The Imperial Reviews: Volume 15

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1001 Erotic Nights

That's the 1982 original, with Annette Haven, John Leslie, Lisa DeLeew, Mai Lin, Lysa Thatcher, Tigr, Herschel Savage, Paul Thomas, Nicole Black and more. Brilliant work overall. The plot is a charming and FAITHFUL adaptation of the fairy-tale premise (they even get the place names right!), the acting is excellent throughout, the soundtrack delightful and the sex hot and tasteful. One of the classiest classics around. Annette is at her most gorgeous. Even though she's been a great favourite of mine for so long, only now do I realize that she gives perhaps the greatest head of all time; I love the hint of a smile when she takes the cock out of her mouth and examines it. Wow. Her final scene with John Leslie ends very tastefully with the shot fading away from the tent where they are entwined; an internal cumshot is implied.

This is a must-see for those among us who want to see "realistic" fucking. Other highlights of the film include a 3some on Lisa D. with Herschel and, I believe, Joey Silvera (billed as Civera and without his trademark moustasche); a great PT-Mai Lin scene; and a tremendous 3some between a Fella, Tigr and Lysa Thatcher. They are supposed to be sisters in this one, and boy do they fool you! They look like twins.

The Imperial Verdict: This is one for the ages. Buy it and put it next to "Sex World" and "Barbara Broadcast"; it deserves it. Rating: 4.00. A somewhat unnecessary foray into the Victorian era almost ruins the perfect rating with its silliness. However, this being the holiday season and all, I decided to be generous.

1001 Erotic Nights, Part 2

This is a decent, if colourless sequel made in the mid 80s. Jamie Gillis, Buffy Davies. Ariel Knight, Kelly Richards, Francois Papillion and other standard stars of that era. The lack of a good plot is made up for by including raunchier sex, including a DP on -you guessed it- Kelly. Fun, but nothing compared to the original masterpiece.

Rating: 3.00

Autobiography of a Flea

Jean Jennings, Annette Haven, Paul Thomas, John Holmes, John Leslie and others. Don't rent this for the sex. This is a "normal" movie, better than many of its mainstream counterparts (for example the soft-core adaptation of de Sade's "Justine", that was so successful in "real" movie-houses). The plot is, as Playboy confirms, a faithful adaptation from the book, and the flea's voice-over is impeccable. The acting falls in two categories: PT and Leslie are superb; Jean and John Holmes are acting up to their limited thespian talent; still, they are trying. The sex is nothing memorable and a lot of it is simulated.

The Imperial Verdict: the review for this one should really be over in rec.arts.movies. As a sex flick it is tremendous in its ambitious plot and careful production. It won't give you a hardon though.

Rating: 3.90

Alice in Wonderland

Hehehe, I actually *own* the Playboy issue with Kristine DeBell (or was that Catharine DeBerg?- no, that was from a Jane Austen novel :-)) on the cover, in mint condition. I assure you, it's a wonderful shot :-). That delightful creature became quite famous in 1978 for filming the aforementioned musical/porno. Back then they (allegedly) only released the R version, now you can lay your hands on the full X-rated cut.

Anyway, do NOT rent this if horny and begging to see flesh, for there is little of that. The main attraction of the film is its historical value. Back then the porn and daring mainstream movies were so near to one another that one cannot help but wonder what might have been had America not turned as conservative as it did. For this gets as close to mainstream as any porno will. The music is fun, the actors are not horrendous singers (I've seen worse musicals), and the whole storyline is not sillier than many of the mainstream erotic films of that time. The adorable Ms.DeBell is wonderfully cast as Alice, being exactly the sort of prancin', bouncin', youthful sort of lass we would expect. Believe me, they don't come any cuter than her.

So it's quite exciting to see her gobbling the odd cock or two, or to lick a tit here and there. Her scenes are short and not very well shot, but 'tis indeed her doing the nasty. In all she is in 3 sex scenes: one 40-second BJ on the Mad Hatter, a twin lesbo scene with 30 seconds worth of her being serviced by two other gals, and another 30 of her servicing the Queen of Hearts. Finally she does a 3 minute b-g scene with a suck and a cowgirl fuck. And that's it. There are some other sex scenes scattered here and there, but the whole point in renting the movie is Ms.DeBell.

No rating, but certainly worth a peek, if only for curiosity's sake. C'mon, people are actually *buying* the horrid Bobbit and Tonya tapes; at least this is charming at parts, something I can't really say for Tonya (or John's hapless wanger).

[Update 3/9/1995: There is a lot of controversy on whether it is indeed Ms. DeBell who's doing the nasty, or some body double. My guess is that she does some of the BJs and most of the g-g's. For the penetrational sex I cannot say]


The people that gave us the wonderful "8 to 4" in 1981, came back with "Trashi" in '82 and rehired several of the original cast (Lisa de Leeuw, Loni Sanders, Paul Thomas). To this they added more big names: Serena, Tigr, Lysa Thatcher, Dorothy LeMay, Sharon Mitchell, Joey Silvera (again billed as "Cilvera" and still without his moustache that makes him seem like a small time criminal) and more. It takes more than a great cast and a cute storyline to repeat a masterpiece like "8 to 4".

Not that "Trashi" is a bad movie; not by a long shot. It's miles better than most of the crap we get today, but still one wonders what might have been if the camera work was better and if Lisa did more than just give a BJ and have a little lesbo action with Sharon. The sex is warm at best and, amazingly enough, most of the fun in this movie is due the comedy. It can be quite corny at parts (Joey is playing his usual "confused" role as Inspector Crotch) but is quite hilarious at others. I can't get enough of the girls' "computer-like" voices (they are supposed to be humanoid robots programmed for sex); I saw this the other day with a bunch of pals and when we went out to grab a bite at the local Chinese restaurant, we were all reciting "I've never done this before", "Yum, Yum", "You are the best", in "metallic" voices every time we ordered something particularly weird but delicious. Hilarious!

Rating: 2.80. Certainly worth its rental but that's about it.

White Bunbusters

This was gathering dust in my collection, so I gave it another go recently. Hilarious. Dark Bros humour at its best: "Are you a victim of an anti-anal conspiracy? Does your girlfriend deny you your God- given rights to pork her cheeks as hard as you can? If that is you then call A-busters...". The title song is quite funny too, and quite catchy; I was horrified to hear myself whistling the tune today at work :-).

The dialogue is very funny throughout in a crude sort of way. Why are people queing up to watch "Dumb and Dumber", when one can rent "White Bunbusters" for $3, have the same kind of low-brow fun AND watch a load of DPs to boot? Erica Boyer (looking hot as hell I might add), Jeniffer Noxt, Rachel Ryan and Shanna McCullough all undergo the old deli treatment. Rachel has another anal scene with Dick Rambone, and Keli Richards has an anal 3some scene with Tom Byron and another fella. The A-busters are of course the well known duo: Mark Wallice and Steve Powers.

As all Dark Bros videos (I love the "Purveyors of fine filth" logo :-)), the sex scenes are very raunchy, though somewhat uneven in quality. The videography in the Erica and Keli segments is excellent, while in the rest of the scenes it is mediocre at best (actually Jeniffer's scene is rather poorly shot). Still, this is a must-have for anal and DP fans -I suspect that the tape is sitting proudly on Connoisseur's shelf :-)

Rating: 3.40 for anal fans, 3.10 for the rest. Certainly worth the purchase money.

Pleasure Seekers

Decent one day wonder from Vidco (certainly one of the better companies out there). Ashlyn Gere, Rachel Ryan, Heather Lere, Krystina King, Tamara Lee, Tom Byron, Mark Wallice, T.T. Boy. Nothing fancy, just lots of good looking people having normal sex. To the director's credit I must say that he made a great effort to make this cheapo worth its rental: full body shots abound, the original sound is there and the sex positions are great (RC by Ashlyn and *long* spooning sessions with Heather and Rachel in their respective segments). Most important however is the fact that he has succeeded in creating the illusion of couples behaving like normal people in bed: there is a lot of foreplay, a lot of kissing and embracing, continuous breast massaging during and *after* intercourse (and with Heather Lere's lovely bosom, this is indeed an advantage). All the while the camera picks the best spot and, for the first time in a recent flick, I got the impression that I was actually seeing people having sex and not just doing acrobatics. Oh sure, the acrobatics were there (RC, spooning) but there was at least an equal amount of wonderfully cuddly missionary with nicely entwined bodies and all. Prime material for couples; even the g-g part (which normally puts gals off) is mostly tit-massaging (plus acrobatics again, but you can FF that if it bothers her and still get the most out of the scene).

Rating: 3.00 and my congratulations to Vidco.

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Created: Saturday, November 04, 1995, 10:27:31 AM