The Imperial Reviews: Volume 10

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October 31, 1994

The Pink Pussycat

Well, my pal's busted video tape (see previous post for its other contents) had saved the best for last (sort of). "The Pink Pussycat", starring Ashlyn Gere, P.J. Sparxx, Trixie Tyler, Melanie Moore, Flame, Peter North, Jonathan Morgan and other Fellas. Ah, the good old days when PJ did men! Anyway, this is a good solid production on film, at times brilliantly filmed (in terms of camera angles, not some sort of cheesy "erotic" effects a la Blake); there is unfortunately some waste of resources. Ashlyn begins with a hot scene with Peter North. Ashlyn is her usual delightful, vocal self; and though I don't care much for facials, *this* one I could barely forget: Peter absolutely drenches her. I don't know which category this falls under ("normal" or "monster" facial) but it's damn impressive ("Kascha's friends" sort of impressive ;-))

After that we switch to PJ doing Jonathan and another Fella [6/1/1995: Peter says: "This is Zach Thomas (yes, mr. Sunset Thomas the lucky bastard ;-)"]. She gets rimmed and does some of her cutest faces on the process. The threesome is however rather brief and therefore a trifle disappointing; a bit like her threesome in "Chameleons -not the sequel". Anybody know a good, hard, long shag with PJ and two guys?

[Update 3/9/95: If you're dying to see a good, hard shag with PJ and 2 fellas, check out "3 wives", an otherwise ordinary rental]
From this slight misuse of resources we go to some blatant waste of the same. A bathtub frolicking with Flame and Trixie Tyler ends after only about a minute of the most promising overture. Flame does not reappear in the film. Now, I am not fanatical about Flame like old Steve, but she is undeniably a most charming creature to be wasted like that. Oh well.

Then we go to the film's crowning glory: Trixie Tyler and Tom Chapman: reverse cowgirl followed by the most superb of anals; fast, hard and LONG action. Amazing.

Ashlyn does Melanie Moore. Dunno why, but it didn't do much for me. Probably it is overshadowed by the preceding masterpiece. Then T.T Boy (the group's favourite ;-)) screws PJ (reverse cowgirl no less -woof!) while Carolyn Monroe takes it up the butt from Some Other Guy [6/1/1995: Peter once again comes to the rescue: "That's Cole Stevens (her SO)"]. The camera work here is rather poor. Finally Ashlyn, Tom Byron and Holy White (aka Rachel Mann according to the Dutch machine :-)) go about a 3some. Ashlyn is rimmed but unfortunately more time is wasted on filming Ashlyn fingering Tom, than showing the girls. Therefore I FF'ed through most of this scene.

The Imperial verdict: Good stuff, plentiful and raunchy. Some resources were not put to their best use but still, this is a superior film.

A 3.40

November 9, 1994

Blonde Justice 3

I know, I know, I have sworn that I will never rent another Vivid film (particularly one directed by that Bud Lee lamer), but see, Leslie Glass is in it, so I said what the heck and rented it. As I expected it was lukewarm, boring but not horrid. This Bud person may be completely incompetent when it comes to generating sexual heat but at least his camera work is passable. However, as is the case with other Vivid films, this one suffers from terrible sound dubbing, corny music and the like. I eventually turned the sound off.

As you probably know, this film stars Janine and Leslie Glass, the two well-known Pets. Also featured are Kylie Ireland (talk about a lame pseudonym!), April, and Rebecca Bardoux. There are also three Fellas, of the usual Vivid type (young, stoned-looking quasi-metalloids). I guess it could be worse (they could be Ron Jeremy), so I should not complain. Anyways, the central figure in this lameness is that woman April, a bleach-blond, plastic-titted, collagen-lipped inflatable doll. I suspect that before this teratogenesis on the surgeon's table took place, she was probably a very pretty girl. Even now, her figure (minus tits) is pleasing and she's got a very nice round behind; I'll even grant that her boob job is not the worst I've seen (that honour is reserved for Kelly Jaye). But it's a shame.

The plot is incredibly inane; the usual crap about the girl going away to LA to "discover herself". Very conveniently this process involves -as always- screwing several people, notably Janine. Honestly, I prefer the "Hi, let's fuck" sort of plot to this bull. There are 7 scenes, which is a plus. First our heroine does a Fella. Yawn. Then Rebecca Bardoux does a metalloid, incl. anal. OK, but could be better. Then Janine does a Kylie Ireland, your typical bleach, siliconated blonde. FF. Then comes the -IMHO-highlight of the show: Janine&Leslie in a strip club act (which is a bit too raunchy for the cops NOT to burst in, but I guess "suspension of disbelief" takes care of that :-)). Unlike Janine, who never did much for me either as a pet or as an X-star, Leslie is *hot* (from a beauty point of view only, 'cos her performance sucks loudly). This scene makes the $2.79 rental worthwhile but just barely. There are also two more girl-girl, one between Janine-April and one between Kylie-April, both of which are FF material. Somewhere in there is another FF-standard scene involving our heroine being licked -and rimmed- by a Fella who eventually jacks off on a glass table. Yuck!

The Imperial Verdict: Avoid, unless you are a Janine or Leslie fan (I can't imagine anybody being a die-hard Bud Lee fan :-)). This is also not, repeat NOT, suitable material for girlfriends, too many girl-girl scenes for her liking.

Rating 2.40

November 11, 1994

Project: Ginger

Ah, the mid-80s! The silver age of porn. Wonderful little videos, with mindless plots, lovely performers and hot sex. What can be a better example of that era's superiority to our drab present than a good old Ginger Lynn flick? Go rent "Project: Ginger", also starring Jennifer Noxt, Bionca, Heather Wayne, Rick Savage, Tom Byron, Marc Wallice and a couple others I sadly cannot recall. There are 8 scenes if you can believe that. Basically all possible pairings. Being a Ginger fan (who isn't?) I am obviously biased, but this is one hot item. Sadly there is no anal as such, though almost every scene has some use of toys (eg anal beads) as well as ass-fingering and rimming. Good stuff. The techincal merit is impeccable. Then again it's not surprising; it's a Bruce Seven film. And that of course means it's released through ... Vivid! How the mighty have fallen.

Rating: 3.25

Video Paradise

This stars a very young -and trim- Trinity Loren, Lois Ayres (back when whe was still Sondra Stillman), Buffy Davis, Peter North, Marc Wallice and more. Once again a good, solid outing. Boy, did Trinity look great back then. The sex is not very imaginative either in location (damn couches!) or variation, but there are two reverse cowgirls by Trinity so I guess everybody is happy at the end of the day. A 3.00

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Created: Saturday, November 04, 1995, 10:27:31 AM