Buttman In Barcelona

From: "JMT" <michaelt@usit.net>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: Review #9 Buttman in Barcelona
Date: Sun, 01 Jun 97 10:01:46


This tape has a weird feel to it, due in part to the news Buttman is HIV
positive, but mainly because it's such a quite tape. The women in this
tape, none of whom I've ever heard of, remain, for the most part,
disconcertingly quiet during the sex. It almost makes you think the women
of Barcelona are stuck in another era, perhaps one when women kept silent
during sex because it was the "expected thing."

It's tempting to wax poetic about this tape, since it'll probably be the
last Buttman video, but I'll resist that tempation. But I do have one
question. When it was first posted that Buttman was HIV positive, some
posters to rame were almost psychotic in their assertion they would hunt
down and maim anyone who dared to ask what was going to become of the
Buttman series. This was a man just given a death sentence, for God's sake.
How can you even think about movies at a time like this?

Well, I'm sorry, but I would like to know. I have every Buttman tape ever
made, minus the R-rated stuff. (Seems to kind of defeat the point.) I'm a
longtime follower, and admirer, of the man. I was stunned and saddened when
I heard about the diagnosis. But I'm curious. Two things stand out in my
mind. Stagliano could conceivably live for much longer, even leading a
healthy life. Not all that time will be spent in clinics. He has made the
assertion he's an atheist, so I doubt he'll spend the time "saving his
soul." (Unless he's an enormous hypocrite.) So, why shouldn't he do whathe
obviously loves, which is aiming a camera at women's butts?

Two, even if he suddenly dies tomorrow, Stagliano's footage has always been
several months old when it's released, meaning he had to have some kind of
backlog. Not to mention footage he never used. I'm a big enough fan thatI
would buy a tape of his leftover scraps. I get the feeling it would be
better than most of the stuff out there. So, any plans to release backedup
footage?

But enough of that. On with the review.

A lot of people have contended that all of Buttman's tapes are pretty much
the same. Well, that may be true, but for Christ's sake, this is porn. They
have to be the same. Like an action movie, where the bad guy has to die in
the final reel, a porn movie has to have come deposited somewhere on a
woman's body when a scene ends. Without the standards, you really don't
have a porn movie. You have one of those lame erotic movies you find in the
back corner of the video store.

The difference is how you get there. Take a cruise with Bruce Willis or
Jackie Chan and you might feel cheated on story, but, dammit, you know
you've been on a hell of a stylish ride. Then check out one of those
actioners starring Frank Stallone or of the lesser Baldwin brothers, and
you feel like you've been riding in a 72 Volkswagen with a flat tire.

Same way with porn. Watch a Buttman and you feel like you pounded a
succession of pussies and buttholes even though you weren't physically
involved. Then watch something from, say, Leisure Time, and you'll be left
marveling at how little your dick can shrink.

So, keeping in mind that creativity is not what we're looking for here,
let's do a scene by scene rundown. (See, even the reviews adhere to a
strict formula.)

In "Buttman in the Crack" (which did display some creativity) Stagliano
introduced a new guy named the Hatman. An in shape, middle-aged guy withan
engaging personality, Hatman displayed both acting ability and whatever it
takes to keep his dick hard.You kind of get the feeling this guy has been
trying for years to break into the "real" acting world and finally said,
fuck it, and got into porn. Not a bad career move, at least from my view
point. Wish I could do it.

Either way, Buttman is walking the streets of Barcelona, after dark, when
Hatman appears out of a "crack" in the wall, wearing his hat and twirling a
cane. They exchange some banter, it's actually not tiresome, and then
proceed to stalk Stephanie Silver through the streets until the manage to
get her into a hotel room.

Silver, a brunette with stunning blue eyes, is one of those aforementioned
quiet porn actresses. Despite the fact that Hatman, despite his age, gives
her a good, hard pounding, she never makes a sound. It's odd watching
Hatman nearly give himself a heart attack while the woman just looks
around, never even cracking a smile, much less making any noise.

Suffice it to say, this drags the scene down, but despite her vocal
shortcomings, Stephanie is lovely and does have a sweet ass (though it
doesn't get penetrated) and isn't that what we're here for after all?

The next scene features Buttman mainstay Dario (Rocco) and Elizabeth Shay,
who looks exactly like Jodi Foster. I mean she is an exact twin of Foster.
It's scary. Guys (and gals) if you have a Jones for Jodi Foster, you must
get this tape. And Buttman's Britist Extremely Big Tit Adventure, which she
is also in.

Having said that, I must also say that Shay is another quiet actress whose
personality comes off as a little "out there." She barely makes a peep as
Rocco gives her his patented fuck 'em til you think they'll break
poundings, and seems, at times, to not even realize where she's at or what
she's doing. I've heard that there is drug use in porn, not that I was
surprised, but it's always disheartening to see the actual results.

So, unless you want to see Jodi Foster get fucked by a nine inch dick,
(there's no anal, by the way) you can skip this scene. Unless you like
being creeped out, that is.

Things pick up in the third scene. Buttman and Hatman come across a woman
outside the Gaudi Cathedral (that's what it says on the boxcover) and soon
come across a couple. They talk awhile, take pictures, then end up in one
of the hotel rooms Buttman always has ready, just in case.

This scene contains the first anal in the tape as Hatman and some foreign
dweeb name Oliver Sanchez get to buttbang Lucie and Maria Snachez (Oliver's
wife? Girlfriend? Sister?). This isn't Buttman's best scene, but Lucie and
Maria are borderline cute and Hatman contiues to display a level of
enthusiasm, and dick strength, that the younger guys in this business could
take lessons from.

I pretty much enjoyed this scene, but that could be a reaction to the
dullness of the first two scenes. You can make up your own mind.

The next scene contains one of my all time favorite things. A trashy
looking blonde with a big butt in tattered blue jean shorts. It also
contains one of my least favorite things, the sight of Valentino who surely
has to be the creepiest guy to ever crawl across the porn landscape.

Valentino and Buttman stalk the blonde, Sheherazade, (you'll understand if
I just call her the blonde) down a boardwalk in Barcelona, with Buttman
zooming in on her delicious lookind behind. They eventually catch up with
her, only to discover she's with some loser who backs away and let's the
guys do what they want.

They end up in a beachside hotel room, surprise, and Valentino (shudder)
proceeds to fuck her in all holes before desperately whacking a semi limp
dick off onto her face.

I rate this scene high because I love trashy blondes. I rate it low because
Valentino looks like an escaped serial killer. Oh, quandries!

And it continues into the next scene! After spending way too much time
letting Pamela Dregez pose on a balcony, she hauled back into the hotel
room where Valentino gives her a hearty buttfucking while some foreign
hostile named Alex Mantegna fights to keep an erection.

Pamela is cute in a "man, she's ugly enough I might even get to fuck her"
way, but combine Valentino's creepiness with the other guy's lack of a
hard-on, and it would be hard to recommend this scene to a friend. But,
since I don't know any of you, check it out :-)

In the final scene, we pretty much end up where we started. Hatman and a
silent brunette chick. The only difference here is they meet outdoors in
the daylight before returning to the hotel room.

Actually, the girl, Belinda, is very good looking and takes Hatman up her
butt with no problem. The real problem, as it is with the entire tape, is
how quiet it all is. From the meeting in the park to the sex, there's
barely anything on the soundtrack. It's almost like the quiet before the
storm, which it may have been as Stagliano could have been mere days away
from the encounter with the infamous transvestite.

In conclusion, not a bad tape, but not a great one. Eliminate the first two
scenes and put somebody less creepy in Valentino's place and it's actually
pretty good. The women are cute in a non-fashion model way and Hatman,
despite being an "old man" is turning out to be quite a discovery.

Still, I'd hate for this to be Buttman's swan song. He's meant too much to
me over the years.

JMT




Created: June 01, 1997 -- 11:49 PM
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