claudio. She gives one of the wettest and best blowjobs I've seen since Inari Vachs, but the payoff is terrible, as Claudio kind of dribbles onto her chin, as he laughs maniacally into the camera. Scene 4: Taylor St. Claire (cute as a blonde, gorgeous as a brunette) with Brian Surewood (spec. appearances by Sharon Kane and Claudio) (scene lasts for about 25 minutes) Taylor is decked out in a long, blonde wig here, as she is sitting in front of her mirror, telling herself how beautiful she is. She calls her friend on the phone and brags about how she is going to be the prom queen, as the prom is what she is getting ready for. She also calls in a pizza for some reason. When Brian delivers the pizza gets there, he acts weird so Taylor makes fun of him. He gets pissed and forces her onto her bed and pulls off his hat to reveal he has a bullet hole in his forehead. It is here that this turns into a glorified rape scene. He uses his knife to rip her dress off and proceeds to 4 finger both her ass and pussy, which she really loves. As he stretches her ass out, the phone rings and he answers. It's actually her boyfriend and Brian yells at him and puts the phone to the side, saying, "Listen to this!" The boyfriend gets to hear the sounds of a sloppy and wet blowjob, which, although forced on Taylor, is pretty hot. They skip the vaginal formalities and go straight to ass fucking in doggy style. He gives her ass a workout here and during missionary. During the ladder, her mom, Sharon Kane, comes in, with clown face paint on her face and a strap-on around her waist. After some useless sucking of Brian's dick and also the dildo, he returns to her ass in missionary. Then a very hot bit of cowgirl double-penetration, with Sharon pushing in her pussy and Brian defiling her ass. After this, they do something that totally caught me off guard�they double penetrate Taylor's pussy. These two get the honor to be the first ones to hand Taylor St. Claire her first ever double vaginal, just as Tony Tedeschi will always be the first guy to get to fuck her ass (Up and Cummers 81). Either way, Brian must have really loved fucking Taylor (who wouldn't?) as he shoots an unbelievably huge load onto her face. Claudio comes in wearing clown make-up and a diaper for some reason and fingers Taylor's ass. Sharon jerks his load onto Taylor's tits, while Taylor unsuccessfully tries to jerk some more cum out of Brian. Scene 5: Kendra Jade (Gorgeous, but big fake tits distracting) with Anthony Crane, Brandon Irons, Mark Wood and Valentino (scene lasts for about 23 minutes) Anthony Crane is dressed like a priest, as he stands to the corner the whole time and reads "Revelations" from the New Testament of The Bible. The other three guys are dressed like devils. Kendra is laying on her back, covered with worms, before she starts sucking on every body's cock, giving them wet blowjobs. She starts getting her wet pussy fucked hard standing doggie style, while sucking the other devils cocks, as all three of them take their turns fucking her. She starts riding one of the devils cock reverse cowgirl style getting her wet pussy fucked, while continuing to suck the other cocks, before spinning around and getting fucked cowgirl style. She then slides her tight asshole all the way down on a cock reverse cowgirl style, before spinning around and getting her gorgeous ass fucked hard cowgirl style while continuing to suck cocks. She then gets her asshole pounded sideways missionary style and standing doggie style, while sucking her ass juice off their cocks, before they double penetrate her reverse cowgirl style. They slap her face with Anthony's bible before all dropping major loads on her face, including Anthony. It is during the money shot portion of this that you can see how red Kendra's face has gotten from being slapped around during the scene. At scene's end, Kendra takes the Bible and rips pages from it. She says, "Here's what I think of your fucking Bible" and shoves some torn pages up her ass. She tears some more out of it and throws it on the ground, as the scene closes with a close-up of a crucifix. Scene 6: Kristi Myst (Blonde, big tits, gorgeous) with Jake Lawless (scene lasts for about 2 minutes) Kristi and Jake's scene goes on during the whole movie really. Both of them wearing black and white clown face paint, they are supposed to be the narrators of the movie, giving the moral lessons for each scene. At the beginning of each scene, the two of them get it on as they talk about clowns. You briefly see him titty fuck her and see some oral sex in there. During the final credits is the big payoff, as he fucks her pussy hard and fast in standing doggy style. Kristi seems to love it, all the way up to when he cums all over her chin. Interesting Notes During the Credits: I'm sure a lot of people didn't catch this as it runs during the credits�"Special Thanks to God, Death, Fyodor Dostoyevsky and Taylor St. Claire's hot ass"- T. Zupko�.After Kristi's brief scene, Kendra talks into the camera and berates Zupko, calling him a "fat piece of shit". This is supposed to be funny, but in light of the true bitterness these two share towards eachother due to his choice to center on Taylor in marketing of "Ass Clowns" instead of Kendra, this is actually quite ironic...The movie's editor also shows up, berating Zupko for being an anal asshole�There is a 2 minute preview of "Ass Clowns 2", which from the looks of it only had 2 scenes shot at the time the preview was made�.During this preview, a music sample played with a phrase that kept on being repeated. The phrase was, "Try not to suck any dick on your way through the parking lot". They stole this directly from "Clerks". That is what the character Dante says to his girlfriend Veronica in the movie after she leaves the quickstop he works at after a fight. The fight was over her confessing to him that she had given head to 37 guys before him. It is a very funny scene, as right after he says it, a guy that was standing near and heard him say it, follows after Veronica and Dante yells at him, "Hey! Get back here!" Hot Ass Fucking Sex Here, but this was the Most Messed up Porn I've ever seen. As always with my movie reviews if you have any comments, suggestions or info. Specifically about Taylor St. Claire) e-mail me at [email protected]. If you want to read more about Taylor St. Claire, visit my website dedicated to her at www.taylorstclair.homestead.com. Thanks. Beavis
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