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From: Patrick Riley <p_riley@pipeline.com>
BARELY LEGAL #10 Another disappointment from the Hustler people with the only upside being the quality of Kima Lee and Annie and the newness of Monica and Phoenix. Three of the five scenes are worse than any plotted movie in their sterility and sense of "Let's just get this over with," and for the other two, Candy in the first is pudgy, and Tiffany in the last, is overexposed and, although chronologically "barely legal", well into the hardened whore stage. As usual, voice over is used to explain the premise and the acting ranges from non-existent to unbelievable. {Woodshop}: Candy (long reddish-brown hair, marginal face, medium/large tits, racing stripe, no obvious tattoos, and a voluptuous body) arrives in a woodworking shop and tells the head guy, Nick (not Nick East--all the cast are credited by their first name only), that she's the replacement worker. He's amused and tells her to change it her overalls and while doing so she takes a pee in the toilet (we watch). When she returns Nick starts to instruct her in the use of one of the machines but as she tells us in voice over she's hot for his body so, the other workers having conveniently disappeared, they screw ending in a tit cum shot. {Tourist Trap}: Phoenix (see {Young Muff #4}--pretty, tall, lithe, small tits) tells us that she broke up with her boyfriend and then went on vacation to a seaside resort in what appears to be Mexico. We see her on the beach and then shopping for souvenirs and during this she keeps running into aging Dick Nasty. Later, she's out on a country dirt road thumbing a ride and who picks her up but Dick Nasty. She has to pee so he suggests an off road area where she urinates (not much) on the ground while he watches. She then makes a lunge for his dick and they screw on a convenient blanket ending in a facial. None of the setup here sounded even remotely believable. Why was she out in the country without transportation? Why didn't she just pee before trying to thumb a ride? Why would she let Dick watch? And lastly, why would she let this ageing lothario touch her? During the sex itself he looks like he has wood problems and she looks like she'd prefer to be anywhere but under Dick. {The Den}: Annie (long wavy brown hair, square shoulders, passable face, medium tits, belly button ring, tight waist, flat belly, no obvious tattoos, and a lithe hard body) says that she's finished her homework and invites her girlfriend, Kima (credits: just Jade--see {Real Sex Magazine #36}--model quality, lithe hard body, and some small tattoos) around to join her in her father's den. They watch a porno on TV and this turns them on so they both masturbate and then do one of the most clumsy g/g's I've seen. These girls are undeniably good looking but they obviously have no interest in doing sex with each other (nor probably anyone else). {Movie Star}: Monica is an Australian movie star (according to her in voice over) who's being interviewed by Clive on the set of a talk show for television. She's either drunk or just wilful and at every opportunity she does things like show her pussy to the camera which means that they have to start again. They give up and go home so she pees on the floor of the studio and then being horny, gets the grip (lighting guy) to screw her ending in a facial. This is another lousy scene with Monica getting caught looking at the camera, appearing bored, and at other times just lying there observing. She has a passable face, shoulder length blonde hair, plucked eyebrows, small tits, shaven pussy, flat belly, no obvious tattoos, and a lithe body. {Dreaming}: Tiffany tells us that she doesn't have sex except in her dreams so after we see her strip and admire herself in the mirror (she does have an adorable, if tall, body), she hops into bed and presumably dreams what we see next. Joel, wearing a stocking mask, burglarizes her apartment and after looking though some drawers and at her sleeping body is spooked when she wakes. He tries to leave but she runs after him and drags him back to her bed where they screw (she's the aggressor) ending in a belly cum shot. Aw, gee, they missed another good setup. Joel should have put his hand across her mouth and then raped her nicely and gently. Isn't that what lots of women supposedly fantasize about? No condoms were used. Date of production: 11/16/00 (box); 2/15/01 (movie).
Patrick Riley
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