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Newsgroups: rec.arts.movies.erotica
Subject: DVD Review: Asian Sex Superstars
From: thom_burr@webtv.net (Thom Burr)
Reply-To: thom_burr@webtv.net
Date: Sat, 04 May 2002 22:08:29 EDT

Asian Sex Superstars is a very mediocre title that comes perilously close to being a flat-out rip-off. Of the five scenes, only two feature Japanese starlets, and both have problematic video quality. The remaining three scenes feature iffy-looking American girls, one of which isn't even Asian (which is where the rip-off begins to factor in...). So this disk is a definite skip/miss. Not worth a rental, not even really worth a look, considering how much Asian porn of endlessly better quality there is available out there.

Just about the only thing going for this DVD is the boxcover girl, Kaoru. Supposedly, her full name is Kaoru Mochida, but my cursory check of a couple Japanese porn sites didn't turn her up, suggesting that she's not exactly a mega-idol AV girl over there (if that's even her full screen name...). That said, Kaoru is a knockout on the boxcover, which would go a long way to explain why I bought this pathetic disk in the first place. It didn't hurt that this was one of the first DVDs released in the Asian genre, resulting in even higher sales...I saw it on a very large porn DVD retailer's "Best Seller's of All Time" for a couple years after I got it (the cover is that catchy), so at least I was in good company.

Anyway, let me get to why this is such an annoying porn vid...

Scene I: Kaoru. She shows up in Ian Daniel's low-grade motel room, wearing her boxcover outfit, hair in two ponytails, just as advertized. Kaoru does in fact look as cute as her picture, and unlike so many Japanese AV girls, she actually has breasts (B/C cup, but that's impressive, considering). And she's very Japanese, going through the scene in classic AV style, completely submissive, chirping and mewing here and there, not intiating anything.

The action is heavy on foreplay, but they hit most of the standard heterosex positions once the actual sex starts (which is rather tame, I should add)...The scene lasts about 20 minutes; yes, there is a condom; Ian flubs the facial by hitting her neck instead; and, you lnow, this would have been a fairly good scene were it not so OVEREXPOSED. Apparently, Mr. Cameraman forgot to check his light meter, because the sunlight glaring through the windows of this washes out about half of the footage here. And I'm also guessing the lens was very dusty, given all the little sparkly motes caught in the glare...It's stil watchable, but it's also very annoying. All told, this one passable scene is pretty much the only one of the five worth looking at. The other four don't really even rate.

Scene II: Kanako and a Japanese guy. Kanako is a fairly typical Japanese porn girl (a little taller and willowy than most, maybe), and the scene is again shot in a hotel room (apparently somewhere in Japan, although there is no pixellation anywhere here or anywhere else in the vid)--only this time, the scene is UNDEREXPOSED, resulting very dim and grainy video, to the point of being nearly unwatchable. The sex comforms to the boring Japanese porn template, complete with an annoying sex toy. The combintaion of bad video and dull sex kills any interest here. Chapter skip...

Scene III: Shawnee. If I remember right, Shawnee is Thai-American, which while definitely ethnic Asian, is nonetheless a very different look from the two Japanese girls. And while Shawnee had her better moments, she doesn't look very good here...Her hair is a mess and her make-up seems to scream attention to her overly wide mouth...Shawnee does have a great body, though. The condomzied sex hits most of the standard positions, and the scummy guy manages a fairly good facial (which is all the same ruined by the closeup of the sore on Shawnee's tongue...). Not really worth checking out.

Scene IV: Kiki Morgan (AKA Kalani). Who is NOT Asian. She looks very, very Caucasian/European/White to me--they didn't even make her up (with mascara tricks) to look like she was Asian (although the IAFD lists her as starring in at least one other Asian vid and two two Hispanic titles--whatever...). Oh, and her breasts are very, very fake. If this isn't bad enough, the sex is tepid (no condom, who cares at this point) and there is no facial. Pathetic and deceptive.

Scene V: Miki Le. Ian nails an Asian-American girl with a condom. The girl is a plain and has an annoying tattoo on her rear; Ian manages only a barely passable facial. Another sad excuse for a scene, thankfully concluding this low-grade loser porn vid.

DVD picture is rather bad in the first two scenes, but improves in the last three. Sound quality is okay. There are no DVD extras aside from a slideshow, which is particularly annoying as the boxcover promises an interview Ian, which is most definitely NOT there. One (and only one) positive note--The menus are very professionally done, if that floats your boat...Yowzah yowzah.

Obviously, Asian Sex Superstars owes what commerical success it had (I could swear I saw this vid on every bestseller list for months and months) to the fact that for a good while, it was virtually the only Asian DVD out there in 1998. At the time of this writing, it is 2002, and, take my word for it, there is enough great Asian porn on DVD that you should never have to so much as touch this disk, much less watch it. Unless it's free, or something. I mean, I'm not throwing away my copy...Kaoru is cute; it's just a pity they couldn't shoot her scene right...

review #LXXIX

thom_burr@webtv.net