Planet Jasmin

From: gangmen@hotmail.com (John)
Subject: Planet Jasmin -- a total waste -- don't rent or buy
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 97 21:13:35
Organization: Sirius Connections

I have been thinking about how to write how horrible this movie is,
but I just keep shaking my head in disbelief.  This monstrosity is
another vehicle from John T. Bone and his media darling, Jasmin St.
Clair.  Two other pornies are featured, Warner (the British lass) and
Hailey, introduced as a Texas girl who likes to fuck.  This is the
first of many exaggerations made in this movie.

The idea is a "gang" of devoted fans get to have their way with three
porn stars, hence the movies alternative title, Bang in the Park.  The
movie starts with Bone telling all that "there are no inhibitions,
there is nobody here who will say no."  "Do whatever you want, if you
want to screw them in the ass, do it, if you want a blow job, do it,
.... etc.."  Nothing could be farther from the truth.  

This film is comparable in heat, I suppose, to the worlds largest gb
#2, another luke warm Bone production with St. Clair.  Here, the
viewer can easily see that St. Clair has been coached to be more
approachable, however, that ruse doesn't last for long.  It's kind of
like morning disk jockeys who (a listener knows) keep thinking, "just
look at how outrageous I am," or, "I know the audience must really be
thinking how on the edge I am", while everyone knows it's a high
school act.   St. Clair is just a waste of a porn star, and, I she is
so shallow and stupid that she is beyond words.  This ice princess
tells some high school jokes throughout the tape, you know, the ones
like "there is a party in the back of my throat and everyone is
coming" and "I've fallen and I can't..."  Oh, that's so funny I forgot
to laugh (did I hear that somewhere).  The best, though, is when she
tells a fan, through very clenched teeth, to come on her tits (or
something like that, it is hard for me to remember).  But the point is
the clenched teeth -- she does not want to be there, not in the park,
not in the state, not in the nation, not in porn.

Anyway, this tape is not worth a rent even for the novelty value,
because it's not novel, the sex is less, much less than dull, and the
"stars" could not give a shit.  Bone should take a cue from Perry, a
fellow would can direct some porn.  

As to the "action" well, there is none.  No condoms but no anal, no
real ocs, nothing but some fans poking a blow up doll.  Even the
sometimes slutty Warner (a dap performer and true swallower) just lies
there and dodges cum.  Give it up Bone and thanks for the warning that
there will be more of these.