The Imperial Reviews: Volume 31


Write to Imperator at imp@rame.net

RATINGS SCALE AND COPYRIGHT DISCLAIMER

On this scale of 0 to 4, with a precision of 0.05:

COPYRIGHT NOTICE

This message is copyright (c) by Imperator, email imp@rame.net Anybody wishing to archive/redistribute my reposts and new reviews for non-commercial purposes can do so as long as:

Commercial use of the material without my express written permission is prohibited.


Yes, I know it's been something like nine months since the last installment, but I'm afraid that as long as the UK insists on being socially retarded, my porn intake will remain limited. Oh, I *do* get around the ban but my consumption is nowhere near to what I was accustomed to in the Continent or the US. The tapes I see tend to be classics (of course) and... well, how shall I put this?

Hardcore vs Softcore and the Great Betrayal :-)

Yes, today we're also witnessing an Imperial first: reviews of SOFTCORE. I'm sure that several die-hard hardcorers must be wincing. To those I can only say "so sue me" :-). Others are surely shaking their heads sadly and thinking "Look what the Brits have done to an institution of hardcore reviewing like Imp" (hey! I've always admitted I have a HUGE ego :-)). I must insist for the sake of this lot that I have always been quite a big fan of softcore; it's not the fault of the Brits (for a change). Naturally, when my supply of hardocore was plentiful and of good quality, my interest in softcore inevitably fell, though never to zero. There's my dark secret, out in the open! :-)

My main source of dissatisfaction with hardcore is that, more often than not, it forgets that the primary erogeneous zone in humans is the brain. It's all very well casting gorgeous women and showing them with the proper amount of full-bodied shots. RCs and anals and outdoor scenes and orgies are wonderful to watch and there is even enjoyment in some solo scenes since you can feast your eyes on the wonders of the female form. But, there is nothing more erotic IMHO than a hot sex scene being set up by a good premise. By good, I don't necessarily mean plausible. There is much to recommend in sex comedies if the humour is good, and humourous premises don't need to be plausible.

Unfortunately there are very few hardcore movies nowadays that will make the cut according to this criterion. Indeed, the very certainty of having hardcore sex in great quantities does much to destroy the thrills one may get from even well made films. So, people (myself included) will now and then check up on softcore in the forlorn hope that good premises can be found, even at the expense of sexual heat.

Unfortunately, softcore can be even worse. As will be discussed below, 90s US softcore is even more formulaic than hardcore. And the heat may be lacking to such an extent as to make the whole excerise pointless. There is an undeniable gap between the more imaginative hardcore features and the hottest softcore ones, and unfortunately many people's tastes, including most couples I am familiar with, fall into this gap. It may therefore be that couples will find today's monster (when it gets going at last :-)) more useful than the battle-hardened hardcorer.

I can't deny that I have an ulterior motive as well. I used to enjoy very much the softcore discussion this group was filled with at the first months of its existence and am sorry to see it decline to its present level. So I am now doing my bit to help revive it.

So, let's examine some of the options available:

SOME SOFTCORE OPTIONS

Electric Blue (British softcore video magazine)

Let us first deal with a venerable institution of British erotica for the last 15-odd years, and a faithful companion of mine back in my formative years, before I was fully converted to hardocore (hmm, let's say back when I was between 14 and 17 :-)): the Electric Blue (EB) video magazine series.

I used to be very fond of this series. Oh, if you look at it through the jaded eyes of the 1000+ hardcore hound it is boring and laughable. Each tape consists of a series of loops, mostly solo girl (and no dildos or fingers-in-pussy allowed, mind you), a bit of very soft g-g and simulated b-g and some recycled celebrity nudes. There are some specials, which will be covered in more detail below, but on the whole the sexual imagery is very, very soft even by British standards. Speaking of which, I must remind the reader that by being British, these tapes conform to the ridiculous legistlation of that country with respect to penises, open-legged shots of women and the notorious "maximum 9 seconds of simulated sex footage before the obligatory camera angle change" rule. This is definetely NOT jack-off material, even for the most sexually uninformed high-school pupil :-).

BUT, I don't know. There's something... well, *cute* about it. It may be that I still find it shockingly amusing to see the normally so uptight British tinkering with erotica. Or rather, let me amend: there seem to be two sorts of British: there are the uptight lot with their remnants of Victorian morality; and then there are the naughty British who are so infinitely amusing. Perhaps it is through their reaction to the crusty image of their compatriots in general that the Brits make such GREAT naughty boys (and lads, it must be said). Their sexual slang is so much funnier than its American counterpart (no small feat), and they have this open-eyed, "this cannot be happening, man!" attitude to matters relating to the procreation of the species that is unique. Unfortunately in British softcore videos, EB not excepted, you only get flashes of this attitude. It is still unique though. In hardcore there is only Stagliano who can come close, and that's perhaps the main reason I like him so much (though he's a genius in more ways than one). But Stagliano is more the obsessive type rather than the naughty little boy.

I must stress once again that this is my personal reaction to this sort of erotica (and I use the term loosely). I am definetely an exception, if I judge by the reaction to this series from people I have spoken with. So, I will not make any recommendations on this subject and accordingly will not award a rating.

EB has grown to be a whole industry. They used to import cut versions of the US classics, such as "Sex Boat", under their "Electric Hollywood" label. In recent years, they have expanded to all sorts of niche markets but these should not interest anybody in my opinion. Here I will only cover the first 20 parts of the original video magazine as a group.

EB #1 dates back to the Seventies if I remember well. This is more of an attempt to make a British version of a Playboy-type video, so in addition to the obligatory (and very long) solo-girl and g-g sessions there is stuff about Indy Car racing and fashion and what-have-you. This era lasted up to #5. There is some celebrity nudes to take note of here, such as clips from Jacqueline Bisset's and Brit Eckland's erotic thrillers and comedies of the early 70s. Nothing you can't find elsewhere really.

After #5, an era of cooperation with the hardcore industry began. Big names of hardcore hosted each video (Desiree Cousteau in, if I remember well, #6, Seka in nos 7,11, Marilyn Chambers in nos 5,9) and starred in brief softcore scenes. Very notable for me was Ginger Lynn in #15, my first exposure to her (I was young and unwise :-). At least that scene drove me to start renting her hardcore stuff). After #15 this presence became even more pronounced with the inclusion in each video of a movie-within-a-movie storyline with scenes scattered among the standard loops of British girls taking their clothes off, or Electric Blue's travelling nude dancer troupe. I still don't know whether there are hardcore versions of these loops. I would appreciate any input (Patrick/Peter, that means you :-)). It would be great if there *were* hardcore versions, 'cos some of the setups where great. I still remember fondly "Bobby's Boobies" in #15, an amusing spoof of Charle's Angels with Candy Samples, Annie Sprinkle and Julia Parton as the boobies. Or the sex-ed class storyline in #17 with Ginger Lynn in the lead.

Other than that, there were some homegrown talent to take notice off. Page-3 girl Debbie Ashby hosted #20 but it was nothing that great really. Much more interesting was pin-up girl and one-time "editor" of British Penthouse, Linzi Drew. Apart from being a very sexy lady (witness her rare hardocore g-g scenes in "Dirty Woman #1,2" and Stagliano's "Bouncing British Girls") Linzi also tended to push the limits of British censorship to their limits. I still don't know how they let the g-g session in #17 go through, since there is a clear rimming shot to be seen :-).

As I said above, I really can only recommend this to the adventurous or the terminally curious.

Playboy and Penthouse

Let's examine now the more mainstream softcore options available to couples. There is Playboy and Penthouse to begin with. I must really strongly recommend against Playboy. I am a lifetime subscriber to the magazine and my collection is nothing to be laughed at (yep, I'm bragging :-)), but I still haven't seen a decent video from them. Not that I bother checking on them any more, I've given up.

If you believe that Andrew Blake is cold and sterile and if Michael Ninn's 4-second cuts give you migraines, well, there is always Playboy to console you; there ARE worse things in this world. I can only say that at least Blake's photography is sensational and Ninn is hardcore. Playboy is neither; their "artistic" imagery is pathetic, the heat noexistent, the technical merit commonplace and the editors should be shot. To add insult to injury, even the Playmates have gone downhill in the last 2 years or so. No "name recognition" thrills are going to compensate for the destruction of so much natural female beaty in the altar of some corporate beauty ideal. Avoid avoid AVOID. While you're at it, avoid their channels as well. I will still buy the magazine, if only for the sake of tradition and the continuity of my collection.

Rather surprisingly, Penthouse does much better. I can barely tolerate the magazine (the pictorials are fine, but the articles are so terrible, particularly the "letters" section) but I have no problem with the videos. The softer ones are essentially striptease loops with no simulated sex, while the "harder" ones have quite a bit of action, mostly of the g-g variety. There is much to enjoy in them, particularly the softer variants. True, there is no sex, but there is plenty of time to enjoy the wonders of the female form. Unlike Playboy, the shots are more patient, though not without avoiding the annoying cuts. Perhaps this is due to the fact that Penthouse is not trying to project a "clean-cut" image like its rival; they, justifiably, find nothing wrong with female genitals and hence don't try to hide them.

The simulated sex variant is less satisfying. Personally I find loops with simulated sex exceedingly boring, as they lack softcore's main appeal, erotic premises. If I simply want to look at beautiful women having sex, hardcore is perfectly sufficient. So, such tapes are only recommended to the most squeamish of couples, though I fail to see why such customers would tolerate female homosexuality (the norm in such videos) more than erect penises or penetration. Another of the Great Unanswered Questions, I guess.

"Erotic" thrillers & Gregory Hippolyte fare

Moving on to softcore with a plot. In the US this is nowadays exclusively of the "Erotic Thriller" variety, a longtime sickness that has been greatly aggravated since the inexplicable success of "Basic Instinct". If you think that hardcore is formulaic (it is), do not be deluded into seeking refuge in this stuff. It can be summarized as T&A&G (G for guns). Even the quasi-Zalman King stuff nowadays has at least a couple of shootings. Being a very anti-gun, anti-machismo person, I find this type of "redeeming social value" added to a video made primarily for sexual tittilation particularly repulsive. Not to mention hypocritical. I can't remember who it was that summarized western (and I would venture, judaeo-christian) morality as an equation, but it went like this:

1000 bloodless shootings (a la John Wayne) = 50 bloody shootings (a la Arnie) = 10 gruesome murders (a la Tarantino) = 10 sets of T&A = 5 pussies = 1 penis (flaccid). Erect penises are the ultimate taboo.

Even for those who really don't mind this, there is no escaping the fact that erotic thrillers are neither erotic nor thrilling. They are more boring than a gang-bang video, and that's saying a lot. I've seen more than a few in my time and I slept right through them. Worst of the lot are the Shannon Tweed vehicles, particularly the ones with Andrew Stevens. Now, I like the looks of Ms. Tweed, actually far more nowadays than in her early 80s Playboy phase. There's something in the mature, full-bodied look that I guess appeals to the high school student buried inside my psyche (or something :-)). But the videos she's in...ugh! Boring, formulaic affairs, with recycled plots and lots and lots of redeeming social value murders. As terrible are the various Joan Severance videos, "Lake Consequence" being the worst of the lot.

A little more interesting (i.e. interesting enough to watch on a dull night on HBO or Showtime) are those erotic thrillers featuring some sort of celebrity, say Teri Hatcher (whom I personally find repulsive, but she seems to be some sort of Net pinup), or Gillian Anderson (even more repulsive, puke), Kim Catrall, Bo Derek etc., solely for the novelty value of name recognition. But still that's not much.

Perhaps the best of the lot are the ones by Greg Hippolyte, read Greg Dark. It's hard to pinpoint why these videos are almost tolerable. They are still formulaic and, honestly, you can easily find far prettier women in porn. OK, so I wouldn't mind Shannon Whirry in a porn flick, she's a handsome enough woman; but we really see such great beauty in porn, that these films have little to offer us. In any case, there are quite a few hardcore starlets in there as well. That said, I think that some of Greg's hardcore talent spills over to his Hippolyte persona, and despite the limitations of the genre he manages to shoot something that is (barely) watchable.

My advice to couples is once again: avoid the whole genre.

"Emmanuelle" and other European softcore

The golden age of European softcore is now long past. In the 70s there was not only plenty of high profile softcore films (which we'll examine below) but also quite a few of decent sex comedies and trashy action adventures. Even the "women-in-prison" formula (you know, gorgeous inmates, sadistic lesbian warden and her male underling raping them, sensational escape in the end and bloody vengeance), worked far better then. A couple of years ago I found a tape in Philly called "Island Women", perhaps THE best movie of this kind I've seen. It was dubbed, most probably from the French, and looked 10-15 years old at least, but there were no cast lists or anything to go by. Still, it was a great trashy flick, despite the inevitable shootout in the end.

Everybody is familiar with "Emannuelle" of course. I actually like these films quite a bit. A lot of this has to do naturally with that great Dutch export, Silvia Kristel, a really fine looking woman. The plot (at least of the first 3 installments), though undeniably dated, is interesting enough to keep you watching and the erotic setups are frequently very good. Perhaps the hottest of the series is #4 (the one in Brazil) and perhaps the most disappointing is #5, despite Monique Gabrielle. If anyone out there has lived in a cave for the last 20 years, go out and rent this piece of history and try not to think how much better the hardcore classics of that era were.

David Hamilton's films ("Bilitis", "Tendres Cousines", "Premiers Desirs" etc) are also OK. They are very, very soft but the cinematography is not bad at all and one may say that some of the erotic tension ("Bilitis" being the original and best in this respect) is quite effective. But again, there are so many hardocore classics who are as good, or better, and *they* have real sex.

*Not* OK in my book is "L' Histoire d' O", but that's because I find S&M repulsive (I didn't say "ban it", mind you). So, I can't be a fair judge on this.

I will not examine mainstream erotic films like "Ai No Corida" since they were not meant to be sexually titillating, at least not primarily. There are "arty" films of course that are SO terrible, that the only refuge for the poor movie goer are the nude charms of this or the other French actress (they usually are French, and they usually tackle out :-)). Only last week I was suckered into watching Antonioni's "Beyond the Clouds", perhaps THE definition of pretentious, clicheed, "arty" European dreck. I only suffered through this interminable horror because of the generous nudity, some of it of really excellent quality (Sophie Marceau, yummy!). The same analysis holds for that other pompous little number, "Henry and June". I could go on. Even in *well* made arty films however you can't get tittilated, the art gets in the way of the gonads. So, a 16-year old Julie Delpy may chuck it all away in "Le Passion Beatrice" and gorgeous Emmanuelle Beart may be naked for 3 out of the 4 hours of "La Belle Noiseuse", but there won't be any sexual thrills for you there, folks.

There is naturally the huge area of 60s-70s nudies/roughies etc, but this is a subject of its own (perhaps some of you would like to contribute ;-)). I have to say though that Russ Meyer was uneven in quality. I still love to watch "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" though, despite the near-absence of nudity, it's so *gross* :-).

HARDCORE OPTIONS: Classics

The moral of the (very long) story is that a good classic is almost always the best choice. What a surprise, I know.

Portrait of Seduction (1976)

Let's prove this by examining a film with a plot not infrequent in softcore, the seduction of a young stepmother by the son. Spinelli's "Portrait of Seduction" (1976) is one of the finest films of the Golden Age. Vicky Lyon, wife of 70s mainstay Turk Lyon and a very good looking woman indeed, plays the stepmother and Jon Martin plays the son. There is also the father and the son's girlfriend but my memory's playing tricks with me again and Peter will have to come to the rescue :-). As a film, it has its limitations; technically it's not much, there's too much closeup, the... thing who plays the stepmother's mother looks ridiculous (is that a man in drag, Peter?), and Jon Martin can't act, period. As erotica however, it works brilliantly. The erotic tension is at times as good as in "Talk Dirty To Me", and *that* film is an Imperial 4.00. The sex itself, when it's not ruined by the excessive closeup is scorching. Vicky Lyon does two anals in the process, unfortunately rather ruined by the CU once again. Despite all that I heartily recommend it to everybody, couples included, and rate it a 3.40.

Hot Raquets

Drama is all very fine, but nothing beats a good porn comedy IMHO. "Hot Raquets", a wonderful 1978 fluffer by McCallum, may be a bit hard to find nowadays, but boy is it worth seeking! Its leading lady is nowadays famous for her exploits in the producer/director/porn visionary field, but let's never forget that Candida Royalle was herself a porn starlet of some note. Nowadays Candida is a well preserved, classy and articulate lady in her 40s; and a lady with a vision, so more power to her, whether one likes her films or not. But back then she was *gorgeous*. Wow. Woof. Gimme gimme gimme. Not everybody's gonna share this enthusiasm I'm sure, particualrly those who want their women wafer thin. I, on the other hand, infatuated with the 60s and all, am an absolute sucker for long, straight hair and the rest of the hippy look. Candida is also cute and voluptuous in her way, as well as natural and very...earthly. Yum.

Not that the rest of the cast should be scoffed at, not with another 70s fave of mine in the cast, Cris Cassidy (another of the long straight hair brigade). And everybody I'm sure is some sort of a Desiree Cousteau fan. Add to the mix Rhonda Jo Petty, Connie Petersen and another long time fave, Laurien Dominique and you have some starting material.

And McCallum doesn't waste it. Apart from not using Candida and Cris in a g-g, qualifying a major waste of opportunity (damn!), he manages perfectly to make a cute, enjoyable romp with tons of hot sex, and (somehow) two sex scenes out of each principal. Production values are high and the sex scenes take place in nice places sich as pools, massage rooms, even greenhouses. Finally, the acting is perfectly acceptable. Jon Martin is a ham of course, but even his wooden overacting (yes, this is possible with Johnnie!) is part of the fun.

Wonderful. Grab it. Rating: 3.80

Babyface

Ah, DeRenzy's marvellous tale of the life of a male prostitute is one of the all time classics. Even at the umpteenth viewing it's hard not to watch it in its entirety. The sex is great but it's also *fun*, and this is the reason I think that most of the ladies I have recommended it to have greatly enjoyed it.

Dan Roberts is a a good-hearted giant working down at the docks, but his taste for under-age girls (Lynn Cuddles Malone -not a real 15 year old of course) lands him in trouble with the law. In an attempt to escape he ends up in the sea and passes out. He is rescued by two girls (Amber Hunt -yummy- and Linda Wong) who recruit for a male brothel. Dan joins a very young Joey Silvera (unbelievable, I know :-)), Paul Thomas and a host of other fellas serving suburban wives, race car drivers (Sandi Pinney), insatiable rock stars (Christine Heller - a GREAT scene) and...psychos. Well, you'll find out for yourself if you watch it.

Even when the storyline goes a bit.. well, tangential :-), "Babyface" remains a thoroughly enjoyable wacky comedy. As for the sex, this is DeRenzy at his best, not only in terms of good camera work. DeRenzy's strength is I think the editing, which makes a scene mount up to a crescendo of lust. The gang-bang on Christine Heller is a good example of how he manages. He's no longer my favourite porn director (Spinelli and McCallum are fighting hard for the title) but he's still a giant.

Another keeper. Rating 3.60.

HARDCORE OPTIONS: The Eighties

Svetlana's Hawaiian Trilogy: "A Little Bit Of Hanky Panky", "Surrender in Paradise", "Pink Lagoon"

Well, if you want to be picky, this is either a tetralogy including "Panty Raid" (reviewed in Part 21 of this series) in terms of all four films being shot in Hawaii in one go; or a pair of two-parters in terms of setting: "Pink Lagoon" is the sequel to "Surrender in Paradise" (albeit with a slightly different female cast), while "Panty Raid" is related to "Hanky Panky" in style even though they are not related in terms of plot.

These are all excellent films. I can't stress enough how suitable they are for couples. Some ladies, 'tis true, find Jerry Butler oily and creepy (and who can blame them really?) but the lush setting, the quality of the production and the carefree, fluffy atmosphere invariably gets them in good mood (and I speak from experience, both personal and reported). After all, that's what couples porn is supposed to do, isn't it? Svetlana really can't be beat at achieving this rare and happy state of affairs.

In "Surrender", a number of girls including Ginger Lynn, Lois Ayres, Renee Tiffany, Stacey Donovan and Diva (dammit, I keep forgetting one, help Peter!) are shipwrecked and just manage to reach the shore of a desert tropic island. Corny premise perhaps but honestly, how many "desert island" porn flicks have you REALLY seen? Two? Three? If that. For a corny, commonplace fantasy it's surprisingly (or perhaps not, if you think about the average porn budget) rare to find in porn.

After our lasses get into some serious g-g in the first night "in order to keep warm", they realise that they share their island with a fugitive, Arthur (the aforementioned Butler). At first they will have nothing to do with him (wise girls) but unfortunately he turns out to be very proficient in surviving in the while, whereas they can't even light a fire. So, one after the other, our girls first trade sexual favours for food&shelter (I can see it now: "WILL SELL SEXUAL FAVOURS FOR FOOD" :-)) and then fully admit Arthur as their lord and master. Diva's character at first remains aloof but in the end, when rescue comes and Arthur must remain in his island for fear of justice, she's the one to stay with him.

OK, screw the plot. How's the sex, I can hear you ask. Well, let me just say that you really can't do too bad with having Ginger and Stacey performing their porn debuts (these were really their first films). All the girls are very pretty and very natural. Having all the sex performed outdoors amidst goregeous Hawaiian scenery helps, and Svetlana behind the camera is a sure winner.

Some of the scenes are all-time classics IMHO: the two that stand out are Jerry-Renee (in which I am convinced there is some brief anal, but Peter might want to comment on that) and the closer, Jerry-Diva (featuring once of the best oral cumshots I've seen on tape).

"Pink Lagoon" starts predicatbly enough. The girls (this time Raven and ?? have tacitly taken Renee's and ????'s place in the cast) return to the island to inform Arthur that he's been pardoned. He's now alone, since Diva has also left the cast (some incredibly lame excuse is given). Then...

...well, no, I'm not going into the plot of this since it's wacky, unexpected and not a little amusing. I'll let you enjoy it and spare you the spoilers. I'll just comment on the quality of the sex without going into details. Again, you really can't go wrong with ingredients such as this (add Crystal Breeze to the recipe for this one -but also add Ron Jeremy :-)). The sex is perhaps not as brilliant as in the best scenes from "Surrender" but it's more plentiful and the quality is more consistent. Raven is also a wonder to watch; she's remained a very handsome and classy woman as years have gone by, but young and with her original flat chest she is a true wonder to behold.

Rating: 3.65 for both. Those of you who generally go for raunch should beware however.

"A Little Bit Of Hanky Panky" is a little bit confusing. The plot is... well, let's just say "tangential" to the quality of the film in general. But the sex is glorious. This time the cast includes Ginger, Stacey, Diva, Renee Tiffany but also Bunny Bleu (the original and best version of her, girlish, athletic and NATURAL), and the scenes they participate in are invariably great and at best *awesome*. The picture of Ginger RC'ing Ron Jeremy on a marble white Hawaian beach must be one of the all-time landmarks of US porn.

I'll rate that at 3.65 as well, strictly on the strength of the sex and the amusing premises of some of the scenes (the one with Jamie Gillis and Bunny is hilarious).

Girls on Fire

Another 80s classic. FBI agents Robert Bullock and Jamie Gillis are on the trail of some Mafia bigshot, only falling in the mistake of screwing the fellow's wife (the gorgeous Kimberly Carson). To escape the inevitable Sicilian wrath, they take refuge in a models' school whose owner (the always great R. Bolla) has instituted a strictly "no sex" policy. This being porn, the rules are repeatedly broken. This is a great little flick, with an incredible cast: Ginger Lynn, Angel, Cody Nicole, Shanna McCullough, Raven and the aforementioned Ms Carson. Bolla, Gillis, Bullock, John Holmes and Harry Reems are the necessary fellas.

The premise is nice and fluffy and sets up several very fine sex scenes. The only problem is that because of the huge cast you only get one scene out of each principal which is an unavoidable, but still unfortunate, Waste Of Resources. Despite this, it is a must-own film.

Rating: 3.60

Coed Fever

Another 80s extravaganza with a nice fluffy plot is "Coed Fever". Harold Lime produces a brilliant parody with an amazing cast. Everybody who was anybody in porn those days is present: Annette Haven, Samantha Fox, Lisa DeLeeuw, Serena, Vanessa Del Rio, an absolutely stunning Brooke West and Lisa Thatcher among others. Of the fellas you've got all the heavy artillery: Leslie, Gillis, Martin, even Ronnie Jeremy, at his trim and funny best.

This movie is one of the most perfect porn parodies in existence, taking the piss out of the B-grade fraternity movie genre with gusto. I prefer it to National Lampoon's Animal House, but that may be because of the sex :-). Every ingredient is there: the crusty Dean who separates the frat boys from their favourite sorority dates, the bitchy sorority leader (Haven, of course :-)), the smooth guy who takes all the girls (Gillis), the nerd who idolizes him (Martin), the nerdette whom he eventually fucks (West) and, of course, the cunning plan in the end with which the Dean is foiled and the good guys win. Need I say that the plan involves spiking the punch? :-) In the end you even get the "What Happened to Them" subtitles.

Brilliant but... There is a but. Once again the sheer enormity of the cast makes it impossible to arrange an encore sex scene for the majority. Some gorgeous cuties (who's that brunette at the start again, Peter? :-)) are wasted on brief blowjobs. I understand that they had a plot to unfold and a gazillion starlets to accommodate with sex scenes but...it's still a Waste Of Resources.

Still, an absolute scorcher. Rating: 3.70

...AND THE NINETIES?

Well, the nineties. Sure, there's stuff to watch even today. It doesn't come even close to the 70s or the 80s, of course, but if you tread real carefully, there'll be something for you out there.

Passion in Venice

The sole example for today is Cameron Grant's collaboration with European director Joe D'Amato, "Passion in Venice". I find it very clever of Grant to try and utilise the great resources available in Europe these days. In my last trip in the Conitinent I was pleasantly surprised at the quantity and quality of indigenous material. There were many recent high budget productions, frequently with attempts at plot but invariably with scorching sex, proving I guess, that the usual US producer excuse for giving us cheap and shitty is so much bullshit. And the starlets available are astonishingly beautiful and almost all of them natural.

One of the best examples is the incredibly beautiful Anita Kelly (or Anita Blonde), she of Private's "Arrowhead" fame. The Hungarian stunner is one of the biggest attractions in Europe these days; I kept finding tapes with her right to the end of my vacation. In "Passion in Venice" she is teamed with always beautiful Euro veteran Deborah Wells, and with one of the USA's greatest starlets of this day, the marvellous Juli Ashton.

I didn't care too much for the patchy plot of this feature, but I can find no fault with the sex. Technically the film is immaculate and the camera work flawless. The sets were opulent and sometimes outdoors (a huge plus for me). Unfortunately, the best scenes were ruined by Corny Porno Music (CPM).

Two of the scenes stand out: Juli Ashton spying on Anita and a dude and then fantasizing of taking part, and Juli and a dude watching the very pretty Kelly Trump getting screwed and in the end DPed by Sean Michaels and another Fella. Commonplace premises perhaps, but the sex is nothing to be laughed at. The Anita-Juli threesome in particular is one of the 0best scenes I've seen recently, though I guess this is mainly due to so much beauty blinding me :-).

Once again however, Cameron Grant passes the Imperial test. He's good. He's real good. Go get this one boys and girls, to reward him and have fun in the process.

Rating: 3.40

Hope you enjoyed the monster. I can't blame you it took you several installments to get to the end of it, it took me quite a few to write it. Feedback, preferrably in public, is the best way to ensure that I don't take another nine months until the next one.

Table of Contents | Part 30 | Part 32 | Copyright(C)


Created: Tuesday, January 28, 1997 9:58:24 PM