The Uranus Experiment


From: espectador@atdot.org (Espectador)
Subject: A short review of the Uranus Experiment
Date: Sat, 22 May 99 09:38:21 
Organization: University of Jyvaskyla, Finland

I read on Private's website that part 2 of Uranus Experiment will feature
music by (members of) Massive Attack and Prodigy. Intrigued by this I
was afraid I would be missing a true porn classic by not watching these
videos. 

So I rented part 1 of the saga.

Shouldn't have bothered. It was bad. Very bad.

The story involves a US-Russian joint mission to Uranus. (How they are
planning to get there with just two space shuttles is beyond me. The person
responsible for the script likely doesn't give a fuck.) There is a Russian
plot which involves female KGB agents collecting sperm samples from US
astronauts before the flight takes place. When the two shuttles are in orbit
and docked, the US and Russian mission commanders have sex. This
unplanned-by-the Americans event is broadcast all over the world. A Russian
scientist has invented a serum that makes people horny. It is tested on a
frigid female scientist who proceeds to fuck a male student. There is an
internal investigation at the NASA headquarters which turns into an orgy.
What's the point of all this? Who knows.

This video suffers from bad acting, awful dubbing and uninspired camerawork. 
All the non-sex scenes are static and boring, with people just sitting
around, looking uncomfortable and talking with badly dubbed voices. 

The sex is softer than the usual Private style. The anal aficionados have to
wait for and hour and a half before the first butthole is penetrated. Said 
hole belongs to the black girl Bettina who was the only one I found 
interesting in the cast. (I know lots of people are gaga over Silvia Saint, 
who is also in this video, but...) 

There's a lot of girl-girl action, which in itself wouldn't be bad, if it
was well done. No such luck.

The much advertised zero gravity cumshot seemed to be just an ordinary
cumshot, only with the picture upside down to make it look a bit strange. 

The whole production looks cheap and cheesy. The space shots are done with
crudely rendered computer graphics. No special effects, no eye candy.
Boring, boring, boring.

Why on earth would the likes of Massive Attack want to have anything to do
with this production?

Umm, one other thing. Is this supposed to take place in an alternate reality
where the Soviet Union never split up?

My advice would be to avoid this one like the plague.

  E
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Created: June 03, 1999 -- 03:37 PM